So You Think You Can Destiel
by Riveting Red Pants
Summary: Dean and Castiel are competitors on So You Think You Can Dance. Dean makes an unlikely friend in a little contemporary dancer and they team up to help each other learn different styles of dance. Slowly their relationship morphs into something more. Will they be able to make it work while competing for the chance of a lifetime?
1. Lost in Just One Yesterday

So You Think You Can Destiel

** So I was thinking to myself, self, you haven't written very many just sweet happy things lately, I've been all cruel and death and doom and gloom. So I was like, self, you should somehow someday write something that will just make people happy. Just to prove you are capable of that. And then I was like, well self, I should do that, and when I think of a good one I will. And then I was in the car and this song came on the radio and it was so slow and pretty and because I used to watch a lot of So You Think You Can Dance, an image of people dancing came to me, and then I was like hmmmm AU? Since I haven't really done many, I think I've done maybe one. So I was like, self, that is a fantastic idea. And this was born. I haven't watched SYTYCD in a while, so I'm going old school with the style of the show, I know they keep changing it, but I liked it best like this. And I'm obviously not a dancer, so don't expect much fancy talk. ALSO, this story is rated T for now, that is subject to change as I may decide on an M, we'll just see how it goes. Comment and let me know what ya want. I'm sorry for the ramble, enjoy. And don't forget to review, it makes my heart sing almost as much as Destiel. **

**Chapter One: Lost in Just One Yesterday**

** Castiel- **

Castiel stood on the wings of the stage, his heart pounding all throughout him. He felt like it was going to pound out of his feet and leave him, marching away through the ground he stood on. His feet were bare, his shirt was gone, he wore only loose fitting pants and a nervous grimace. His hands were loose by his side but the clenched and unclenched randomly, he wiped his hands on his pants and jittered around, switching from foot to foot. They called him on stage, and a woman with a headset gestured him forward.

"Castiel Novak" A British voice sounded. The floor felt slightly grimy and cold on his feet, the lights were blinding, and the temperature suddenly climbed one thousand degrees and roasted him alive.

"Umm . . . hi." he said nervously, wringing his hands in front of him a bit, and then realizing that made him look even more nervous and he forced himself to lower his hands.

"Well aren't you just a cutie!" Mary exclaimed in her shrill voice, earning an uproar from the audience. He felt like he blushed from head to toe.

"Thank you." He said politely.

"So, Castiel, why do you want to be on this show?"

"D-dancing is my passion sir. I've been dancing since I could walk, and I'm going to keep dancing until I can't walk anymore. It's what I'm good at." Nigel grunted and gestured towards the center of the stage.

"Very well, go on." Now was his moment. Castiel felt like the world was on fire around him. He took a shaky breath to steady himself, and then another, and another. He closed his eyes and tried his hardest to cancel out the audience, to cancel out everything. The lights, the judges, the cameras. It was just him and the song now, the music would carry him, as it always did.

Castiel always thought of it this way, he could fly. Castiel could fly. But only when the right song was on. A song that had meaning, a song that he could feel. It was his super power. He waited for his song to come on. Choosing the song had been difficult. He wanted a song that could showcase his ability, but more than anything his personality. He wanted a song that told who he was to everyone, leaving him like a book that had just been opened. He felt like it was worse than stripping naked. He was literally telling the world who he was. He clenched his fists one last time. It was time to show the world himself.

The slow melody of the song came on, he fell into it, breezing across the stage and losing himself in the music. Lost by Katy Perry. He was dubious about choosing a Katy Perry song, but out of all his options he felt like it fit him right at this moment. He felt lost, he always felt lost, but he felt lost now more than ever. He felt like he didn't know where he was going, or what he was doing with his life. He felt like after his father had left, part of Castiel had been taken with him. He felt like when his brothers left a few years later, even more of Castiel was taken. Then, when he eventually left, it shattered him. The thing about leaving home, for most people, is that there is always a home to go back to. For Castiel, there never would be. This was it, he was out on his own, and he was lost.

The music came to a stop, and he stood on the stage, breathing heavily. It was only as the crowd erupted into a cacophony of cheers that he was brought back to earth, he realized he was crying. He wiped the tears from his face, embarrassed and gasping for air. He stepped forward towards the mic, smiling at the applause. If nothing else happened in his life, this was enough. He would always remember this moment, the lights shining down on him, everyone in the room clapping and whooping and cheering him on, cheering for who he was,because that's what he had shown them.

"Castiel, _do_ you feel lost?" Nigel asked. His chest constricted. This is where they wanted him to spill his guts on the stage, and he didn't want to do it, he could do it through dance, but actually speaking the words was so much more painful.

"I . . . I always feel lost sir. I feel like all of life is us stumbling from one safe house to the next, trying not to be lost, but being lost all along." Mary and Mia nodded along in empathy, but Nigel just smiled.

"Well, I guess we'd better get someone help you find the way to Vegas then! COME GET YOUR TICKET!" Castiel's face split into a grin and he rushed forward to snatch that oh so coveted piece of paper, he couldn't help the laugh that bubbled forth from his lips as he clutched his next safe house in his hands. Maybe now, he wouldn't have to be as lost.

**Dean- **

As the little man stepped on stage Dean nudged his buddy, Ash.

"He's tiny dude. No way his legs are long enough for some of the crap they're going to put us through." Ash laughed and nodded. The music started and Dean screwed his face up. "What kind of shit is this?"

"Ugh I think it's that . . . that Katy Perry chick."

"Gross." Dean retorted. But as the man started to move on stage, Dean found he was lost too. He was swallowed up by the song and was right there with the man, feeling all the pain he felt. The way he moved somehow translated emotions better than any words ever could. He was a contemporary dancer, the fact was already made obvious by his lack of clothing or shoes, but Dean felt like he shouldn't be categorized like that, the style of contemporary dance had too many rules for this man, the way he danced was so much more than just contemporary. When Dean noticed the man starting to cry, he felt his eyes burn, and had to blink several times to bring himself back down to earth. When the man was through and the applause exploded around him, Dean couldn't help but joining in. Everyone stared at the man, awe-struck. "Damn. Okay, I take it back. That was incredible." He said, his voice coming out a bit more groggy than he would like to admit, he cleared his throat.

"It was amazing." Sammy chimed in, mouth open in awe.

"There are no words for it. I feel gay for loving it as much as I did." Ash exclaimed, staring at the stage in a dazed sort of way. Dean shook his head.

"Nah man, it's not gay. He was showcasing human emotion in the best way possible." Ash gave him a look.

"Maybe you're the gay one." Dean punched him lightly in the arm.

"So what if I was?" He asked, only half serious. Ash just laughed and shrugged.

"Guess you'd beat me up if I said anything anyway, so I won't say shit. Dude I think you're going soon, you should probably get up there." Dean nodded, jogging towards the stage.

Some people would probably be nervous at this moment. Some people would be shaking a bit, sweating, feeling their heart beat faster. Dean was not those people. Dean was confident, in a way that could be seen as arrogance, but he didn't really care. Dean knew he was a good dancer, and relished the chance to share his immense skills with everyone around him. He wondered briefly if that other guy had been nervous, he hadn't gotten his name when he'd gone up. Something like Cats? He wasn't too sure, the names of the contestants were flying in one ear and out the other, only a few truly remarkable dancers had stuck in his mind, Cats (or whatever his name was) was the best so far. Well, Dean himself had yet to dance, and that's probably why.

"Dean Winchester!" Nigel called. Dean took a deep breath, bounced on the balls of his feet, and walked- no, strutted onto the stage.

"Hi!" He said, smiling his most charming of smiles.

"What's your story Dean?" Nigel asked him, waiting for his "sob" story that would win him points with the audience. Dean had spent a lot of time thinking about how he was going to do this. Did he want to reveal his entire life to these people? To strangers? He wasn't the kind of person to talk about his feelings, and he certainly didn't like going over his painful history. He felt like it was as if he had gotten a tooth pulled, and he kept running over the empty space with his tongue. But he knew how to win, he had watched So You Think You Can Dance enough times to know, the winner was always a fantastic dancer- with a sob story. It wins sympathy from the audience. So, he decided he'd do what had to be done.

"I grew up with a dead beat dad, he beat me and my little brother, Sammy." The audience gasped, and leaned forward, hungry for juicy details. "Well I came home one day and Sammy was half dead on the floor, I did what I had to do and made him leave, I took care of Sammy, and unfortunately that meant falling in with the wrong people. I joined a gang that was supposed to keep the neighborhood safe, keep Sammy safe, but instead it just landed me in jail. In jail and on the streets I learned how to break dance and krump, and then when I got out and cleaned up I became a janitor for a dance studio and got free lessons on the weekends." He paused and licked his lips, feeling like he was confessing his sins. "Dancing is so much more than just a hobby to me. Dancing is an escape, it pulled me out of the darkest part of my life and pushed me to where I need to be, which is here."

The audience clapped, cheering him on.

"Very well then, show us why you're here." Dean went back to the middle of the stage, and waited. After a few seconds his music came on. He had picked a hip hop remix of "Just One Yesterday" by Fall Out Boy that Ash had remixed for him. His musical taste was odd, he liked rock music, but he danced hip hop, so he was always finding new ways to combine the two. This song had special meaning to him. If he could go back and change the mistakes he'd made in the past, leaving Sammy by himself because of his stupid choices, he would. He would trade all his tomorrows for a day before he had chosen to join that gang. He let the beat move him across the stage, popping, doing all his tricks that wowed everyone, combining hip hop, break dancing, and krumping in one dazzling show of skill. He had mastered all three styles, the judges had to be convinced that he could master anything he set his mind to by the end of this one. He didn't get absorbed in the song, per say, he was too busy focusing on the technique. He planted his feet on the ground and did that move that always made people shout, the one where he twisted around and put his head through his legs and started crawling back and forth like a crab. He grinned a goofy grin, and untwisted himself as the song came to an end. Break dancing was all about putting on a show.

He stepped up to the middle of the stage, breathing heavily.

"Dean where is your brother now?" Nigel asked him.

"He's here, with my buddy Ash."

"Can you call him up to the stage please? I'd like to meet him!" Dean made eye contact with Sammy in the audience, apologizing in advance. He had been cool with selling his story to the public, but he was trying to avoid selling Sammy's.

"Sammy come on buddy!" Sam gave him his worst bitchface as he climbed the stairs to the stage, and stood nervously in front of everyone. The audience cheered again and Dean grinned, clapping his brother on his back. Sam towered over him but that didn't stop Dean from feeling protective.

"Whoa I thought he was your _little_ brother Dean!" Mary announced, looking around for the audience's reaction. Everyone laughed. Dean smiled.

"He is, I just accidentally fed him miracle grow once when we were kids." More laughter.

"Young man, what do you think of your brother's dancing?" Nigel asked Sam. Sam stepped up to the microphone and mumbled,

"I think he's incredible." There was a pause.

"We think so too! COME GET YOUR GOLDEN TICKET!" Sammy actually whooped and cheered and hugged Dean, laughing in joy with him as Dean rushed forward to grab the coveted piece of paper. This was it, he was in.


	2. Competition

**Chapter Two: Competition**

**Castiel: **

Castiel sucked in a deep breath, his suitcase pulling along behind him, and his duffel slung over his shoulder. He checked in to the hotel the contestants were staying at, and met his roommate, Balthazar. Balthazar was a nice guy, British and cocky, but nice. He made Castiel smile. Balthazar had auditioned in San Francisco, he was a tango dancer. Their first night there was a free night, they were free to roam the city and do whatever they wanted. Balthazar and Castiel went out for dinner with a few of the other contestants, Meg, a theatrical dancer, and her friend Lucifer, who had a devil tattooed on his neck. Lucifer shook Castiel's hand and asked Castiel to call him Luci, said he wouldn't mind. Castiel shrugged and did so.

They had a wonderful time, Luci got a little to ahead of himself and drank too much, Castiel played it safe and only had one drink, drinking lots of water so it wouldn't hurt his performance the next day. Everyone laughed and was very nice, but in the background there was that tension of competition.

"So who was the best dancer at your audition in . . . Austin you said Castiel?" Meg asked him, leaning into him a little bit. She had had three drinks.

"Umm . . . I was really nervous so I didn't pick up on anyone before me, but right after me this hip hop guy went. He was incredible. He could hip hop, break dance, and krump. He was really cocky though, had a great sob story."

"Ugh I loathe the sob stories." Luci said, rolling his eyes. "My daddy didn't love me, he kicked me out of the house, blah blah blah." Balthazar chuckled.

"Luci wasn't that _your _sob story?" Balthazar asked. Luci grinned back.

"As a matter of fact it was."

"Was it true?" Castiel asked him, dubious. He had to admit, he didn't believe half of the stories, not _everyone _had issues, or if they did, they couldn't be that bad.

"Yeah it was true, that doesn't mean I didn't ham it up as much as possible." He said, a slightly evil glint in his eyes. "You gotta say what you gotta say to win their hearts big boy. What was your sob story?"

"I don't have one." Castiel answered all too quickly. Balthazar looked at him funny.

"Everyone has one." He said, seeming unsure of the words even as he said them.

"Maybe, but I don't want to share."

"How did you get in with no sob story?!" Balthazar asked.

"I like to think they base this competition on something called _talent._" Castiel answered, frostily. The table erupted in _OHHH! _And laughter. Balthazar let him off the hook for the time being, and Castiel relaxed a bit.

"So what divine torture do they have lined up for us tomorrow?" Meg asked, flipping her brown curly hair over her shoulder.

"Oh you know, I heard they're starting group work early this year. They said if you can't participate in a group, the rest of it doesn't matter."

"Crap." Luci said, looking genuinely put out. "Group work is supposed to be the hardest of all of Vegas week."

"That's what I've heard too. But we should be able to pull through, just be nice and work hard." Castiel said, trying to sound optimistic.

"Hah, easy for you to say, you're such a lovable little angel." Luci practically sneered, mussing up Castiel's hair. Castiel pulled away a bit.

"What's your style anyway? I don't think you ever told me."

"Tap dance." Luci told them. The table was silent for a moment before everyone burst into laughter.

"Good luck mate." Balthazar said, clapping Luci on the back.

"Just watch." Luci said, crossing his arms confidently, "One day, I will rule you all."

"Yeah right cupcake." Meg said, pinching his cheek. He swatted her away playfully.

They all went back to the hotel, said goodnight, and turned in early, but late for Castiel's taste. Eleven. He had hoped to be in bed two hours ago so he would be perfectly ready for tomorrow. He had faced a lot of challenges in his life, but group work might be the hardest so far. He grimaced and slid under the blankets.

** Dean: **

Dean got to the hotel a little late, he checked his watch. His plane had gotten delayed and he spent most of his afternoon in the airport in Austin. He yawned and stretched as he got in the elevator. The hotel smelled nice, fresh, like soap. The carpet was red with yellow designs and faded, but clean. He looked up at he ceiling of the elevator and saw himself looking down at him. He smiled and ran a hand through his hair, trying not to notice the panic in his own eyes. He had been watching the auditions almost studiously, thanks to Sammy. Know your enemy, that's what his dad always used to say. He cringed just thinking of his father. He hadn't lied to the judges, hadn't been theatrical. He told the story just like it was, if anything he glossed over it quite a bit. He took a deep breath and steadied himself. That was all behind him now.

He found his room and slid the key card and watched the light glow green. He opened the door and a small bony body was flung at his own.

"HOWDY THERE ROOMMATE!" Dean grunted and tried to process what was happening. This tiny little man was all pressed up against him. Dean shoved him off. "Name's Garth, I'm your new roommate!"

"So I gathered." Dean said, grimacing at the overly cheery face. He realized Garth was waiting for his name in return. "Oh I'm uh . . . I'm Dean." Garth's eyes lit up like it was Christmas day.

"Nice to meet ya Dean!" Garth seized his hand and shook it.

"So what do ya wanna do on or first night in? It's a free night! We can roam the city!" He said enthusiastically. Dean stepped around Garth and put his bag on the bed that was empty.

"Uh I was kind of going to stay in tonight, rest up a bit. Tomorrow all the hard work starts." Garth deflated like a balloon and sagged against the desk.

"Oh, yeah. That's probably smart." Garth was silent for a moment and Dean was thinking he would finally get some peace. He started to unpack his things and then Garth spoke up again "well maybe we can watch a movie!" He chirped excitedly, jumping onto his bed across from Dean. Dean looked at the guy, bright hope shining in his eyes. He really just wanted a friend, Dean realized. He sighed.

"Okay, that sounds great." Dean said, taking out his clothes he had bought just for the competition. He had to go out and buy all new clothes to dance in that were specific to each type of dance, or at least that he could work in.

"How does _City of Angels_ sound?" Garth asked, staring at the Television dreamily. "Meg Ryan just delivers the most fantastic performance in that one, and it might be one of Nicholas Cage's only good movies."

"Uhh . . . a bit fruity for my taste."

"Have you seen it though?" Garth asked, sitting up straighter. Dean looked at the screen to the cover of the movie, Meg Ryan dramatically turning her head and Nicholas Cage creeping up from behind her in what was supposed to be romantic. Dean scoffed.

"Psh, no." He answered. Garth grinned like a spider who had just caught a fly in it's trap.

"Good, we're watching it."

"But-," Dean started, but Garth held up a finger.

"No cuts, buts or coconuts." Garth said, completely serious.

"What does that even mean?!" Dean asked, throwing his shirts on the pile of neatly folded clothes already covering his bed.

"Exactly what it sounds like it means." Garth bought the movie on the TV and Dean watched it while he unpacked. He had to admit it was kind of gripping. By the end he was laying on his stomach on his bed, his chin resting in his hands as he watched the movie. When Maggie died, Dean sat with his mouth shaped like an "O".

"I thought chick flicks were supposed to have happy endings!" He announced, gesturing at the screen annoyed.

"It's not really all that much of a chick flick though. It's about sacrificing who you are for who you love. It's about taking leaps of faith, and even though you sacrifice yourself," Garth was sniffling a little "You end up becoming the best version of you possible through love." Dean stared at the bony little man. He didn't want to admit it, but Garth was deep. "Yes it's sad because Maggie died, but it's also happy because Seth found himself. He spent only a moment with her, in the grand scheme of things, but that moment was better than anything else he had ever had before, or would ever have again. It was worth it because he loved her." Garth finally met Dean's eyes. "So did you like it?" Garth asked him.

"Honestly, yeah, I did. It was a great movie." Dean smiled as Garth seemed to glow with happiness. "I think it's time for bed now, night Garth."

"Night buddy!" Garth said, optimistically. Dean wanted to grunt, and tell Garth they weren't buddies, but something about the warm smile on Garth's face just made it hard to be mean to him. Dean just let it slide and settled into his sleep.

**Castiel: **

The next day, Castiel woke up at five to stretch and drink some water and prepare for the day. Balthazar slept in. Dean went down to the lobby and got them both a healthy breakfast of toast and water with a banana. Something light that would keep them going. When he got back Balthazar was awake and greeted him with a groan.

"Not a morning person I take it? Castiel asked grinning at Balthazar's sleep hair which was sticking up crazily.

"I am not, as it turns out. I hate mornings and people and people who like mornings." Balthazar peered through his sleep-induced haze at Castiel.

"How are you alive right now? Did you drink six cups of coffee?" Castiel shook his head.

"No, just some water." He peeled his banana and took a bite.

"Did you bring me coffee?" Castiel smiled and gestured to the nightstand beside Balthazar's bed. Balthazar grabbed the steaming paper cup and inhaled the scent.

"Ahh Castiel I may just have to marry you." He said, teasingly as he sipped at the delicacy.

"Unfortunately, I am married to dance. Otherwise we would work out perfectly." Castiel threw his banana peel in the trash and wiped off his hands. "Time to go, we have to be there in an hour and I want to get there early, you coming?" Balthazar got up and got ready slowly, taking tiny bites of his toast. Castiel got anxious but pushed the anxiety aside. Fifteen minutes later they were in the taxi on the way to the theater.

They got there in perfect time, still early. Castiel scoped out the competition with Balthazar, Luci and Meg walked up to them and greeted them. Apparently, Luci wasn't a morning person either, he looked like he would shoot fire out of his eyes if anyone so much as looked at him, but Meg didn't seem scared, she dragged him around by the hand and introduced him to people. Castiel nudged Balthazar.

"They're kind of a cute couple." He whispered. Balthazar nodded in agreement.

"If he could wake up enough to see that she's devoted to him, they'd work out great."

"I don't think he could wake up enough to tie his shoes right now." They both chuckled. The judges came in and sorted everyone into groups. Castiel was taken away from everyone he knew and thrust into a group of people he'd never met before, and that one guy that had gone on after him, the hip hop dancer.

"These are your new groups for the next two days." Nigel announced. "Group work is often the most challenging part of Vegas week, after which we will cut half of the competition. The rest of you will be weeded out through our different routines put together by our choreographers, and each of you will be responsible for choreographing two solos, some may be asked to do more than two. Vegas week is the most intense and stressful part of the competition. We will push you until you break, and believe me, you will break. So with that said, get to know your groups and choreograph your own group routine to one of the songs on the list we will pass out, and tomorrow you will be dancing them on stage. Good luck." The room was silent for a moment as everyone looked around them in fear. Everyone looked scared, alone, and some even looked hopeless. Everyone except the guy from the Austin auditions.

"Well, he sure went from nice to harsh real fast." The man said, smiling. He looked around at the group. Three girls and three boys in total, they went around and introduced themselves. They had a kind of rude brunette woman named Ruby who was a Salsa dancer, they had a confident woman who stood with her arms crossed and her blonde hair spilling down her shoulders named Jo, she was a hip hop dancer. They had Jess, a nervous little thing who danced contemporary. They also had Kevin, a tiny Asian dude with short cropped black hair who danced ballet.

"My names Castiel, I dance contemporary." Castiel introduced himself nervously, waving a little. Everyone smiled and waved back. The man's grass green eyes lit up from recognition.

"Oh yeah I saw you in Austin, I went on right after you." He held out his hand. "The name's Dean Winchester, I dance hip hop, break dance, and do a little bit of krumping." Castiel smiled and shook his hand.

"Nice to meet you Dean, I saw you preform, you were great."

"Thank you." Dean said, curt and to the point. "Now let's get down to it. What song are we looking at?" He flipped through the list. "What style do we want to dance to, and what is our team name?" They went off to a corner somewhere and started to argue as most groups were doing. Ruby kept trying to take over control of the entire team, and Jo argued with her and Dean a lot. Kevin and Jess just kind of sat back quietly, Jess seeming maternal towards him. Castiel sat alone, and mostly silent as Ruby, Jo, and Dean argued. They hadn't settled on anything, not even a team name.

"We have two contemporary dancers, two hip hop dancers, one ballet dancer, and one salsa dancer. How are we going to find a dance that all of us can do?" Ruby shouted.

"It's not about what all of us can do, it's what we can learn to do." Dean argued back. "Who's the best learner?" He asked, his eyes spearing everyone in the group. Ruby raised her hand arrogantly and Jo had to join in, mostly to compete with each other, it seemed. Kevin hesitantly raised his hand as well. Dean gave him a look.

"Well I was in advanced placement." Kevin mumbled. Dean finally looked to Castiel.

"What, Castiel, you can't learn?" he asked.

"Well . . . I-I'm not very experienced with-,"

"Whatever." Dean cut him off rudely. Castiel felt like someone had ripped the floor out from underneath him. He had perceived Dean as a nice guy, despite how curt he was with him earlier, and he for sure admired Dean for his dance skills, but now that Dean's brutality was turned on him, he found himself annoyed by it. "Okay, if angel face and blondie can't learn, it looks like we'll all be learning some contemporary. How good are you two at teaching?" He asked, pointedly.

"Fairly good, I have taught at-,"

"I didn't ask for your pedigree angel face." Dean snapped at Castiel. Castiel could feel himself turning red.

"I am a good teacher." Jess said, kindly breaking the tension. Castiel was thankful for the interruption, as he felt like he would lunge at Dean and choke him if he wasn't distracted.

"Okay. Now that we've got that settled." Dean started, "What's our team name?" Castiel bristled at Dean's assertiveness, lording over them all as if they were his followers or something.

"How about team Free Will?" Castiel asked, glaring at Dean. Dean met his glare and opened his mouth to respond when Jo spoke up.

"I like it. Team Free Will . . ." She smiled to herself.

"Yeah it's good, whatever." Ruby said, glaring at Dean as well. "Team Free Will as in, you're not a dictator jackass." She said poisonously. Castiel smiled at his small achievement.

"I think it's lovely." Jess piped in, Kevin just nodded in agreement. Dean grunted and rolled his eyes.

"Whatever, Team Free Will it is, least of my worries. What song are we picking?" They argued for another twenty minutes over what song, Jess and Castiel having the final pick as they were the contemporary dancers.

"I always like to pick songs that have some sort of meaning." Castiel said, almost to himself, going through the list. "Hmm . . . what about Lost in my Mind by the Head and the Heart?" Dean just scoffed.

"What kind of meaning does that have for you, angel face?" Dean sneered.

"Well, currently you're making me _lose _my mind assbutt!" Castiel shouted back. He wasn't one for cursing, or really getting angry at all, so yes, the word assbutt actually came out of his mouth. Dean just raised his eyebrows cockily.

"Assbutt? Really?"

"Shut up." But Jo and Ruby were already cracking up, and even Kevin was smiling a bit.

"Assbutt is pretty lame bro." Kevin said, nudging him with his elbow. Castiel didn't mind Kevin's taunting, he didn't mean anything by it, it was Dean that was annoying him to no end, and Ruby and Jo a little bit too.

"I guess our angel face is too pure for a real insult." Dean chuckled. Castiel wanted to punch him right then and here, but he felt a cool hand on his arm. Jess, of course.

"Just walk away Castiel, if you get in a fight it could ruin your chances here. Walk away, take a breather, and then come back and we can start working on the routine. That song you picked is great, I can get them to start listening to it and we'll formulate a plan. It's all going to work out." She spoke hushed so the others wouldn't really hear, and Castiel just nodded and walked away, clenching his fists. How was he going to get through this competition if he couldn't stand his group? He just had to make it through tomorrow and he was with these . . . these assbuts.

**Dean: **

Dean watched Castiel walk away, his fists clenched. Part of him hurt for it, he felt awful, he really did, being so mean to Castiel. But Jo and Ruby understood. If the guy is better than you, you have to be a dick. You can't associate with him. You try and tare him apart mentally so that when he dances, he's not as good. Dean really wanted to get to the top twenty, no, he really wanted to win. And Castiel was his biggest competition. Jo and Ruby were just kind of rude, but that made it easier to be rude back. Kevin, Dean had seen a clip of his audition, and the kid was good, no doubt, but he wasn't the biggest threat. Jess he hadn't seen audition, but something about the way she looked at him made it impossible for him to be anything but stern with her. She was nice, but underneath her niceness was something harder. Something that said she'd kick his ass if he was mean to her, so he didn't bother. Castiel was the double threat, nice _and _the biggest talent around, only Castiel didn't know that. Everyone else did.

"You shouldn't do that." Jess said, sternly to the group. "We are a team, we should start acting like one."

"The guy's talented." Ruby said, as if that explained enough. Only it didn't, not to Kevin and Jess, who were too good to see it.

"What does that have to do with anything?" Jess asked.

"He's competition." Jo said, lowering her eyelids a little. Jess made a disgusted noise.

"You people are terrible." She said, she nudged Kevin.

"C'mon Kevin, we're going to go find him and make sure he's okay, we'll be right back, and when we are, I hope you three get over yourselves and start acting like decent human beings instead of this . . . this _scum._"

She got up, dragging Kevin with her as they followed after Castiel. Ruby just snorted, and did her best Jess impersonation.

"_I hope you three get over yourselves . . _." She mimicked, "Holy shit I can't wait to get away from these goody two-shoes." She said, rolling her eyes. Dean smirked at her. Jo just looked at the ground.

"She is kind of right, we're being awful to him and he's really done nothing to deserve it."

"We're being awful to everyone, he's just being a little bitch about it." Dean said, trying to ignore the truth in Jo's words.

"Everyone handles things differently." She said, pushing her hair back behind her ears and tying it up into a knot. "We could lay off, just a bit."

"Not gonna happen." Ruby sneered. Jo glared at her.

"You're such an evil bitch."

"I know, I don't really care." Ruby responded, looking at her manicure.

"Dean, what about you?" Jo asked him. "Are you going to lay off a bit?" Dean thought about it. Part of him wanted to scream, _Yes of course I'll lay off!_ But instead the words that came out of his mouth were,

"Not a chance."


	3. Lost in My Mind

**Chapter Three: Lost in My Mind **

** Castiel: **

Together, Jess and Castiel choreographed a routine to the song Castiel picked out. They each had a small solo in it, Castiel and Jess worked themselves to the bone to make sure everyone had a chance to shine. Kevin picked up the contemporary right away, as ballet seemed to glide right into it. Ruby was the second fastest, and soon she was sneering at Jo and Dean as they stumbled to learn. Dean wouldn't give up. If he couldn't figure out a move, he'd do it over and over again, sitting in a corner by himself for hours until his body moved the same way the rest of the groups did. The way Castiel's did. At one point Castiel watched him try to nail a particularly hard move where he was supposed to run and leap into the air and spin. Dean was to busy focusing on the technicality of it. Castiel walked over to him.

"Dean you're not hearing the song." Dean landed and stumbled a bit, leaning up against the wall and panting a bit. He picked up a bottle of water and started to drink it.

"So? Who cares about the stupid song right now, I have to get the move right."

"You're not going to get the move if you don't let the song move you. Your style of dance . . . it isn't so much about the music. It is about the moves. Contemporary is about emotion, it's about feeling the music and letting _it _move you." Dean stared at him, not understanding.

"That sounds like some pansy shit angel face." Castiel bristled.

"Fine, whatever, I'm just trying to help you. Ignore me, go ahead and look bad on stage, see if I care." Castiel walked off, and paused, turning to face Dean. "By the way, it is supposed to look like this." He leaped into the air, spinning gracefully and landing without so much as a misstep, his feet pointed and his arms in perfect lines. He gave Dean a look before walking off to practice his own moves. So what if the idiot wouldn't listen to him? It might bring them down as a group, but if everyone else did well, hopefully the weakest link would be exposed. Castiel sighed. He had such high hopes for Dean, but now wasn't the time to mourn friendships that could never form, now was the time to focus. He doubted he would be getting much sleep tonight, maybe two hours at most. He had to focus on not letting his team down.

Team Free Will might be comprised equally of assbutts and kind heart-ed dancers, but he had a duty to all of them, and to himself, and he wouldn't forget that. It didn't matter that Ruby bumped into him constantly on purpose. He still helped her perfect her solo without so much as a thanks. It didn't matter that Jo kept shooting him sympathetic looks instead of actually doing something when Dean would snap at him, when she fell down, he still helped her get back up. Kevin and Jess were nice, and their technique was near perfection, so they didn't need much help. Ironically, it was those who had been rude to Castiel from the start who needed him. He just sighed and accepted the responsibility. But if Dean refused to be helped, there was nothing he could do. When he looked back over into the corner, Dean had his earphones in and was staring down at the Iphone in his hand intently. Maybe he was listening to the song again after all. Castiel hoped he was, because the truth was, Castiel could apply the song to Dean.

**Dean: **

Why did angel face have to be right about freakin' everything? Dean watched as he seemingly floated through the air with jealousy, wishing he could command his body to do that. He sat down on the ground and stuck in his earphones, pulling up the song on youtube again. He played it back and leaned his head against the wall, listening to the words. The song seemed to be about a man comforting another man. They parted for some reason, maybe not on the best of terms, but the man still had kind things to say, he wasn't mean. He just encouraged him if anything. Dean looked over to Cas again. Did he pick it on purpose? Was it supposed to be about Dean? Dean stared back at his Iphone, at the words on the screen.

_How's that brick lane coming_

_how's your engine running_

_is that bridge getting built_

_are your hands getting filled_

Somehow the words sounded so nice to him. They were simple words that really had a loose meaning, but the way they were sung, it was with the best of hopes.

_Won't you tell me my brother _

_cus there are stars up above_

How was it possible for the song to sound so sad yet so happy? Dean stared at his Iphone for a few moments after the song ended, just soaking it in. When he was done, he got up and tried the move again, doing what Castiel told him to do, but he couldn't hear the song. He unplugged his headphones and played the song as loud as it would go, not caring if it disturbed everyone around him. He was supposed to run and jump on the part that picked up pace a little more. The song started out slow and peaceful and then about a minute and a half in it picked up with the chorus. He ran and leaped through the air, spinning as he did so and landing it for once. He grinned up at himself in the mirror and only then did he notice a pair of blue eyes meeting his. Castiel was smiling, and then as they made eye contact, seemed to notice he was smiling, and went back to the stretch he was doing, pointing out that Jo needed to stand up straighter when she did her RDJ. Dean felt a warmth bubbling inside of him, proud of himself, and happy that he had made Cas smile.

Maybe Jo and Jess were right, maybe he should be nicer to the guy, if making him smile made Dean feel like this. He shrugged it off and perfected the rest of his moves, soaking up the steps like a sponge from here on out.

**Castiel: **

The moment was finally upon them, they had worked all through the night and Castiel was wrong, he did not get two hours of sleep, he got thirty minutes. He felt like he had been hit by a train. He stretched out for the billionth time and forced another bottle of water down his throat. He yawned and twisted, preparing himself as much as he could. Team Free Will waited in the wings of the stage, everyone looking as awful as Castiel felt. Tensions were high this morning. Lack of sleep and overwork and competition had everyone wound as tight as a string on a guitar. Dean had been snapping at everyone all morning, even Jess. Jo was just grumbling under her breath now and glaring. Ruby was like a snake, striking at whatever weaknesses she saw in everyone else. Even Kevin had lost it for a brief moment and had to excuse himself to take deep breaths and repeat some sort of mantra to himself.

They were called on stage.

"Team Free Will" Nigel read, they walked out on stage to see him looking at the paper that had their team name on it and shaking his head. Castiel was sure he'd seen weirder team names in his years. They got in their positions and the music started, no sob stories this time, thank goodness, there wasn't time for that. Now it was just dance. Everyone moved like a well oiled machine, only a few missteps, When it came time for Dean to do his big jump, Castiel felt as if he was holding his breath for Dean. He himself was supposed to be lifting Ruby and twirling her. He watched over her shoulder as Dean leaped into the air, throwing himself in time with the song. He nailed it. Castiel had to try to conceal the smile on his lips. He had to remember that part of contemporary dancing was acting, well, part of any dancing was acting. This song wasn't a song to smile about. It was a kind song, yes, but it was too emotional to smile, Team Free Will had decided that early on. The song ended, and they finished, Dean standing over Castiel in the ending pose they agreed upon with Jo balanced in his arms, Kevin holding Jess, who towered over the kid, Ruby on the floor with Castiel.

The audience clapped, but it wasn't an applause like there was in the auditions, which made sense. Everyone was tired, everyone was strained, everyone was competition. The judges smiled and looked very pleased.

"That was amazing!" Mandy Moore announced into her microphone. "I loved everything about it, the emotion you all displayed was perfect! You told a story with your bodies, with your expressions. That is what dancing is about people!" More morose clapping.

"Thank you." Dean said into the one mic on stage, of course he was taking the lead, and in result, the credit. Castiel tried not to glare at him.

"I absolutely LOVED that leap you did into the air!" Mary commented to Dean. Dean grinned. "You are a hip hop dancer right?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Well you coulda fooled me!" She screamed. Castiel had to resist the urge to wince, everything seemed too loud, too bright, and Mary had to scream _everything. _Maybe he was just too grumpy from lack of sleep. "And Jo, your lines were perfection! Kevin and Jess and Castiel, your technique was spotless, and Ruby you seemed so confident, and you certainly should be!" Everyone grinned and nodded and thanked her for the praise. The judges consulted for a moment before Nigel announced,

"You are all through to the next round!" Kevin grinned and whooped a little, Jess smiled and high fived him, Ruby laughed, and Jo hugged Dean and Dean spun her around in his arms and then released her and threw up his hands in victory. Castiel just stood to the side, grinning at the whole thing and laughing a bit, too tired to really participate. "Go get some rest, because tomorrow, the real work begins."

Castiel walked off stage, still breathing heavily from all the dancing, just wanting to go to his room and sleep, and maybe get some food on the way. Jess clapped him on the back lightly and smiled sweetly at him.

"Good work out there Castiel." He smiled tiredly at her.

"Thanks." He said. He shook hands with Kevin and wished the two of them luck, he thought about doing something similar to the rest of the group, but he was honestly too tired to be nice anymore. He simply kind of smiled at Jo and then passed over the other two, not bothering. He turned and walked away, and as he was leaving Dean called,

"Good job angel face! See ya tomorrow." Castiel felt anger coil up inside of him, but he was far too tired to care. He simply slumped to the hotel room and fell asleep on the bed, on top of the blankets, and still in his clothes because he was too tired to do anything but fall down face first onto the mattress.

**Dean: **

"Why do you have to do that?" Kevin asked, his voice strained from exhaustion.

"Do what?" Dean asked, picking up his bag and taking a big gulp of water as Castiel walked away.

"You have to provoke him like that! It's not right! He's a nice guy and he helped us all out, without him we would've been shit!" Kevin was properlly angry now, Dean could tell it in the way he stood, in the glint in his eyes. After being around dangerous people for a long time, Dean learned how to tell if someone was too angry, if he should bolt. He took in Kevin, seperated legs, clenched fists, shoulders drawn back, his eyes burning with hatred. He could take Kevin easily in a fight. But there was a difference, Kevin was actually pissed off, and pissed off people tend to have more motivation.

"Whoa dude, chill out." Dean said, capping his water and slinging his bag over his shoulder.

"I'M NOT GOING TO CHILL OUT! I AM SO GLAD GROUP WORK IS OVER SO I NEVER HAVE TO WORK WITH YOU AGAIN! YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE! YOU USED HIM TO GET BETTER AND YET YOU STILL DIDN'T RESPECT HIM! IT'S WRONG!" Kevin shouted, making people stare. Luckily they were in between groups, so no one was interuppted. The judges turned around and faced them. Dean grabbed Kevin by the arm, Jess started to protest but Dean silenced her with a look. He dragged the kid out into the hallway.

"If you've got shit to say, say it where the people who are deciding my future can't hear." Dean spat out.

"You're a terrible person and I hope I never have to see you again." Kevin finished.

"Well just dance like you normally do, and that won't be an issue." Dean told him, poison loaded in his words. Jess had come out into the hallway with them and physically threw herself at Kevin to stop Kevin thrashing Dean.

"JUST GO, DEAN!" Jess shouted at him. Dean turned and walked away.

"Why do you even call him angel face anyways? That's not a real insult you know!" Kevin screamed after him. Dean turned around and smirked,

"If it wasn't a real insult, then how come he finds it so insulting?" Dean asked before walking away. No one answered him, of course. Everyone hated him. Good, let them hate him. He didn't care, he didn't need these asshats. He had Sammy, and Bobby, and Ash, and that's all that mattered. These people were fake anyway, they would all betray him to get ahead in the competition, which is why he wouldn't let them even get the chance. He would not be damaged like that. It was better to be alone.

He walked into the room and was greeted by an enthusiastic Garth.

"Hey buddy! I saw your performance! Wow you were-,"

"Save it." Dean grumbled. He hated being mean to Garth, but he was too tired and pissed off to do much else. He showered and lay down in bed and slept.


	4. Creep

**Thank you for all the positive feedback and such guys! It really brightens my day. The truth is, I'm totally in love with this fanfiction and I love sharing it with you. I have officially decided on making it rated M, so stay tuned for some smutty good fluffies later on in the story. I have already written about eight chapters, but I'm uploading them slowish because I have no wifi except when I'm at work, so I'm probably going to update every week night or so until it's done, and I'm not sure when that will be. (I almost want it to be never, but despite it's length, it will end sometime) Don't forget to leave a review and let me know what you think! I can't please you if I don't know what you want. Enjoy the next chapter my darlings! **

**Chapter Four: Creep**

**Castiel: **

The next day they did contemporary dance in group sessions, Dean was not in his group, thank God. Meg and Balthazar were. Meg struggled on some parts and Castiel helped coach her through them, with Mandy Moore instructing as well. Castiel felt star struck, he loved Mandy and was so pleased to be dancing to her work, he felt like he was walking on air. The group danced horribly on stage, while they were there only Castiel, Meg, Balthazar, and a few others made it through, the rest of the group was cut.

Next was ballroom. Castiel was not as lucky with this, ballroom was much more structured than anything he was used to, but he found similarities in it as well. With some help from the choreographer he succeeded, but just by the skin of his teeth. He felt his hope slipping slightly. More people were cut, there was screaming and tears and dramatic exits. Castiel gulped and hoped he wouldn't be one of them.

After ballroom was hip hop. Castiel felt like his world was going to turn black and white, like it might crumble in on him at any given second. He was a nervous wreck. He had never really done hip hop before. Of course he had always watched the show, so when Napoleon and Tabatha stepped on stage, he was once again star struck. He hoped he could wow them, prove himself, but if anything their presence here made him more nervous. The only thing that could be worse was-,

"Hey angel face!" Dean. Of. Fucking. Course. Castiel was doomed. This was it. The world hated him. He was doomed to fail. Hip hop, Dean, Nappytabs. He was done. He tried his best to struggle through the dance moves, he really did. At one point he felt like he was starting to get it, but for whatever reason Dean had decided to dance next to him, which made things exponentially worse. During the practice, Dean knocked into him on purpose, sending him flying into the ground where he got stepped on by another dancer on accident. Castiel's eyes went wide with pain as the dancer stepped on his hand. He groaned a bit and the music stopped. Tabatha knelt before him.

"Are you okay?" She asked him.

"I think my hand is . . ." Castiel held it up, it was already starting to swell. "It's not broken. I can keep dancing." He told her, speaking half to himself as well. _You can keep going. You can do this. It's just pain, it doesn't matter, this matters. _She helped him to his feet and took him over to medic who gave him ice and told him it wasn't broken, but it would bruise and hurt and he should be careful. The man gave him a look that said _You shouldn't dance, but I know you will so I won't bother telling you not to. _Castiel thanked him and walked back on stage. Dean was there, smirking. Castiel couldn't take it anymore. As soon as the group got a break, he followed Dean off into a hallway, being as silent as possible behind him. He was small and Dean was much more muscled than he was, but if he surprised Dean. . . Finally the moment was upon him, and he grabbed Dean and slammed him up against a wall, pinning him there with his forearm to Dean's throat.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!?" He screamed, Dean looked shocked. "YOU NEARLY BROKE MY HAND! ALL I HAVE DONE IS HELP YOU AND YOU NEARLY FUCKING ENDED MY CAREER ON THIS SHOW! IS THIS SO IMPORTANT TO YOU THAT YOU WOULD PHYSICALLY WOUND ANOTHER PERSON?!" He felt all his anger exploding out of him, wishing he could punch Dean without his knuckles bruising even further. He expected Dean to shout back, to shove him off, something. But instead Dean seemed to sag with guilt.

"I know. I'm sorry." he said simply.

"YOU'RE- . . . you're what?"

"I'm sorry Cas, okay? I shouldn't have done that. I was just . . . I do want to win this thing. And I thought if I could mess with you enough, you'd trip up a bit. I didn't mean to actually get you hurt. It's just that . . . you're a better dancer than me. When I saw you in Austin I was awe struck. I've never been sucked into a performance like that. And then when we were on stage you were the best out of all of us, and it was like you weren't even trying. And of course the first fucking choreographed dance we get, and it's Contemporary. It's like no one else but you will get a chance to shine." Castiel released him.

"You . . . you are mean to me because you think I'm . . . good?" Castiel asked, unable to believe his ears. Dean straightened up a bit and smiled a little, his green eyes glinting.

"I think you're the best. Which is why I'm jealous. I really wanna win man."

"But . . . but you're . . . You're incredible. You adapt to any style like you were born doing it! You have already mastered three of them! How is it that you think I'm better?!" Castiel asked. He wasn't stupid, he knew he was a good dancer, but to hear someone like Dean telling him he was the best dancer was disorienting. For a moment Castiel had to wonder if it was another trick.

"You were right, you dance to the music, you dance with passion. I dance for technique, thinking about what comes next, you just let it flow through you. It's . . . It's actually kind of amazing." Dean paused for a moment and then rubbed the back of his neck. "I tell ya what, I'm not the best at contemporary, and I can tell you're struggling with hip hop. Help me out, and I'll help you. We can work together and get into the top twenty, and we'll see where we go from there. But I won't be an ass anymore . . . I'll just . . .be myself."

"Isn't that kind of the same thing?" Castiel asked him, smiling a little. Dean grinned.

"Not always." Castiel felt a sudden urge to find out who Dean really was, behind the sob story, behind the asshole bravado. "Do we have a deal?" Dean asked him, holding out his hand. Castiel took it.

"Deal." By the time they had gone on stage to preform their hip hop routine in front of the judges, Castiel was worlds better. He felt like he could at the very least hold his own. The judges still asked him to stay back though.

"Castiel you're not very good at adapting, are you?" Castiel felt his heart pounding away in his chest. He clenched his fists.

"I am trying to learn, sir." he replied back to Nigel.

"And we can see that, which is why we're going to ask you to solo. You have one hour to prepare something and come back here ready to dance for your life." Castiel closed his eyes and swallowed hard, but he nodded. He walked off stage feeling like a dead man. Dean caught up with him and clapped him on the back.

"Hey man, if you just do your thing, there's no way they won't keep ya. I'll be in the audience, cheering you on." He told Castiel, giving him a thumbs up. "Let me know if you need any help." Castiel had almost forgotten that Dean was being nice to him now, and was temporarily almost disturbedby it. He just nodded and gave his thanks before finding a corner somewhere to practice his routine.

**Dean: **

Finally being confronted by Cas and dropping all the bullshit felt good. Dean felt lighter, he literally danced better, and so did Cas. So when Nigel called him back for a solo, Dean felt the beginnings of anger stirring within him. Cas shouldn't have to solo, he was obviously the best one here, if a little stuck in his genre at times. That was all, and he was getting past that. Cas hip hop dancing had actually been kind of awesome. Dean pictured the dorky little guy on the stage in Austin, and couldn't imagine him moving his body in that way. But no, Cas moved and grinded and did all the things a hip hop dancer was supposed to do, with some training from Dean of course. So why was he getting called back? Oh well, it wouldn't really matter, because Cas was good enough that as soon as they saw the solo, they would be blown away all over again. Dean couldn't figure out why he was so worried for his new friend, but he did actually relish the opportunity to see Cas in his zone again.

Cas came on stage and closed his eyes, drawing a deep breath. Dean bit his fingernails in the audience. The music started, and Dean recognized it right away. The song was slow, the melody dizzily working it's way over all of them like tendrils of fog snaking their way out to grip everyone. It was the acoustic version of "Creep" by Radiohead. Dean felt goosebumps rise on his arms as Cas ran across the stage and slid on his knees, his arms out, palms open to the ceiling. He then crept over, rolling and spinning before seeming to float upwards. Dean was there with him again. He felt what Cas felt. He felt isolated, alone, different. He felt that profound pain Cas seemed to pour onto the stage. Dean looked up at the judges. Mary was crying, Mandy had her mouth covering her hand, and Nigel just sat, slack jawed as he stared on in wonder.

_Way to go, angel face. _

The song came to and end and Cas walked up to the microphone. It took a moment for the judges to collect themselves.

"I'm so sorry we ever doubted you." Mary said, almost whispering, for once not screaming.

"It's . . .okay." Cas told her, smiling and trying to catch his breath. Sweat gleamed off his bare chest and seemed to sparkle in the lighting.

"That was incredible." Mandy said, seeming as breathless as Cas.

"Agreed. You are staying. Just make sure you work on adapting to other genres." Castiel nodded and thanked them and bowed off stage, people clapping all around him. He got whisked off by one of the camera men and Kat Deeley to talk about how he had been doing so far, what being called up to do a solo felt like, etc. Dean finally caught up with him and clapped his hands.

"That was incredible Cas." Cas smiled at him.

"Since when did you start calling me Cas?" He asked, quirking his head to the side in curiosity. Dean punched him lightly in the shoulder.

"Since angel face got kinda old. Come on, let's go get some food. More work tomorrow." Cas nodded and followed Dean out of the theater.

They only bickered for a moment before settling on a little diner a blocks from the hotel they were staying at. They sat down at a table, and for a moment Cas wondered if he should have invited Luci and Meg and Balthazar, but he was really too exhausted to care about manners. The waitress greeted them right away and took their drink orders, Cas settled on water with lemon and Dean followed suit.

"So you said you always pick a song with meaning . . . why did you pick 'Creep' today?" Dean asked Cas, twirling the paper wrapper for his straw around his finger. He was afraid of the answer. Cas looked up at him a little sadly.

"Hasn't everyone felt that way in their lives? Isolated? Sometimes I feel it more than others."

"I made you feel that way, didn't I?" Dean looked down at the table, unable to meet Cas's bluer than blue eyes.

"Honestly? A bit. But it was okay, I've felt it before and I'll feel it again. I picked it for what just happened, and for what happened a while ago. I picked it because I could dance to it because I will _always _feel that song. You didn't scar me for life or anything, Dean." Dean finally looked up and met Cas's eyes, he was smiling. Dean smiled back.

"Good, I'm glad." and he really was. Somehow, even after all he'd done, Cas still found it in himself to be nice to Dean, to everyone. "You really carried our group the other day man." Dean said, thinking back to the way Cas helped out everyone individually. Cas smiled.

"Well our group wouldn't have been nearly as successful without you. When you finally stuck that leap it was amazing, no one could tell you were a hip hop dancer. I had to try very hard to focus on my partner and not you on stage." Cas blushed a bit when he said that.

"My leap wouldn't have been nearly as good if you hadn't given me advice." Dean said. The waitress came back again and took their order, they both settled on cheeseburgers and fries.

"I don't normally eat this bad . . . but I'm starving." Cas explained, taking a sip of his water.

"I always eat this bad." Dean told him, grinning. "Life is too short not to soak up the grease."

"But you're a dancer . . . your body is your job, how can you eat cheeseburgers all the time and still maintain yourself?" Dean shrugged off Cas's question.

"I guess it's just one of my many natural talents." Cas laughed and Dean decided he liked the sound of his laugh, that it should happen more often. The waitress brought them their cheeseburgers and they ate in silence for a few moments, but not an uncomfortable silence. Everything was almost calming now, like it was supposed to be this way, like they had been friends all along.

"So were you from Austin?" Cas asked him. Dean shook his head no.

"Nah I'm actually from Kansas, I just went to Austin to audition. What about you?"

"I moved there after . . . some stuff with my family. I'm originally from up north, New England, but I decided to go south." Cas told him, picking up a fry and dipping it in ketchup.

"Why south? I mean I hear New England is beautiful."

"It is," Dean saw longing in Cas's eyes. "Texas is quite a change. But I needed to go away. I like it there, in Texas. Austin especially, it's great." It seemed like Cas was trying to convince himself of his words more than convince Dean. Dean just grunted, and then blurted out,

"What happened? With your family I mean? Everyone has a sob story, but I don't remember yours."

"That's because I don't have one." Cas smiled a little. "Not one to tell to the cameras anyway." Dean squinted at him a little bit.

"It sure sounds like you have one."

"I don't want the world to see that part of me." Cas said, sighing. "I'd rather just be a dancer than be a sob story. I love this show, but that is the one thing I've never understood. People aren't just judged for their talents, they are judged by how damaged they are. And I don't want people to know I'm damaged, no matter how much I am. Not like that. I'm okay with showing it through dance, but I don't want the words to leave my mouth. I don't want the pity." Dean nodded understanding.

"I only told my story because that's how you advance in this competition, but you're right. I wish we didn't have to, not like that. It feels too personal."

"It is the most personal thing that you could do." Cas looked out the window at the people passing by on the street. "Normally you don't tell someone that kind of stuff until you know them very well. Here, they ask you to spill it along with your name as if both define you." Cas looked back up at Dean and met his eyes. His gaze was sometimes startling, Dean noted. "I don't want my past to define who I am. I want to choose my own future." Dean couldn't help but agreeing with his profound words.

"So I guess you're not going to tell me?" Dean asked, popping a fry in his mouth.

"Not anytime soon," Cas responded, chuckling a little. They finished up their meals and walked back to the hotel together, side by side. When finally it was time to go to bed Dean froze. Should he shake hands? Hug him? What would Cas want? He eyed him wearily, and instead of physical contact just settled for smiling and saying,

"Alright man, I'll see you tomorrow. Let's meet up early in the theater to get some practice in." Cas smiled back and nodded.

"Sounds perfect. Goodnight."

"Night." As they parted ways, Dean couldn't help but be happy he had befriended Castiel after all. He felt a warmth for the little dude he didn't feel for many people. He hoped they would both go far in the show and would not have to part anytime soon, because Dean really wanted to hear his story.


	5. Trouble Humming Hallelujah

**Chapter Five: Trouble Humming Hallelujah**

** Castiel: **

As the week wore on, the dancing got more intense, and more people got cut. The last few days were set aside for solos, Castiel and Dean worked hard preparing them, both apart and together. Castiel had introduced Dean to Meg and Balthazar and Luci and Dean seemed to like them alright, but they kept their distance from Dean for some reason, perhaps because of what Castiel told them about the group work. Castiel didn't know much about hip hop dancing but he tried to help Dean out where he could, picking the music with him and giving him pointers on what looked best. Hip hop was so odd to him, it was so theatrical in a way he had never noticed before, especially when Dean transitioned into break dancing. Only when Dean started dancing did he realize that it was really about putting on a show. For Dean's solo they both decided upon "Trouble" by Pink. Castiel sat back and watched as Dean practiced, throwing him goofy grins from odd positions on the floor, causing Castiel to chuckle.

They were siting around practicing when Meg ran in, her face tear stained. Balthazar followed along behind her.

"What happened?" Castiel asked, getting up from his position on the floor and walking over to her.

"Luci . . . got cut." She cried. Castiel didn't think twice, he wrapped his arms around his friend and consoled her.

"Shh . . . it's okay." He let her cry into his shoulder for a few minutes, patting her reassuringly. "It's alright."

"I-it's not alright! I love him! And now . . . now how will he even look at me if I advance further?" She sobbed. Dean was suddenly there, seemingly out of nowhere.

"Meg, listen to me. . . why did you come here?" She looked up, stepping back from Castiel a bit and wiping the tears from her eyes.

"W-what do you mean?"

"Why did you come to So You Think You Can Dance?" Dean asked, crossing his arms.

"Because I love to dance."

"Great, and what happens at the end of this competition?" Dean continued.

"They . . . they pick a winner." She said, her voice shaky.

"Exactly, they pick a winner. They don't pick two winners. No matter what happened when you got here, you had to have known one of you stood a chance of losing, and the other of winning. And nothing against Luci, but he's a goddamn _tap dancer. _Now tap dancers are fine and dandy, but they rarely make it to the top twenty, let alone win. If he loves you, he'll be happy for you for making it further than him, and if he ain't happy, then he ain't worth your time." Balthazar stepped up and put a reassuring hand on Meg's shoulder.

"He's right you know. All any of us can do now is work our hardest and advance the furthest we can." Meg sniffled and wiped her tears again and nodded.

"It's time for you to focus on you Meg, you can do this and Luci will hopefully be cheering you on from the outside." Castiel told her, putting a hand to her cheek and smiling. "You're an amazing dancer, you should be happy to go further, not sad. Cheer up." Meg smiled a small little smile and nodded.

"I'm going to go work on my solo I guess." She mumbled.

"That's the spirit! We're right here for you if you need anything." Castiel said. She nodded.

"Thanks guys." She told them humbly before turning and exiting the room, Balthazar on her heels. Dean pinched the bridge of his nose after she left, closing his eyes.

"What is it?" Castiel asked him.

"This competition man. It really tares people apart."

"Don't you think he'll be happy for her?" Castiel wondered aloud, hoping that the answer would be the same thing Dean had told Meg. Dean removed his hand from his face, looking up at Castiel.

"Honestly? No. I think that Lucifer guy was a dick and he's going to completely reject her now. I just told her those nice things because if her head isn't in the game she's going to be cut." Castiel worried his lip. He couldn't decide what the right thing to do was. Was it right to lie to Meg to help her? Or would it have been better to tell her the truth, however much it would destroy her. He comforted himself by saying,

"Well I mean . . . we don't know for sure what he'll do. Maybe he will be supportive, like you said."

"Maybe." Dean said, but Castiel could tell he doubted it.

**Dean: **

Dean worked on his solo more, watching out of the corner of his eye as Cas got up and started stretching to prepare for his. He had been helping Cas just as much as Cas helped him. They were both teaching each other new techniques for each of their styles, and Dean had helped Cas pick a song, although it was mostly Cas. He decided on an acoustic version of "Hum Hallelujah" by Fall Out Boy. Dean had gotten him into the band, in between practices they'd listen to Fall Out Boy as they ate their lunches, each of them with one headphone in and their heads bent close together, discussing the competition and each song. Cas was in love with their lyrics, the emotion behind their music.

"I like this one best for right now." He said, playing it for the third time.

"Really? I had no clue!" Dean told him, sassily. "Why do you like it so much?"

"Well I just like how it sounds, I like how it seems like a man reaching to be apart of something, and then realizing that something is flawed, so he just sits back and hums hallelujah. And I also love how catchy it is." Dean took out his ear bud and looked to Cas. "What?" Cas asked, returning his gaze. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"I've just never heard someone pick apart a Fall Out Boy song like that. Most people just kind of nod their heads along to the beat but you really _listen_. It's amazing."

"Thank you Dean." Cas actually blushed a little bit. Dean smiled to himself and they both got up and started practicing. Cas was teaching Dean contemporary today, Dean stood back and watched as Cas flew across the room, and then took a deep breath and tried to do the same. Dean's solo was tomorrow, they had just gotten past the last round of choreography an hour ago. Dean noted with satisfaction that Cas was getting much better at gliding from genre to genre of dance. At the end of the day, around ten, they headed back to the hotel and Garth pulled them into another movie watching marathon. They watched 21 Jump Street this time, just for laughs. Garth cracked up at every tiny little thing, and if it were anyone else, it might've been annoying, but it was Garth, so Dean just smiled. Cas sat on his bed, they lay shoulder to shoulder, drinking beer and laughing. If he didn't advance in this competition any longer, at least he had this. He had made some great friends.

The next day Cas went before him. It was the last of his solos for Vegas Week, the last time he had a chance to prove himself to the judges. Dean could tell he was a nervous wreck. He elbowed Cas.

"Why are you freakin' out so bad man?" Cas took a break from chewing his nails to look over at Dean.

"I. . . what if I don't get it?" Dean grinned at him.

"Cas, I've already told you, you're the best dancer out there. You're going to get it." Cas just nodded at the compliment, like it was a breeze flowing over him that he hardly noticed, he was too busy wrapped up in his nerves. Dean faced him again. "Hey you know what, I learned a trick for when I was nervous, or needed to calm down or whatever. Wanna know what it is?" Cas glanced at him again, away from the stage.

"Sure. What is it?" He said too fast. Dean ignored the fact that Cas probably didn't want to talk at all, and explained,

"Close your eyes." Cas gave him a look before doing so. "Okay now breath in, slowly. As you breathe in, imagine a ball of light-, positive energy, flowing into your mouth. Good, now exhale. As you exhale imagine smoke, or negative energy flowing out. Now do this three times, and you will have calmed your heart rate and steadied your mind." Cas did it two more times and opened his eyes, smiling.

"That actually kinda worked." He seemed a little lighter as he got up to go to the stage. "Thank you Dean." He told him, breathing steadily.

"Knock em dead, angel face." Cas shook his head and grinned, walking up to the stage. When Cas preformed Dean was entranced all over again, he couldn't not follow every movement of the man. Cas's blue eyes sparkled and his muscles showed through the wife beater he wore. Fall Out Boy had never sounded better than it did right at this moment.

. . . _You are the dreamer and we are the dreams _

_I can write it better than you ever felt it_

_So hum hallelujah . . ._

During the performance Jess came and sat next to him, breaking his concentration. She smiled dazzlingly at him.

"So I guess you two made up." She whispered, gesturing towards the stage. Dean looked around and saw that everyone in the audience had the same expression that must have been plastered on his face: awe.

"Yeah, I decided not to be a dick anymore and got a great friend out of it. We're helping each other practice and stuff, he's an okay guy." Dean said, glancing back on stage as Cas whipped around and spun, kicking his leg up in a perfect arch.

"I knew it." She whispered back.

"Knew what?" Dean found himself having to literally rip his eyes from Cas.

"I knew you were a good person all along." Dean met her eyes now, there was no jest in them. She just smiled at him approvingly and put a hand on his arm.

"Good luck Dean." She hugged him and ran off to ready herself for her routine. Cas came down off stage, this time the judges gave no feedback to anyone, they simply observed and took notes.

"How . . . did I . . . do?" Cas asked, still catching his breath. Dean smiled at him.

"Top 20 for sure."

"You think so?" Cas asked, grinning.

"Positive. I'm going in a bit, I'd better head back there." Dean told him. Cas slumped gratefully into a chair in the theater.

"You're going to do great." He told Dean. Dean simply smirked back.

"I know." Cas rolled his eyes as Dean walked away.

**Castiel: **

The beat of the song started and Castiel felt as if he was electrocuted. Dean lit up, his entire body changing, responding to the song, to the theatricality of it all. Castiel had decided to sit next to Garth and Meg, Balthazar was backstage getting ready. Kevin and Jess sat together a little ways off, both smiling at the stage. Dean filled the entire room with his presence, the words and attitude of the song matching him perfectly.

_. . . I'm trouble, yeah trouble now . . . _

Dean took a risk, and threw in one of the giant leaps Castiel had taught him, as if showcasing the fact he could literally do anything. Castiel whooped and clapped his hands as Dean stuck the landing and instantly faded into krumping. Castiel marveled as Dean flew effortlessly from one style to the next, keeping everyone around him entertained as he went. There was never a boring moment. Castiel chanced a look up to the judges and saw them all grinning from ear to ear. The song finished up and Dean hopped down off the stage and came towards Castiel. Castiel stood up and Dean and he jumped up and down celebrating.

"THAT WAS AMAZING!" Castiel screamed. Meg and Garth laughed, Garth got up to pat Dean on the back.

"It was fantastico amigo." Garth said, shaking his head. Meg smiled from where she sat, still too sad for any real celebration.

"Now all we can do is wait." Castiel said, settling down into his chair. Tomorrow was it. It was the day where they found out if they made it to the top twenty or not.

The next morning Castiel awoke to Dean banging on his door. He got up quickly from the bed and ran over, throwing the door open.

"WHAT? WHAT IS IT!?" He screamed, afraid the building was burning or something.

"RESULTS DAY!" Dean screamed back excitedly. Castiel slumped.

"You . . . you scared me awake for . . . you're an asshat." But Dean just chuckled and shoved his way inside and sat on the bed as Castiel got ready. They tried to wake Balthazar but he grumbled that it was "_way too fucking early" _and while Castiel agreed with him, there was no fighting the excitement in Dean's eyes.

"Garth is going to meet us there, we're going to stop and grab breakfast for everyone and then head over. Sound cool?" Dean asked, looking at his phone screen and thumbing something into the keyboard.

"Yeah, cool. Who're you texting?" Dean looked up and put his phone in his pocket.

"No one." Castiel made a pass for the phone, mussing up Dean's hair in the process.

"Ooohh has Dean got a girlfriendddd?" He asked, laughing.

"No no no, it's my kid brother you sicko." Castiel smiled and they walked into the elevator.

"Oh yeah he went on stage with you right? At the auditions?" Castiel asked. Dean nodded.

"Yeah, he's the giant one with the flowing locks."

"He seemed cool." Castiel responded, staring off into space.

"He is. He's the best, I'd die for that kid. . .what's eatin' you man?" Dean asked, noticing the look on Castiel's face. Castiel started.

"Hm? Oh, nothing. Where are we going for breakfast?" Castiel didn't want to tell Dean the truth. Didn't want to admit that he missed some of his own brothers and sister more than he could bare, but could do nothing about it, not even text them. He tried to conceal his sigh. He wished they could be here for him, could have seen this. But the truth is, Castiel didn't know if they even knew he could dance. And he knew for damn sure that even if they did know, they would do nothing about it.

"McDonalds sound good?" Dean asked as his phone vibrated again. "I love their egg McMuffins."

"Sure." Castiel replied, smiling at Dean's obvious disdain for healthy food. "I guess we don't really have any dancing to fuel up for today anyway, and I feel like I've danced off any calories I had this week." He said, patting his stomach. Dean looked down at him.

"Well you are getting too skinny, McDonalds it is!"

When they had about ten egg McMuffins in paper bags in their hands, and each carried a drink holder with coffees and orange juices and waters, they entered the waiting room, where the remaining contestants would be called back and told if they were staying or leaving. Some would get to recite their sob stories again before going back, and some would just sit and wait anomalously. Castiel hoped he would be the anonymous kind. The camera got some footage of their little group sitting down for breakfast, Balthazar had finally graced them with his presence, Kevin and Jess sat down next to them and shared their fruit in exchange for some McDonalds, Meg came down and took a coffee and sipped at it and sat next to them somberly, and Garth came down with doughnuts. Soon they had a party of nervous dancers, throwing garbage at each other and telling funny stories, trying to get their minds off the fact that they might get called back to that room and told the worst news of their lives thus far.

They were all okay until Meg got called in. Then all the fun stopped. It was like they had been exempt from the cuts, until one of their own was picked. All morning they had watched other dancers they didn't know go back and either come out crying (as most of them did) or cheering and being surrounded in a screaming embrace with their friends. But now it was Meg's turn. The minutes ticked by, seeming to last forever. Everyone in their group looked towards the curtains, waiting. Finally, Meg came out crying.

"What?! What happened?!" Castiel asked, the first one up. Meg looked up grinning through her tears.

"I'M IN!" The entire group leaped up in the air and screamed and celebrated, she laughed as they dried her tears and hugged her. Then she was whisked away by Kat to do an interview, and then she left the theater all together. Their numbers started to dwindle. Garth didn't make it, everyone was very sad except for him. He just shook his head and shrugged it off.

"This just means I'll get to sit back and relax and watch all you wonderful people from the audience!" He said enthusiastically. Normally, Castiel would've thought of this as a lame attempt to cheer up everyone else, but with Garth it was genuine. He walked off with a smile on his face, Dean hugged him one last time before he left.

"You take care buddy." He told the stringy man.

"You too Dean. I'll be rootin' for ya!" And with that he was gone. About halfway through the day Kat pulled Dean aside to do an interview with him, asking him to tell them his story again. Dean rubbed the back of his neck as he recited it.

"Well uh . . . my dad beat my brother and I when we were little, and so I forced him out of the house with a shotgun and I took on the responsibility of taking care of my younger brother. Eventually I fell in with the wrong crowd and joined a gang, and did some prison time for it, and in prison I learned to dance, and then I got out and started working to raise money to send my little brother to school and I got free lessons at the dance studio where I worked." He told her.

"And where is your little brother now?" Kat asked him.

"He's with a friend of ours, Bobby. The guy is like a father to us, much more so than our father ever was." Kat nodded, feigning empathy.

"What does he think of you being here?"

"He is proud of me." Dean smiled. "He thinks this means I've got my life together."

"And do you? Have your life together?" She asked, pushing him.

" . . . I don't think I ever will Kat." Dean looked towards the curtains where another crying contestant was told she didn't make the cut. "I just hope that I can make it into the top twenty."

"What will you do if you don't?" She asked him.

"I guess . . . I guess I'll go back to the dance studio and pick up work where I left off. I've got to get Sammy through college."

"Is that what you'll do with the prize money, if you were to win?" Dean didn't miss a beat.

"Absolutely." He told her. Castiel listened to the entire interview, having heard bits and pieces of Dean's story before. When Kat finally released him Dean came back over to them and sat down, looking for all the world worn out. Castiel nudged him.

"It'll be okay, you'll make it." Dean smiled faintly, just a tugging of the lips really.

"I don't know man, not if I have to compete with you."

"I hope you never do." Castiel told him honestly. Balthazar got called up next, he made it in. More screaming and jumping and joy. Jess made it in, and so did Kevin. Soon all the contestants around them were gone except for a few. This was the part of the night where they pulled them in two at a time. Castiel's hands were knotted into fists. He didn't want to get pulled into that room with Dean, to be told only one of them was going to make it. He didn't think he could stand to look at Dean's face after the results, even if it was Dean that made it. Dean would look at him with such pity . . . He didn't want that. Soon it was only the two of them left. They were sore from sitting in chairs all day, Castiel stood up to stretch, and was twisting his torso around when their names were called. Both of them. At the same time.

**Dean: **

This wasn't fair. He didn't want to get cut, but going up against Cas he just knew he would. They shared a look, Cas took a deep breath to steady himself, and Dean wondered if he was imaging light going in and smoke coming out like he had told him to do.

"Look man, whatever happens, I'm still your friend." Dean told him, as if he were already accepting defeat.

"Have you been keeping count of how many guys have gotten in?" Cas asked him.

"No."

"Me neither." They both looked at the curtains and stood there for just a moment longer. Dean almost wish he could stay on this side of them, where everything was good, they were both there together, neither one had been kicked off yet. They were friends. Please, please don't let this wreck their friendship. Dean didn't realize until that moment how much he had come to value Cas. He pulled him in for a quick hug, patting him on the back.

"Let's get this over with." The walked into the room. The walls around them lit up with videos of them dancing, the hallway was dark and lit every few feet with blinding pools of white light as they walked towards the judges panel. Dean watched as Cas threw himself across the stage on the wall next to him, and then as they danced together during their group dance. He watched, for the first time, as Cas's eyes didn't leave Dean's movements even as he hoisted up Ruby, he watched Dean, and had a tiny smile playing on his lips when Dean had nailed the jump. This whole montage of them dancing was cruel, really. It just showed how hard they tried as they walked towards their doom.

"Dean, Castiel." Nigel said. "We have all been watching both of you very closely. Castiel you started out as a fantastic contemporary dancer, but you had a bit of trouble adapting to different styles, didn't you?" He asked, pointedly.

"I did sir, but I think I'm getting better at that."

"After your solo we decided to let you stay on longer. Now the time has come to decide if it was all enough." Then he shifted his attention to Dean.

"Dean you started out as a master in break dancing, krumping, and hip hop, and have seemed to breeze into all the other styles as well, but is it enough?" Dean knew the question was rhetorical but he couldn't help answering,

"I sure as hell hope so." The judges chuckled.

"Castiel . . ." The pause was too long, too dramatic, too suffocating. "You're in the top twenty!" Cas's face seemed to crumble. He looked so happy, yet so sad. Dean hugged him and congratulated him, at least glad that Cas got in, he deserved it.

"Dean why are you congratulating him? YOU'RE BOTH IN!" Mary screamed. Dean felt like the world stopped. They both made it? He looked back at Cas who was now glowing with joy, his mouth wide open and his eyes as wide as Dean had ever seen them. They hugged again, laughing and then pulled away and ran down the isle. Kat greeted them on the other side of the curtains, Dean's arm slung around Cas's shoulders, both of them caught up in a breathless sort of joy.

"CONGRATULATIONS!" Kat screamed as the camera recorded their reactions. They had done it. They were both in the top twenty.

**Obviously this fic uses a lot of songs, because I'm song crazy. At the end of the fic I'm going to post a link to my tumblr, where you can check out the full Destiel playlist I've put together (including a few I probably won't even have the space for in this fic) but know that every song I pick has special meaning, and I did put a TON of thought behind each one. They are my genre of music, which is why a lot of Dean's "Hip Hop" routines don't really make any sense (I'm not sure how easy it would be to hip hop dance to Pink or Fall Out Boy). But I want to know what you think! What songs make you think of Destiel so much your heart hurts? What do you have on your ipod just so you can play it back and have feels? Leave a review in the comments letting me know your favorite Destiel song/songs, and if I like it 1. I'll add it to my master playlist, and 2. I might use it in the fic. Once again, thank you for reading, and your incredible support. I hope I can make you happy. ^.^**


	6. Why Don't We Just Dance

**Chapter Six: Why Don't We Just Dance**

**Castiel: **

The dancers were all relocated to a large house-, more of a mansion really, where they paired up into rooms. Dean and Castiel chose to room together, it was a huge two bed room with a balcony and a large bathroom attached. When they got there Dean threw Castiel against the wall, tossed his stuff on the floor by the bed next to the window, and jumped up and down on it like an excited child.

"I call window bed!" Dean screamed. Castiel shook his head, rubbing it where it had smacked into the wall a bit.

"Okayy." Castiel mumbled, setting his stuff down on his bed.

"WE MADE IT CAS!" Castiel smiled at Dean's joy.

"So I am aware." He said. Dean jumped across to Cas's bed and jumped up and down on it. "Get off my bed you ass!" Castiel screamed laughing. Dean sat down, the bed quaking with his movement.

"Cas. We made it. We made it together!" Dean said, looking around as if every moment, everything, were a shining treasure.

"I know."

"You don't seem very excited. Why don't you seem excited?"

"I am excited, everyone expresses excitement differently."

"I think we should go out and celebrate tonight. We have a week before the show starts, let's go out on the town and party! WE'RE IN VEGAS! Party central!"

"I'm not much of a party person . . . my 'party' consists of dance and occasionally books." Dean gave Cas a look.

"Dude you are such a nerd." He mussed up Castiel's hair. "Let's go out dancing!" Dean burst out of their bedroom and ran down the hallway screaming, "WHO'S UP FOR DANCINGGGG?!" Laughter and screaming replied to him and his excitement. Castiel looked nervously at the open door. He wasn't much of a social butterfly, he never really went out, but he could feel himself getting dragged into this. Dean came back in the room and announced they were going to a country club later that night, after everyone had had some time to unpack and shower and what not. Castiel looked through his clothes, finding nothing at all suitable for a country club. He owned mostly dancers clothes, a few dressy outfits, and some more cozy ones, sweaters and the like. He stared into the contents of his closet dismally. Not even a pair of boots. Dean snuck up behind him.

"Dude you even dress like a nerd!" He exclaimed into Castiel's ear, making him jump.

"I do not!" Castiel retorted, glaring at him. Dean fingered one of his sweaters.

"Just put on a pair of your 'fancy jeans' and you can borrow one of my flannels. What size shoe do you wear?" Dean asked him, looking through his own clothes.

"Uhh . . . twelve."

"Perfect." Dean threw a pair of dark brown boots on his bed along with a blue shirt. "Look, it totally matches your eyes." He said, smirking.

"Thank you." Castiel said, removing the shoes from the bed quickly as he didn't want mud or dirt or anything on his comforter. Call him OCD, but Castiel just saw it as being practical. He could already tell that would be an issue with Dean. Dean already had clothes and random items everywhere. He had a wicked looking knife hiding under his mattress, his added "protection". Dean had garbage from food he had eaten laying around. Castiel looked at the two sides of the room. They were polar opposites. Castiel's was meticulously clean, fresh looking. While Dean's looked like he had lived here for weeks already. Castiel sighed and shook his head and gathered up his clothes to go and change in the bathroom. When he was freshened up and changed he looked in the mirror. The shirt _did _make his eyes pop. Castiel wasn't even aware Dean knew the color of his eyes, let alone how to make them pop. But they were glowing blue orbs in his skull. He blinked several times and brushed his hair, then he exited the bathroom. Dean appraised him from the other side of the room, already dressed.

"Tuck your shirt in and you're golden angel face." He said, smirking. Dean wore a red plaid shirt and tight jeans with boots. "Almost everyone else is ready to go, they're waiting downstairs."

"Alright . . . Dean I've never . . . um . . . actually _gone out_ dancing before. I only dance in a studio . . ." Dean looked like Castiel had just slapped him in the face with a fish.

"You . . . you're a dancer and you've never gone out dancing?!" He half asked, half screamed.

" . . . no." Castiel responded, looking down at the pearly buttons on his chest.

"Well. You'll learn. We'll have a great time, I promise, it's fun."

Most of the dancers loaded up in a van provided by the studio. They gave the cabbie the address Meg had looked up on her phone and arrived at a giant building with neon signs. There was a cowboy on the door with a lasso that he swung around his head. Castiel gulped. They piled inside and were admitted into a large, cool room with a raised stage in the middle and bars all around. A DJ sat in a booth in the corner, and TV screens projected the music video of whatever song was playing. Castiel had lived in Texas, but he had never actually listened to country music. They went to the bar and ordered beers, Castiel sipped his and stood quietly, awkwardly,as all the others talked. Then a new song came on and Dean's eyes lit up.

"Cas let's grab one of these lovely ladies here and go two step!"

"I don't know how!" Castiel shouted over the music. Dean just gave him another look again as he glanced up at the screen. It read "Why Don't We Just Dance – Josh Turner" The beat was fun and made Castiel want to move, but this wasn't a song he knew how to move to. Dean took the beer from Castiel and set it and his own on the bar and shoved Castiel's shoulder towards the dance floor. "What are you doing?!" Castiel asked, panicking a little bit.

"Teaching you how to two step!" Dean replied, once Castiel's clunky boots hit the hardwood of the dance floor, Dean spun him around, grabbed his hand and put his other hand on his hip. "You're the girl."

"That's not fair." Castiel said, glaring. It was bad enough Dean had to publicly humiliate him, but now he was accusing him of being feminine? Dean smiled and shrugged.

"Well you are a tad more petite than me." Here the music was louder, the beat in the floor was practically shaking the thing, Castiel could feel it through his boots. Dean started to move, leading them both. Two steps one way, one step back. It was mostly the sliding of feet, nothing too hard. Castiel was almost embarrassed he hadn't known before hand. Dean led them around the floor, making sure Castiel didn't run into anyone, and then he held up his arm for Castiel to spin. Castiel was forced into it, and returned to Dean glaring. "What? Spinning's fun!" He replied at Castiel's angry glance. Castiel saw his revenge, and held his arm out for Dean. Dean spun, no qualms about it and returned to Castiel smiling. "See? Fun." Castiel laughed and tried not to focus on his feet too much.

_Well baby why don't we just dance _

_down the halls baby straight up the stairs _

_bouncing off the walls, floating on air baby _

_baby _

_why don't we just dance? _

The song was poppy and catchy and Dean swung their joined hands along with the beat, he spun Castiel again and Castiel tried to enjoy it this time. He returned to Dean and they kept moving around the floor. Castiel didn't know where to look, staring right at Dean would make it awkward. He tried looking at the television screens, watching Josh Turner strum his guitar in the sunset. He looked at the other couples surrounding them, all in varying states of sobriety. Finally he looked up at Dean to find that Dean was already looking at him, grinning.

"Are you having fun yet?!" Dean asked. Castiel smiled and nodded.

"This is so easy, I'm amazed I haven't done it before."

"Yeah it is almost _too _easy isn't it?" Dean asked, a challenge lighting up in his eyes.

"What are you-,?"

"On my count, jump!" Dean screamed over the music. And then Dean was counting. "1 . . ."

"Dean no!" Castiel screamed, starting to get a little terrified. He had done lifts before, of course he had, he was a contemporary dancer for Christ's sake, but he was rarely the one getting lifted, especially out of the blue like this.

"2 . . ."

"But-,"

"3!" Castiel knew at this point it was better to just go along with it to avoid getting hurt. He jumped up in the air, wanting to close his eyes. Dean spun him and he flipped through the air and landed on his feet, breathless.

"That . . . no. Let's never do that again." People clapped and Dean was laughing again.

"Oh c'mon! It was fun!" The song came to an end and they broke apart, Dean led them off the dance floor and back to the bar to collect their beers where Meg, Balthazar, Jess, Kevin, and Jo were clapping.

"That was amazing!" Jess exclaimed, grabbing Kevin's hand. "C'mon short stop! Our turn!" Kevin looked shocked. He wasn't old enough yet to be drinking, he had just graduated high school and was the youngest in the competition, so he didn't have any alcohol to settle his nerves. Castiel felt bad for him, taking a large gulp of his own beer. He elbowed Meg.

"Want to dance?" He asked her, Meg just shook her head sadly. Castiel understood. "Ah. Still hurting over losing Luci?"

"Always." She said, looking forlornly off at the dance floor as Kevin nervously spun the radiant Jess around, stumbling on his own feet a couple times before getting the hang of it. The other top twenties were already on the dance floor together, doing all kinds of tricks and moving perfectly to the beat as if they were made to do this. Castiel wondered how many of them knew how to two step before tonight, from the looks of them, they had all already mastered it. Dean nudged Castiel's arm again and gestured towards some women standing not too far off. One of them was shorter, sizing the boys up as if they were pieces of meat. She wore a tight blue dress and had her hair pinned up. The other was slightly taller, and had red hair that framed her face. She wore a coral top with shorts and boots. She wasn't as bold as the other woman, wasn't sizing them up. She was meekly glancing from time to time and smiling. Dean walked over to them, gesturing for Castiel to follow. Castiel looked back at Meg who waived him on happily. "Go on! Have fun!" She told him.

"Ladies." Dean said, tipping his head politely as he neared them.

"Hello." The shorter one said, staring up at Dean without a hint of fear. "Excuse me for saying, but you're like . . . _super _attractive." Dean gave her a look of mock-horror.

"Don't objectify me!" He told her. She laughed.

"My name's Anna, this is Amie!" She said, holding out her hand.

"I'm Dean and this is Cas. Would you two lovely ladies like to dance?" He asked smoothly, after everyone shook hands.

"I'd love to!" Anna responded, allowing Dean to whisk her away.

"Sure!" Amie answered, Castiel awkwardly took her hand.

"I just learned how to do this, so forgive me if I mess up!" He told her, spinning around to face her and putting his hand on her waist. She was blushing slightly.

"I just saw you two dancing, it didn't look like you just learned!" Castiel smiled gratefully.

"Thanks! We're both dancers so I guess it was pretty easy." Castiel led them around the floor as if he'd been doing it his entire life, he felt proud of this tiny accomplishment. Really it was a two step dance, it was easy, but he felt proud nonetheless.

"What kind of dancers? Like chip and dales?" She asked, giving him an odd look. Castiel burst out laughing, realizing how his earlier words must have sounded.

"Oh God no! We both just made the top twenty on So You Think You Can Dance! I dance contemporary, he dances . . . well . . . kind of everything, mostly hip hop I believe."

"I love So You Think You Can Dance!" She responded, he spun her and when she came back to him she yelled "Congratulations on making the top twenty!" Over the music.

"Thank you!" He yelled back. Castiel looked over to where Dean and Anna were dancing. Dean smiled over at him and Castiel smiled back, actually enjoying himself. After the song was over both pairs split up and exited the floor, Castiel and Dean going back over to their beers.

"That was fun!" Dean shouted, waving at Anna from across the room as she sauntered off.

"It was, Amie was really sweet." Dean grunted.

"Anna was not sweet."

"She wasn't?" Castiel asked, eyeballing the girl who he had thought seemed nice.

"No, but in the best possible way." Dean winked at him. Castiel felt like he was blushing all of a sudden. "And she was funny, I liked her." Castiel laughed a bit and took another sip of beer.

They stayed until the bar closed, dancing with their new friends, Amie and Anna a couple more times. Anna didn't seem to want to let Dean go, and she ended up giving him her number by the end of the night. Amie was not nearly so forward, but Castiel liked her, even if it might not have been romantically and got her number anyways, maybe they could hang out some time or something . . . when he wasn't completely busy dancing . . . maybe they would never get a chance to hang out if that were the case. They walked them out out to their car and waived goodnight before getting into the van with the other competitors. Everyone looked sweaty and exhausted yet giddy, Castiel's ears buzzed from the loud music and he waited for the haze to ware off. The car was full of drunken story telling and laughter.

When they got back to the hotel, Dean raced Castiel, beating him to the shower and then crashed on his bed in only his boxers. Castiel took his time showering, and then went to sleep as well. This new life, these new friends . . . he could get used to this, he thought as he turned out the light.

**Dean: **

Fucking angel face was up at the butt crack of dawn. Dean groaned and rolled over, pulling a pillow over his face. He wasn't hung over, but it had been a late night, and he was hoping to catch up on some sleep. Cas wasn't having it though. He threw a pillow at Dean.

"Come on! Get up!" Cas screamed at him. Dean looked at his clock. It wasn't even six yet.

"You're fucking crazy," He groaned, rolling over and pulling his blankets tight around himself.

"Get up! We're not here to sleep in Dean Winchester!" Cas yelled, his voice even more gravelly than normal from having just woken up. Dean looked over. Cas was already ready, his face washed, hair combed, dancing clothes on.

"What're you doing?" Dean grumbled at him.

"_We _are going to go and practice, exercise, and then practice some more."

"Isn't exercise and practice the same thing?" Dean asked, wiping his eyes.

"Nope. Not right now it isn't." Cas said, grinning. "Let's get a move on. We've come this far together, I am not going to let you fail now." Dean tried to shut his eyes and go back to sleep, he tried even though he knew it wouldn't work, that Cas would never let him. He was right. Dear lord was he right. Ice cold water flung on his face and he shot up, his knife already in his hand, heaving air like he was a fish out of water.

"WHAT THE FUCK CAS!?"

"WAKE. UP. DEAN!" Cas screamed back, laughing a little at Dean's startled face.

"I COULD'VE STABBED YOU! YOU KNOW I SLEEP WITH A KNIFE!"

"Yes, I suppose you could've. But you didn't." Cas smirked. "Now let's go."

"Jesus Christ give me strength to-,"

"It's exercise Dean, not _ex-or-cise._" Dean grabbed a pillow off his bed and flung it at Cas.

"Fuck you dude."

"Maybe later, for now, let's get going." Cas teased. Dean was dressed and ready to go (not really, he didn't want to go) in five minutes. He glanced forlornly at his bed before he turned and walked out of the door. A few of the other dancers were already up and working out in the gym downstairs. Cas and Dean joined them for a morning warm up before heading to the studio and starting to practice. Cas said they had to be ready with solos, so they started preparing random solos, just little bits to get them moving. Dean had to fight the urge to glare at him the entire time. All he could think about was his bed, but part of him recognized that Cas was right. They hadn't come this far to sleep in. Now it was time for the real work to start.

By lunchtime his entire body was sore. They grabbed a quick, light lunch, and then went back to the gym to stretch out their abused muscles. Cas tried (and failed miserably) to teach Dean Yoga.

"It's all in the meditation Dean, focus on your breathing." He told Dean. Dean just felt silly. He stared at Cas and made funny faces at him, waiting for Cas to open his eyes and chuckle, but Cas took this crap deadly serious.

"Stop it." Cas said, not even opening his eyes.

"How do you know I'm doing anything?" Dean asked, sticking out his tongue and bulging out his eyes.

"I just do. Stop. Concentrate." Dean was exasperated. When Cas made him go into downward facing dog for the umpteenth time, Dean just collapsed on the ground and heaved out a sigh.

"Dude I am not cut out for yoga." He complained.

"It takes practice." Cas, the zen master, advised him.

"Practice my ass. I'm so done with this shit." Cas looked at him with a hint of annoyance in his eye.

"Fine, what do you propose we do about our sore muscles?" Cas snapped at him. Dean grinned. They discovered a hot tub out back and went back to the room, donned their swim trunks, and soaked in it for a while to sooth their tired bodies. A few of the other dancers saw them and soon it turned into a party, Kevin brought his speakers and hooked up some music, Balthazar provided them with beers and all the dancers were laughing and getting to know one another. There were twenty in total, besides the ones Dean already knew there was Alastair, Chuck, Benny, Adam, Alfie, Ed, Delta, Lilith, Charlie, Andrea, Eve, and Hannah. Dean's head hurt from trying to remember all their weird ass names. It was bad enough that his best friend's name was Castiel, now he had to remember Lilith and Alastair too? And what the hell was Delta even supposed to mean? He glanced over at the smallish girl wearing a slutty bikini, from the look on her face and the way she talked, she was a real witch. Dean sipped at his beer and tried to pay attention to the people he _did _know. Like Jo, for example. She was sitting next to him in a red bikini grinning and drinking a beer.

"I'm sorry about before." She told him. "It was a competition. It _is _a competition. But I just realized . . . There is such a thing as friendly competition."

"Don't sweat it, I'm just figuring that out too." Dean said, casting a glance at Cas who was chatting with Alfie.

"Yeah I can tell." Jo said, snapping Dean's attention back to her. "You two are really close now, huh?" She asked, smiling at him.

"Yeah I guess, he's a good guy, once you get to know him."

"I think he was a good guy before we got to know him too. Remember how he helped us all out, regardless of the fact we were asshats to him?" Jo asked, looking over at Cas.

"I remember. I'll never forget."

"Some people are just . . . too good you know? The kind of people that would sacrifice themselves for others, those are the people who are too good for this place. For any place. He really is like . . . like an angel." She said, tone all serious. Dean wanted to shake his head to get all the seriousness away from him, but instead he just glanced at Cas again and found his best friend's blue eyes fixed on him as well.

"Yeah, he is our little angel." Dean muttered. Cas tilted his head to the side, as if to silently ask Dean what they had been talking about. Dean just shrugged in response. "I guess that means we have to taint him somehow before this whole thing is over." Jo giggled and Cas glared.

"I'm not some innocent little girl Dean."

"No, you're not a girl." Dean responded. Laughter erupted around them and Cas punched Dean in the arm, jokingly. Except the punch hurt more than Dean would've expected. He rubbed it his arm, the pain radiating through it in waves. "Geez Cas it was a joke no need to break my freakin' arm!"

"Who's the girl now huh Dean?" Jo asked, laughing. Dean smirked.

"The guy hits harder than I would've expected, that's all!" He retorted, starting to get defensive. A cool hand on his arm stopped him. Dean looked over to see Cas sitting there, looking apologetic.

"I'm sorry Dean, I didn't mean to hurt you. I guess I just . . . don't know my own strength." How was Cas's hand cool? They were in a hot tub damn it! And his blue eyes were practically melting Dean. He felt uncomfortable all of a sudden, like Cas could see into his soul, could see what made him and where he had some damage and knit it all together. He felt like Cas could see him too well.

"It's cool man, it didn't hurt _that _bad." Dean lied. He hoped he wouldn't bruise tomorrow.

"Should I get you some ice?" Cas asked him, Jo snickered as if it were a joke, but Cas was completely serious, wanting to help Dean out.

"Nah, it's fine, really."

"Okay . . ." Cas mumbled, removing his hand from Dean's arm. Now he felt too hot, even more uncomfortable without Cas touching him. He had to get out of here, and fast. He felt like his skin was crawling, like his stomach was turning.

"I'm gonna head up stairs and take a shower, it's been a long day and tomorrow is just going to be longer, plus I'm still lagging from lack of sleep." Dean said, ruffling Cas's wet hair and making it stick up all funny. Cas gave him a genuine smile that lit up his eyes and set little crinkles in their corners..

"You sure you're not just too butt hurt over the fact that your innocent little angel just punched the shit out of you?" Jo asked him. A few of the others laughed. Dean sneered at her.

"Please. Like I even felt a thing." He pretended, getting up out of the giant hot tub and going upstairs. As he walked he tried to make sense of his weird emotions. What was wrong with him? He didn't feel as bad anymore, he had felt almost . . . nauseous before. What was happening? Was he getting sick? He thought of the way he felt when Cas looked at him, like Cas was seeing into him, like his skin had a layer of air underneath it that it had never had before, and he could just slip into and out of it at will. He leaned against the bathroom counter and looked into the mirror, into his own green eyes and freckled face. Whatever was happening to him, he hoped it stopped soon.

**A big shout out to Amie and Anna, who did actually take me to a country club and teach me how to two step, and are totally okay with me being obsessed with Supernatural and are (maybe) even as obsessed. Yes, I based part of a fanfiction off of my real life adventures. However, there was no flipping involved. Or sexual tension. Wow. Okay on to the next chapter!**


	7. Excuse Your Sins

**Chapter Seven: Excuse Your Sins**

**Castiel: **

The last week had gone too fast. It was spent with his new friends, but mostly with Dean. They woke up early every morning, exercised and practiced and then practiced some more, just like he had told Dean the first day. When they were done for the day they did yoga (Castiel started to teach Dean more, and even though he would never admit it, Dean was starting to get into it more) and sometimes they would soak in the hot tub out back. They went out for dinner a few nights with some of the gang, Meg was always with them, and Jess started hanging around more too, bringing Kevin along like the lovesick puppy he was. Benny and Adam started to befriend the duo (mostly Dean, but Castiel didn't mind) and Alfie, Balthazar, and Hannah were always around Castiel, floating around him like they expected Castiel to lead them or something. Charlie befriended practically everyone she spoke to, drawing them in with her somehow adorable nerdy behavior. Soon their morning workouts were joined by the others. Castiel was worried this would clip their focus, but it didn't. It turned out everyone was as dedicated to this as Castiel himself was.

There were a few of the dancers Castiel didn't particularly care for. He took an instant disliking to Alistair, all the more enforced one night when Alistair had had to much too drink and Castiel found him lurking in a dark hallway of the mansion, cornering Kevin. Castiel intervened, dragging Kevin into his and Dean's room and making him stay there until he felt comfortable again. They watched _Lord of the Rings _and ate popcorn with Dean. Kevin begged Castiel never to tell another soul, and Castiel begrudgingly promised, but Castiel stayed far away from Alistair from that point on, and made sure that Kevin and Dean did too. He didn't really know why he felt the need to protect Dean against him, Dean could certainly take care of himself, but something just made him feel safer when Dean was far away from the beady eyed drunk.

Ruby he had given a chance, and she had blown that chance. The girl was cold, selfish, and ruthless. She, Lilith and Alistair didn't particularly get along, but they seemed to gravitate towards each other as if they belonged together. Castiel didn't hate her, per say, he just really didn't like her.

Lilith was the leader of the trio, she was the "queen bee of evil" as Dean had called her one night while he and Castiel had been talking. Castiel couldn't help but feeling like he was in mean girls and Lilith was Regina. Once again, Castiel couldn't find it in himself to hate her, but he didn't like her. Maybe he was too much of an angel. Dean seemed perfectly capable of hating anyone he set his mind too, and here Castiel was, literally meditating on the fact that he _couldn't _hate some of these despicable people. He did hate Alistair, but only because he had tried to harm Kevin.

Castiel also found that he didn't like Delta very much either. She was snooty and rude, she rolled her eyes constantly and the way she spoke made Castiel get an instant headache. Dean called her a witch, and Castiel couldn't help but think the term was appropriate for the obnoxious little girl. She was the second youngest in the competition, Kevin being the youngest. Then there was Eve. Eve was odd. She kept to herself except for a few occasions. She hardly ever said a word, and when she did it was charming, almost too charming, as if she had rehearsed her entire life. She was off. When she was around Castiel could almost feel a chill creeping into his bones. She stayed inside her room almost the entire week. One time Castiel was passing by in the hallway and her door opened. She crept out, her white nightgown stained with red. Castiel was shocked.

"Is that . . . blood?" He asked her, gesturing to her abdomen where a smallish red splatter lay. Eve cast him a chilling smile that actually terrified him.

"No of course not silly, I was painting." She said, her voice slimy sweet. Castiel just gulped and nodded and turned and walked away quickly.

The end of the week drew nearer, and the time seemed to pass quicker. The next day was the first day of the rest of the competition. Tomorrow they would draw their partners from a hat, draw a dance style, and start practicing. Then came the camera crews, the cheesy before-dance clips, the odd pictures of the entire group jumping and smiling fake smiles with gallons of makeup painted on their faces. Castiel was excited, if only for the dance aspect of it, and quaking-in-Dean's-boots nervous for the rest. The night before their big day, Castiel and Dean both sat up in their beds talking.

"I'm terrified." Castiel confided in Dean. Dean nodded like he understood, but how could he understand? Dean was obviously confident.

"I know you are. It's going to be okay though, we just have to remember to have fun with it." Dean told him, meeting his eyes. Castiel stared back into the emerald green.

"Dean . . . have you ever been scared a day in your life?" There was a momentary pause. Dean considered the question, looked down at the floor in between their beds.

"Sure I have Cas." He said, biting at his lower lip.

"When?" Castiel asked him, feeling like he was pushing some sort of boundary, if only slightly, but not really caring that he pushed it. This was Dean, somehow all of their boundaries just melted away. It was like they shared a more profound bond. Dean let out a breath he had been holding.

"When I came home and found Sammy nearly dead on the floor. There was . . . there was so much blood . . . I had never been so afraid before . . . or since." Dean's voice was actually slightly shaky. Castiel tilted his head to one side in question.

"Not even while you were in prison?" Castiel couldn't help but asking. Dean's mouth quirked up.

"Nah, especially not in prison. I ran that bitch." Castiel laughed and Dean joined in. Castiel always treasured the moments they laughed together, more specifically the moments Dean laughed. With all the stress they were starting to undergo, those moments seemed more and more fleeting.

"I wonder who we'll get paired up with." Castiel muttered, letting his mind wonder off.

"Probably each other, I mean shit could you imagine that? We'd be damn near unstoppable!" Dean shouted, throwing his arms up in the air dramatically. Castiel threw his pillow at him so hard it knocked Dean over, Dean shot him a bewildered look as Castiel burst into laughter again. Then the look in Dean's eyes changed from bewildered to vengeful. He bounded up on the bed, jumping across to Castiel's, lifting the pillow in his hands and swinging it down on Castiel so hard there was a loud "POP!"

"OW!" Castiel screamed out. In reality it hadn't hurt _that _bad. Castiel snatched up another pillow.

"Oh it's on now Winchester!" He said, standing on his bed and swatting Dean in the side of his face. Dean fell over on Castiel's bed, this tilting the mattress causing Castiel to lose his balance and fall on top of Dean. He was just able to catch himself before smacking his face into his friend's, his hands landing on Dean's chest, Dean's hands came up to catch him, resting on his hips. For a moment they just stared at each other, their faces not more than an inch away. They air between them seemed to grow hotter, Castiel became all too aware of every place Dean's body touched his. He felt like he should do something, say something, but he was completely at a loss as to what. He was lost all over again, lost in Dean's expression. In his misty green eyes, in the tiny freckles on his face that you could only see if you were close up, in his sincerity. Then Dean grinned.

"Geeze angel face, maybe you're not so innocent after all." He snickered. Castiel could feel himself blushing.

"Oh please! You're the one that jumped into _my_ bed!" Castiel retorted. Dean responded by putting his hands back behind his head and giving Castiel a smug look.

"Uhuh. You keep makin' excuses for your sins. It's adorable, really." Castiel rolled his eyes and shoved himself off Dean, and then kicked at Dean's hip to force Dean to roll out of his bed and onto the floor, lost in a fit of "manly" giggles, as Dean called them.

They settled into bed as it was an early morning tomorrow. As Castiel fell asleep he couldn't help but think of the way it had felt to be so close to Dean earlier. It made him take a step back and rethink himself. He had never had time for romance, had never even stopped to consider if he was gay or straight or what have you. He thought about it now. Is that what this was? Or was it just a friendship? He thought of Dean in his cowboy boots and hip hop. This was just a friendship, even if Castiel felt that way about Dean (which he wasn't sure he did) Dean would never return the sentiment. Castiel went to sleep and dreamed that he was an angel and Dean was his ward, and he saved Dean time and time again. He woke up the next morning with a smile on his face, despite all the stress the day was sure to bring.

**Dean **

The next day they got dressed quietly, although Cas did have a sort of glow about him Dean had never noticed before. They loaded up into the van with the other dancers, and the van made its way over to the studio where they were going to draw their partners from a hat, and then their dance styles for that week. Dean noticed Cas was wringing his hands, looking over at the trio of evil nervously. Dean knew what he was thinking, and seconded the motion. He didn't mind getting paired up with anyone, shit, he'd even take Delta. But he didn't want to get paired up with Ruby or Lilith, and especially not Eve. He shot Cas a reassuring smile and leaned close to his ear and whispered,

"It's gonna be alright." Cas nodded and smiled nervously back. When they got there there were camera crews everywhere, Kat was off to the side, getting her already impeccable makeup touched up, and the dancers were herded in. They established a system. Five boys and five girls would pick names out of the hats. They were told Jo, Eve, Lilith, Charlie and Andrea would be picking for the girls. Cas, Balthazar, Kevin, Alfie, and Ed would pick for the boys. Eve went first. Dean watched as Cas's fists clenched. "Deep breaths." He reminded him when no one else could hear. Cas didn't look at him but nodded, eyes glued to Eve. She drew a name from the hat.

"Adam!" She called out excitedly. Adam and Eve. The poor kid looked horror struck. Dean saw the look on his face, like as he was stepping forward to greet his new dance partner he was stepping into hell.

"Big smile Adam!" Dean reminded him before the cameras could capture his poor face. Adam pasted on a smile and did the best he could to act thrilled. Next was Balthazar. He drew Jess. Kevin looked slightly dismayed at that, but Balthazar and Jess were a good pair, both slightly quirky but really nice, their heights also matched up perfectly, he would have no issues lifting her. They both looked happy at the match. Jo drew next.

"Dean!" She announced happily. Dean rushed forward and gathered her into his arms, lifting her in the air and twirling her around, they both laughed. Dean was extremely happy to have gotten Jo. He already knew her, had already formed a friendship with her. It wouldn't be acting to pretend they liked each other, because they genuinely did. Plus, he had already danced with her so he knew she was a great partner to have. Dean looked over at Cas who's color seemed to drain from him more and more, he was as pale as a ghost. Dean took Jo's hand and led her back over to stand beside his buddy. Alfie went next and picked Hannah. Lilith got Alistair (it was like they rigged it somehow, both had cat like grins on their evil faces). Kevin picked Delta, and he looked like he was okay with it, judging by the way he seemed to . . . appreciate her short skirt. And they did match up perfectly in age as well. Even though Kevin was a decent human being and Delta was . . . well, a witch. Cas was called up next. His hands were still being rung together and Dean nudged him forward and whispered,

"Relax!" One last time. He saw Cas visibly fight himself into lowering his hands, taking a deep breath, and stepping forward. He drew a piece of paper. Dean waited. A grin spread on his best friend's face.

"Meg!" Meg grinned and rushed forward and hugged him. Dean found himself smiling as well, and didn't notice until he saw Jo smiling up at him as if she knew something he didn't.

"What?" He asked her pointedly.

"Oh nothing." She responded in a sing-song tone. He rolled his eyes and decided to ignore her for the time being and focus on Cas. He and Meg walked back over to where they stood, Cas seemed much more at ease.

"See?" Dean asked him quietly. "What'd I tell ya? I knew you'd be fine." Cas normally would've swatted Dean for saying 'I told you so' but he was too happy, he just smiled up at Dean.

"Thank God." He said, putting an arm around Meg. Dean wondered for half a heart beat if there was anything romantic going on between the two of them, but pushed the thought aside. If there were, Cas would've told him. They were just friends, Dean was sure of it. The hat draw continued, Charlie picked Chuck, Ed picked Ruby (poor guy) and Andrea picked Benny. Then it was photo time, they were forced to pose with their new partners for some big cheesy photo, after that they picked their dance styles and got escorted to separate dance studios with separate camera crews and started practicing. They were told they would be doing theatrical for the group number, and would be practicing that all together later in the day. Dean and Jo picked first, so Dean didn't get to see what Cas got for his dance style. Dean let Jo grab the dance style out of the hat, and she held it up excitedly.

"Tango!" She told him. Tango. Dean had tangoed, of course, to get through to the top twenty, but it wasn't something he was necessarily comfortable with. He wished for his first week they had drawn hip hop so that would at least be one less thing to stress over, but at the same time he was excited to try new things. They entered the studio set aside just for them to find Demetri, a choreographer who had been a contestant years ago, who was famous for ripping his shirt off.

"Hello guys, welcome to the first week of the competition!" He greeted them, his words heavily accented. Dean shook his hand and thanked him, saying,

"Thanks I'm a big fan man." Demetri smiled and jumped right in.

"This dance, like so many others you will dance on the show, is a story. It is the story of a man who loves this woman, and the woman loves him back, but still refuses to be with him." Dean was instantly confused.

"If she loves him why would she refuse to be with him?" Dean asked, feeling silly when he realized he had raised his hand a bit.

"I'm glad you asked, it's because she values her self respect. He wants things from her she refuses to give him. This dance is about loving someone but choosing the importance of loving yourself more."

"Okay so . . . just so we're clear, you are talking about sex right?" Dean asked, hoping this wouldn't make it onto the reel before their dance. Demetri gave him an amused look.

"Among other things, it is the tango after all, it is going to be hot, sexy, and then sad when she rejects him at the end. Now lets get to work!"

Four hours later Dean was on the floor sweating and panting. Tango was hard work, and Demetri was a freakin' drill Sargent. He was relentless.

"Good, we'll pick it up again tomorrow. Meet here at five."

"In the afternoon?" Dean asked hopefully.

"In the morning." Demetri responded laughing. Jo laughed and sat down next to Dean where he lay on his stomach and patted him on the back.

"Good job today." He smiled up at her.

"Yeah you too. I'm glad we're partners, it's going to make this whole thing so much easier." Jo sighed dramatically.

"I suppose for you, I mean I will be carrying the both of us." She said, rolling her eyes.

"Oh yeah?" Dean responded in his best prank tone. He jumped up and lifted Jo up in his arms and ran around the studio with her, she was lost in a fit of giggles and shrieks of,

"DAMN IT DEAN PUT ME DOWN!" The door creaked open and Cas and Meg came in, smiling and sweaty. Dean placed Jo gently on the floor.

"Practicing your lifts, I see." Cas said, nodding towards Jo. Dean brushed his hands off on his pants.

"Well, I am a professional angel face, there is no such thing as a day off." Dean told him, closing his eyes and raising his eyebrows, placing his hands on his hips mockingly. Cas chuckled and Dean dropped his guise.

"What dance style did you two get anyway?"

"You'll never believe this."

"What?" Dean asked, getting slightly worried.

"Bollywood." Cas told him, smiling a little.

"Bollywood? On your first week? That's a friggen death trap! That's not fair!" Cas shrugged and Meg laughed.

"We're actually having quite a bit of fun with it. It's a fun style to learn, Meg is especially good." He said, glancing over at Meg happily.

"Well that's great then. I'm glad." Dean told him. They left the studio together to go into the large one where all the dancers practiced their group number together.

The days blurred in a flurry of photos, camera interviews, and dancing. The before dance video theme for this week was tell us about yourself in ten seconds. Dean had enjoyed filming it. His ended up something like

"Hi my name is Dean Winchester I am a hip hop dancer I love pie I can come up with a witty remark to almost anything I hate dogs I sometimes eat goober out of the jar and I have a 67 Chevy Impala that means the world to me-," Before time cut off. Dean had sounded silly, breathless, and rushed, like the other dancers but he laughed when he saw it played back. Cas and him hardly got any time together, they woke up super early, both too exhausted to speak, went to the studio to practice, went to group session, got food somewhere during the day, and then went back to the mansion and crashed. Sometimes when they got a moment they would sit together and talk about how it was going, funny stories that happened while trying to practice, and listen to Fall Out Boy some more.

The day before the first show, Cas looked like his typical nervous wreck and Dean must've spent half an hour trying to reassure him before they both settled on relaxing in the hot tub with some beers, just the two of them as the rest of the dancers were too tired and grouchy and nervous to do much socializing. As it was, Dean and Cas didn't say much. They were mostly silent as they watched the stars and sipped their beers. At one point Dean looked over to see Cas asleep, his beer sat on the ledge beside his head and his mouth hung open, his head drooped to one side and the rest of him was submerged in the bubbly water. Dean grinned and let him sleep for a bit before finally waking him up and ushering him upstairs. Tomorrow was the big day. Dean sighed, thinking that he had had enough of these "big days" to last him a lifetime.


	8. Seasons of Love

**I felt like being nice today as a reward for all your praise, (Thank you by the way) So I did a double upload. Enjoy my darlin's! Happy Friday! **

**Chapter Eight: Seasons of Love**

** Castiel: **

They all stood backstage. Castiel could hear the audience like a deafening roar. He had felt nervous plenty of times in his life, about 90% of those times were something to do with this show, but now he wasn't nervous. He was terrified. He stood with Meg, everyone was in their costumes for the opening number, a theatrical piece to Seasons of Love by the cast of the movie Rent. They were all dressed like the cast, grungy poor Chicago people. Castiel had on a beanie and fingerless gloves with a jacket. He had never danced in so many clothes before. He wasn't even thinking conscious thoughts, all he could feel was his trepidation quaking inside of him as if it were his blood, pumping through his veins and taking over his body. Then there was Dean. Dean entering his field of vision, saying something.

"What?" Castiel asked him, causing the other man to roll his eyes.

"I said we're going on soon. You doing that breathing thing I taught you?"

"No." Castiel mumbled, glancing towards the stage.

"Breathe damn it Cas. You can't keep locking up like this, how are you going to get through this show?" Castiel just shook his head, unknowing. Dean took hold of both of his shoulders, shaking him a little bit, bringing the world back into focus. "Wake up, c'mon buddy. Breathe." Castiel did as he was told, the little, tiny ball of light went in, and billows of black smoke came out. "You are going to be amazing out there." Dean told him, hugging him close. Castiel nodded, too afraid to speak for if he did, he feared he might vomit. Meg took his hand and squeezed it and smiled at him.

"Let's go gettum." Meg told him. Castiel took a deep breath, waiting for the cue. The lights blacked out, and they all took their places on stage. Then the song started, and his fear melted away.

_Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes, _

_Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred moments so dear_

_how do we measure, measure a year?_

The group rushed across the stage, flinging their bodies. They each got about a two second cameo in the middle of the stage, when it was Castiel's turn he found himself grinning from ear to ear. He really did love the meaning of this song, that a life should be measured in love. He felt love, right at that moment, watching Dean do his cameo, spinning Meg around.

_It's time now, to sing out, though the story never ends_

_let's celebrate, remember a year in the life of friends _

_remember the loveeeeeee_

Castiel rushed up and jumped into the air, kicking his legs out and lifting his arms, soaring like a bird. Applause poured over him like hot water in the shower. When the dance was over they went backstage, he was grinning still, unable to wash the smile from his face. Dean patted him on the back.

"See, it wasn't that bad right?" Dean asked him, his eyes kind. Castiel hugged him.

"Thank you Dean. I wouldn't be able to do half the things I need to if it weren't for you." Dean hugged him and patted his back before releasing him.

"No problem man, you're always here for me, it's the least I can do. We should probably both go get changed." Castiel nodded and gave Dean one last smile before disappearing off the stage. Castiel didn't get to see the other dances, he had to rush to prepare for his, Meg practicing with him in the wings of the stage before going on. Their piece was fun to dance to, Castiel had seemingly conquered his nerves once and for all, as soon as he started to feel nervous he thought of how he felt dancing to Seasons of Love and the nerves faded away. If that didn't work, he thought of Dean's warm hands on his shoulders, shaking him, his green eyes large and intent. Dean anchored him. The judges gave plenty of commentary about how much they loved their routine, talking about how amazing it was they were able to master Bollywood on their first week, there were comments about how attractive they both were, how pretty Meg was and how dazzling she looked in her costume, how handsome Castiel himself was, causing him to blush.

"Aww I think he's blushing!" Kat commented, causing him to blush further. They ran off the stage waving, Castiel leading Meg by the hand and celebrated backstage, hugging each other.

"You were amazing out there Meg."

"Likewise angel." She replied, grinning.

"Oh no, don't tell me you're starting that now too?" Castiel groaned, Meg shrugged.

"It fits, you really are like an angel Castiel."

Later that night Dean and Castiel sat in their beds, marinating in a high they got from performing.

"That was amazing." Dean said for hardly any reason at all.

"It was the best." Castiel said back. They both turned and grinned at each other.

"I could get used to this. Dancing on stage . . . with you." Dean said. Castiel felt himself blush.

"I don't know, one of these days I might get hurt."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean you're so damn distracting I can't focus on my own dance moves you ass." Castiel told him jokingly.

"Ah well, it is a price I have to pay for being this handsome." Dean retorted. Castiel chuckled and the pair slipped off to sleep.

**Dean: **

They both stood on stage with Balthazar and Adam. This was it, one of them was getting sent home. Dean chanced a glance over at Cas and saw that he looked almost . . . pleading up at the judges.

"Castiel and Dean please step forward." They did so, Cas looked at him now. His look said _no! _There was a pause.

"You are both in the top for this week, congratulations, you may now exit the stage." They both sagged with relief and power walked off stage before the judges could change their minds. In the wings they turned and shared a look before hugging each other.

"Congrats man!" Dean said, clapping him on the back as was becoming customary.

"You too Dean." Cas told him, fondness leaking through his voice.

"Get a room!" Alistair shouted from somewhere in the distance. The two broke apart, Cas looking at the ground blushing, and Dean powering up for a fight, his fists clenched.

"Get a soul!" Dean shouted back. Cas's head snapped up as Dean started to charge forward. He felt a cool hand on his shoulder and allowed himself to be pulled away by Cas.

"It's okay Dean, just ignore him. Breathe." Castiel told him, looking him deep in the eye. "He's just an assbutt, let him be miserable all by himself." Dean relaxed a bit and nodded. It was announced that Adam and Hannah got voted off. Everyone hugged them and wished them good luck and said goodbye. Hannah didn't cry, she didn't show any emotion. Adam just looked very sad. When they were gone Dean turned back to Cas.

"Let's go out tonight and celebrate!" Dean told him.

"But we have to be up early again tomorrow to start rehearsing our new routines-,"

"So? We'll just get a little less sleep. We deserve a night off. I have an idea. You said you like to read right?" Cas nodded. Dean had thought this over long and hard, and come up with this idea that Cas would love. "Let's go to a bookstore. We won't be out super late, and it'll be fun." Cas's eyes lit up with an excitement Dean had never seen before.

"Okay!"

Later when they both got home, showered, and changed they piled into a taxi, just the two of them. Cas wore a soft muted green sweater that rubbed against Dean's arm and Dean smiled fondly, clutching the notebook in his lap.

"What's the notebook for?" Cas asked him.

"You'll see Cas." Dean's leg bounced up and down. He felt like he couldn't stop breathing super fast, he felt like his face was warm, like there were butterflies in his stomach.

"Dean . . . are you . . . nervous?" Cas asked him in disbelief.

"No! What? Of course not." Dean answered all too quickly. Cas did his signature head tilt as if exclaiming the fact that he knew Dean was lying, but didn't understand what he had to be nervous about. They arrived at the bookstore and walked inside. It was a book lover's dream. A two story, shining utopia of paperbacks all fresh off the press and with that new book smell wafting through the air, mixing with the coffee and scones from the cafe. Cas seemed to be lost in his mind, and instantly started to wonder off, his mouth hanging open in awe. Dean reached out and grabbed at him, catching his hand. For a moment time stood still, and Dean just stared at their intertwined hands, feeling again like he might slip out of his skin. "Cas wait." He said, smiling nervously. "What is your favorite book?"

"That's easy, East of Eden by John Steinbeck." Dean had never heard of it. "Where is it?" Cas looked down at their hands and then seemed to inwardly shrug as he led Dean by the hand to the fiction section, and picked up a large book.

"Okay, this is what the notebook is for." Dean told him, unable to help the grin that spread across his face like butter over hot toast. Cas raised an eyebrow. "Write a note to the person who is going to read that book next telling them why you love it, and tuck it inside." Cas smiled.

"That . . . how did you come up with this?" Cas asked him, looking for all the world like he had been given a Christmas present. Dean squeezed his hand, still refusing to let go even though he felt like he might throw up.

"Cas you are a wonderful person, and sometimes you refuse to share that with the world. I thought this would be a great way to share a little bit of yourself without having to be in front of a camera." Dean picked up another copy of the book. "Plus, I've been looking for a good book to read, maybe I'll give this one a go. Why's it a good book?" Dean asked. Cas led them over to some couches and then looked down at their hands bashfully.

"Dean?" He asked.

"Yeah?"

"I'm left handed."

"Oh. Yeah. Right." Castiel smiled that wonderful smile where only one side of his mouth quirked up and when Dean released his hand he took the notepad and started to write. While Dean waited he flipped through the book and read the first couple pages. When he was done Cas held up the note for Dean to read. He had written:

_Dear future reader, _

_ I love this book for many reasons. One reason is that it's easy to read, and that is always helpful in a book. Another reason is it changed the way I viewed my life. Life isn't a preconceived destiny set out by God, life is the choices you make. You are free to choose what you will. So when you make bad decisions, you can't blame it on the nature you were born with. This book teaches us that while we were all born with a little bit of bad in us, it is up to us to choose to be good. Choose the right thing, and your freedom can give you wings. _

_Enjoy,_

_~ Angel Face _

"Dang, it's that good huh, Angel Face?" Dean asked him. Cas grinned and hugged the book to his chest.

"It is the best." Dean decided right then he would have to buy the book and read it. Cas tucked the note into the front of the book and put it back on the shelf. "What about you Dean, what's your favorite book?" Cas asked him. Dean did his best to look as serious as possible.

"Twilight." He responded, deadpanned. Cas only looked horrified for a second before realizing Dean was joking and he started to crack up. When he was done he wiped at his eyes, wiping away tears that had formed from him laughing.

"No but really though, what is your favorite book?" Dean looked around the shelves, wondering. What was his favorite book? He hadn't read much, really, that was always Sammy.

"There was this one series I got kind of into back in the day, I think it's over now though . . . the author died or something."

"What was it called?"

"Supernatural, by Carver Edlund."

"I read those!" Cas replied, sounding enthusiastic.

"No way! You read them too?" Cas nodded.

"Yeah right up until the end, they were great. Maybe we should leave a note in them too . . ."

"Nah, those readers already have to suffer enough without having to read my terrible hand writing. How about we just look around for now?" Cas laughed in agreement and they wondered around the bookshelves for what seemed like eons. By the end of the trip, Cas had a whole armful of books.

"You want help carrying those?" Dean asked him, still with his one copy of East of Eden. Cas threw him a mock look of surprise.

"Why, Dean Winchester, are you offerin' to help carry my books?" Cas asked him in his best southern bell impersonation. Dean rolled his eyes and grabbed some books out of Cas's hand.

"Don't get used to it Angel Face." They bought the books, and went home, both settling down in bed and reading. Cas wore reading glasses, which made him look more nerdy and impossibly more endearing than he already did. Dean smiled over at him before continuing to read his new book. As the clutches of sleep started to wrap around Dean, a low voice broke through.

"Dean?" Cas inquired.

"Yeah?"

"Thank you for tonight." Cas mumbled happily.

"You're welcome Cas." Dean fell asleep feeling comfortable-, no, downright cozy, like he was wrapped up in one of Cas's sweaters.

**Yes, Adam got voted off first week. BECAUSE HE'S GONE AND NO ONE CARES. So on a real note though, East of Eden is my favorite book of all time. I was thinking about what book Cas would love, and I started to go through the list of books I know and . . . of course my favorite popped into my head. And then I thought about why it was my favorite, and it sounded so much like season 4/5 Cas, choosing team free will and deciding to stab destiny, right in the face, and I couldn't help but making it Cas's favorite book too. If you haven't read it yet, you should for sure give it a go. :) And again, thank you for all your wonderful reviews, it's just getting to the good stuff, so stay tuned! **


	9. Iris

**Chapter Nine: Iris **

**Castiel: **

Simply put, Castiel was freaking out. After the bookstore, holding Dean's hand and sharing with him a little chunk of his soul, Castiel felt affection for Dean greater than that he would deem appropriate for a friendship. He had suspected he had these emotions before, had questioned it earlier on in that day when he had used Dean as an anchor. Really, he felt blind now. He had been . . . extra affectionate towards Dean from day one. Even when Dean was being mean to him, he was drawn towards the man. Castiel woke up early that morning and lay in bed and wondered what to do. He stared up at the ceiling, tracing patterns there. Maybe he could just . . . ignore his emotions until after the competition was over, then he would never have to see Dean again. The thought made Castiel's organs feel like they were folding in on themselves. He couldn't never see Dean again, and as for ignoring his feelings forever . . .

Just then Dean came out of the bathroom wrapped up in only a towel, water dripping off his toned body, tooth brush sticking out of his mouth.

"Hah yoo sheen mah reh shhhurt?" Dean babbled around his toothbrush.

"It's in the dresser, second drawer down,to the left side." Castiel told him, trying not to notice the tan of his skin, how smooth it looked, how he was coated in freckles everywhere. Yeah, ignoring this overwhelming emotion was not going to be easy. But it wasn't just in the way Dean looked, although Castiel obviously appreciated that. It was in everything. In his words, when he reassured Castiel or told him how in awe he was of his dancing. It was his attitude about life, he took it one step at a time, laughing as he went, seeing each obstacle and facing it with a bullheaded determination. It was Dean's soul. Castiel had met many people in his life, but he had never met someone who shined as bright as Dean. Castiel sighed as he got out of bed. What was he going to do? The thought that Dean would ever return his sentiments was way out of the question. Dean, cowboy boot wearing, girl flirting Dean was most certainly not gay. Dean emerged from the bathroom fully dressed.

"Does this color make my eyes pop?" He asked, gesturing to his red shirt. Nope. Not gay.

"Anything makes your eyes pop Dean, they're literally fanfiction green." Dean quirked his head to the side, as if he were picking it up from Castiel himself.

"What is fanfiction?" Dean asked, toweling off his hair.

"Never mind. Your eyes look fine." Castiel got ready for the day trying to ignore his depraved heart. Today they were to pick a new dance style and start practicing for both their assigned routine and the next group dance.

When the time came to pick out of the hat, Castiel got hip hop. He stared forlornly at the piece of paper in his hands and glanced up at Dean, who gave him a thumbs up. Dean picked ballroom and then looked at his own paper forlornly, Castiel threw him a mocking thumbs up and Dean stuck out his tongue. Castiel and Meg entered their assigned studio to find Napoleon and Tabatha waiting for them. Castiel almost fainted; he had met them before of course, but he hadn't gotten them all to himself, they were working on a huge group number at the time. Castiel grinned nervously, shaking their hands and telling them what a big fan he was.

"Well we're a big fan of you too!" Tabatha told him. Castiel thought it was a wonder he was still managing to stand, his legs felt like jelly.

"Y-you're . . . a fan of . . . me?" Castiel asked. Napoleon nodded.

"Sure, you're an incredible dancer. We're excited to get to work with you! And you too Meg, we loved your solo at Vegas week!" Napoleon shook Meg's hand and Meg smiled politely.

"Thank you." Her voice rang daintily like a bell.

"Okay, let's get down to business. This routine is about a pizza man. He is delivering this pizza to this girl-, this babysitter, he knocks on the door and realizes she's beautiful, and he decides he has to do whatever is in his power to get her, so he tries to woo her."

"It's going to be a lot of hard work, but if we do it right, it should also be a lot of fun." Napoleon said. Castiel nodded, ready for the challenge. "There's also going to be some props." Napoleon gestured towards a door in the center of the room. "You might recognize it from the 'Mercy' routine with Twitch." Castiel nodded eagerly.

"Of course, I loved that routine."

"Well this isn't that routine, it's going to be used much differently. And you're going to be carrying a pizza and also working with a hat, Castiel."

"I've never done much work with props before."

"It'll be easy." Tabatha told him. "Once you get the hang of it."

The entire practice session left Castiel feeling exhausted and slightly stupid. He was not getting the hang of hip hop very well. He hadn't worked on it much since Vegas week. The issue was that he kept doubting himself. He would go and do this move and feel like he looked so stupid doing it, that he ended up looking stupid doing it. It was like speaking french, if you doubted yourself, you sounded ridiculous. Plus Castiel had never been great with the acting aspect of dance, and he'd never worked with props before. He sat on a bench with his head in his hands, waiting for the group practice to start. Meg sat next to him and rubbed his back reassuringly.

"It's going to be okay, it was only the first day of practice, and you weren't nearly as bad as you think you were." She told him soothingly. Dean and Jo walked up.

"What's up with him?" Dean asked Meg, worry staining his voice.

"Hip hop's got him down." She responded. Dean knelt in front of Castiel on the floor and looked up at him with his wonderful luminous eyes.

"Hey," Castiel didn't look up. "Hey!" Dean said again, putting a hand on Castiel's knee. Castiel looked up now. "We'll work on it okay? You'll practice every day, we'll do group practice, and then me and you will work on it in our down time."

"Dean, what down time?"

"We have a few hours a night."

"But . . . You have things to do as well . . ." Castiel felt guilty. Dean was willing to give up what little free time he had for him.

"I don't have much, nothing is as important as this okay buddy? We'll make it, you'll see. Now smile! Have fun!" Castiel tried a smile out on his mouth, but the truth was, besides being dismayed about hip hop, he was staring at this man that he was utterly in love with that would never return his affections. He felt like curling up in a ball somewhere and crying. No, he couldn't do that. That would be weak of him. Castiel had gotten through more in his life than this. He had done harder things, and he would do harder things again. He could get through this. He stood up and all together the dancers filed into the group dance studio.

**Dean: **

That afternoon he was exhausted. But every time he thought of his bed, he thought of Cas's face in his hands, his shoulders slumped. Cas had helped him out when he didn't deserve it, it was the least Dean could do to help Cas out in return. Plus . . . he was starting to come to grips with himself. In all honesty, since that night in the hot tub he had felt like maybe he . . . well shit, maybe he liked Cas. Like in more than a brotherly way. He and Cas went out for a quick bite to eat and then went back to the studio.

"Okay so you need to stop doubting yourself, that's number one." Dean told him, after watching what Cas remembered from his routine.

"That's just so hard . . . I feel ridiculous." He groaned.

"You don't look ridiculous unless you feel ridiculous." Dean told him. Meg had gone home, so Dean was the girl in this practice session. He moved in close to Cas. "Alright pizza man, woo me." Dean ordered. The door was used as the constant median, Cas was to dance mostly on one side, and Meg was to dance mostly on the other, but they did cross in and out a couple times in the dance. In the part Dean was practicing with Cas, they were inside. Meg was supposed to be grinding against Castiel, and Castiel was supposed to be grinding back, his hands up in the air, his legs parted. But every time Cas went to do the move, he lost confidence. Dean popped his butt out and started to move to the song. He could feel Cas flustering behind him. "C'mon Cas, just lose yourself in the song. Act like you've had four beers and you don't care what people think of you." Slowly, Cas started to improve. Dean had to admit, he liked being this close to Cas, dancing on him alone where no one could see that Cas blushed as he went, moved like an awkward little librarian. "Okay . . . better . . ." Dean told him. "Let's do it one more time and then we'll move on. Remember, I'm the sexiest babysitter you've ever seen." Cas laughed at him.

"You'd make an awful babysitter."

"Not true! I'm great with kids!"

"You are totally neglecting them in favor of grinding on your local pizza man." Cas told him, a twinkle in his eyes.

"Well that's because they're imaginary, isn't it? Now shut up and give me your pizza, man." Dean smirked at him. Cas face-palmed.

"You didn't . . ."

"I totally did." Dean started grinding. "Mmm Cas I want your bread stick." Dean moaned in his best high pitched girl's voice. Cas froze in place, staring at Dean in horror with his mouth wide open.

"That's inappropriate." He said, his eyes bulging. Dean winked back at him.

"Then let's be inappropriate." Dean started gyrating his hips to the song. "Now grind me, angel face." Cas finally complied, and finally he got the move down, despite Dean's awful vulgarity, or maybe because of Dean's awful vulgarity. When Cas had advanced his hip hop skills a little bit, they called it a night and started to go home. "You are getting way better at hip hop. But to be honest, it would probably help if you finally shared your sob story this week on the reels." Dean told him. Cas's lips thinned out to a straight line.

"No. No way." He responded.

"I don't get you sometimes man. Why don't you just let the world know who you are? What are you afraid of? You're a great person! You have no reason to fear! Dean told him forcefully, slightly upset at the fact Cas refused to tell his story.

"It . . . Dean, it's complicated. You know I'm not good with words." Cas stuttered, looking genuinely afraid. A thought bloomed in Dean's mind.

"No, you're not are you? But you're good with dance. Explain to me why you won't tell your story through dance Cas. I challenge you." Cas thought for a moment and then nodded.

"I accept."

The next day, a few hours after practice, Cas texted Dean telling him to come back to the studio. Dean rushed over, finally about to understand his best friend. When he walked in the lights were dimmed, a bluish purple with little white circles projecting all over the floors and walls. Cas stood in the middle in a suit. Dean instantly felt under-dressed in his jeans and boots, with a loose fitting gray shirt. He gestured to his clothes.

"Why didn't you tell me this was a formal occasion?" Dean asked. Cas smiled, his eyes crinkling around the edges.

"You're good just the way you are. Plus, I wanted it to be a surprise." Dean had to admit, Cas looked damn good in a suit. It hugged his body perfectly, showing him off. His eyes practically glowed, his hair was combed back instead of all mussed up like it normally was, and his wonderful pink lips were parted slightly, he ran his tongue across them nervously. Dean didn't think he could recall a time when Cas had been nervous in front of him.

"How are you gonna dance in that?" Dean asked him. Cas smiled slyly.

"I'm not going to dance."

"But-,"

"_We _are going to dance." Cas walked over to the corner where his iPod was plugged into the sound system and pressed play, then he crossed the room and held out his hand. Dean took it and Cas placed his own on Dean's hip. "You can be the girl." Dean rolled his eyes and tried to ignore the way his breath hitched when Cas's hand touched his. The way his stomach seemed to roll as Cas started to lead, gliding them across the floor.

"The GooGoo Dolls? Really?" Dean asked as Iris started up.

"Shut up and listen to the words." Cas said smiling. They waltzed, both of them falling into a natural pattern. It was odd how good they were at this, Dean had come to this competition having never Waltzed a day in his life, now this slow simple movement of his body felt like second nature. Maybe it was the fact that he had done it a few times since being here, maybe it was just that with Cas, he didn't have to think about how to move or what to say, he just . . . did.

_I don't want the world to see me _

_cus I don't think that they'd understand_

_when everything's made to be broken _

_I just want you to know who I am_

"I grew up in a large family," Cas started, "Our mother died giving birth to my younger sibling, Anna. Our father left soon after that, leaving my older brothers Raphael and Gabriel to care for Anna, and Uriel and I. Raph was fourteen, and Gabe was twelve. They both got jobs, pretending to be older than they were, but eventually they got sick of it too. Gabe left first, saying it shouldn't have to be his responsibility to raise three snot nosed babies. When he was gone there was no one to protect me from Uriel, who constantly picked on me and beat me just for fun. Then, six months later, Raph left. He decided he couldn't do it on his own I guess, he joined the military.

Later, CPS came by and found Anna and I locked in a closet We hadn't eaten for days. Uriel was in the living room reading a book and eating the last pop-tart. We were placed in foster care. Uriel was seven, I was five, Anna was three. I never saw them again, except for one time . . . I moved from foster house to foster house, dodging abuse and drunks and drug addicts. Eventually I ran away, got out of the system. I became homeless and survived on the streets when I was fifteen. I was homeless for a year, a month after I turned sixteen I was digging through the garbage outside of a restaurant when a woman came out. Her husband owned the restaurant and she owned the dance studio next door. She gave me aj ob at the restaurant and let me live in the small apartment above it for free. Later I became interested in the dance studio and she let me help out there as well and gave me lessons.

Eventually I decided to move, I had seen Uriel on the streets and the encounter had shaken me. I moved to Texas and pursued a career in dance. I became an instructor and continued to take lessons and work at a bookstore on the side. I lived alone and unattached for ten years, and then I auditioned for So You Think You Can Dance. And that brings you up to speed." Dean didn't know what to say. Were there even words to say? He just gaped as the song came to a close, Cas stalling their movement before continuing. "I've never had friends, really. I mean I've had acquaintances, but never real friends. You are my only real friend Dean. I guess that's why I told you all of this . . . I've never told anyone else before. I . . . I don't want the world to see me, because I hate pity. I know you won't pity me, not like that. I don't care what other people think of me Dean, because those people don't matter to me. I just want _you _to know who I am. I don't want to become my sob story, not to anyone." Cas's voice choked on the last few words and he looked up at him through his lashes.

Dean's breath was stolen right out of his lungs. He didn't think, didn't wonder what he was doing, what the consequences were, he just put a hand up to the side of Cas's face and stroked his cheekbone with his thumb. Here was this wonderful, sweet, hurt man, spilling out his entire life story just for Dean. It was a secret only Dean was allowed to know, and Dean felt like it was the greatest gift ever given. Because it wasn't just a story. It was Cas. It was all of his history he had never told another living person. It was his background that no one else would ever know. It was his trust.

"Cas . . ." Dean didn't even know why he said it, didn't know what he intended to say after it. He just needed to say the name, to feel it on his lips.

"Dean." Cas responded, his voice low and husky. Dean leaned forward and pressed his lips to his best friend's. It was meant to be a soft, gentle kiss. It didn't end up that way. At first Dean was worried Cas wouldn't kiss him back, would push him away. But Cas didn't, he brought up his hands to Dean's shirt and pulled him closer. Dean wrapped his free arm around Cas's waist, holding him tight as if Cas were made of glass, and if Dean let go he would shatter. Dean deepened the kiss instantly, pushing his tongue in Cas's mouth, and Cas actually letting him. They seemed to mold into one person, their bodies lining up perfectly.

Dean felt a sense of urgency wash over him, like if he pulled away from Cas, he would suddenly have to deal with things. With the new definition of their relationship, if there would still be a relationship after this, or if he had just lost his friend, how they would move forward in the competition if Cas decided he could still be his friend, or how they would move forward in the competition if . . . if Cas decided he could no longer be his friend. Dean's heart started to ache at the thought, and he decided, no. He would just like to forget all that stuff for a few moments and kiss Cas, get lost in him, the feel of the stubble that rubbed up against his face, the way he tasted. He kissed him like he would never get to kiss him again. Dean didn't even realize he was walking Cas backwards towards a wall until Cas bumped gently against it, and Dean moved the hand that had been around Cas's waist to press it to the wall next to his face. They had to break apart to catch their breath, Dean had tried to kiss him as long as possible, but everyone had to breathe. Dean leaned his forehead against Cas's and kept his eyes closed, not wanting to see Cas's realization, his rejection.

"What . . . ?" Cas panted. Dean kissed his lips again, having decided he didn't want to hear it just yet. Somewhere in his mind he wondered if this qualified as rape, but he realized Cas was kissing him back, so surely it couldn't be? Cas moved his lips against Dean's as if, at least for this moment, he was starving for the same thing Dean was. Cas pulled away. Here it came. The slap, the storm off, the 'I never want to see you again except we share a room . . . shit.' "Dean . . . what is this?" Finally, it could be put off no longer. Dean opened his eyes and looked into Cas's blue ones.

"I'm sorry . . ." He whispered, his voice failing him. Cas put a hand up to Dean's face, and hope started to surge through Dean, no matter how he tried to suppress it.

"Sorry for what . . .?"

"I kind of just . . . made out with you." He admitted, as if Cas wasn't aware. Then, Cas shocked him, _Cas _surged forward and kissed Dean again, pulling him closer by placing a hand on the back of his neck.

"And why should you be sorry for that? I believe I kissed you back." Cas asked him, smiling against Dean's lips.

". . . you mean . . .?" Dean felt like a child on Christmas day, told he could finally go downstairs and open up his presents.

"I mean I think I've been wanting to kiss you since I saw your audition, I just didn't know it for a while." Dean let the words sink in, but somehow he couldn't believe them right away. Dean lifted Cas up off the wall and spun him around, Cas looked a little shocked at first and then a laugh burbled out of his kiss-swollen lips.

"Cas!" Dean almost yelled, setting Cas down dizzily and kissing him on his forehead. "Cas I . . ." Dean found himself chuckling. "I don't even know what to say. I just . . . I'm happy." He kissed Cas again, a quick touch of the lips. Cas smiled the most genuine smile Dean had ever seen, and Dean felt like it was a gift made specially for him.

"I am too Dean . . . I didn't think in a million years you would . . . return my affections."

"Mmm baby you know I love it when you talk dirty." Dean whispered against Cas's ear. Cas shivered a bit.

"Dean I . . . I've never done this before. Any of it. Relationships . . . kissing . . . much less . . . _you know _. . . I just hope it doesn't bother you if I want to take it slow." Dean wanting to spin Cas again, but he restrained himself. He wanted to two step, to move, to glide across the floor with his favorite person in the universe.

"Cas, I'm in this for you, and nothing else. I don't care if it take a billion years for you to decide you're ready to hold my hand. And for the record, for your first kiss, you're kind of incredible." Dean winked. Cas reached out and threaded their fingers together,bringing their hands up and looking at them.

"I think I can manage holding hands." He said, looking back up at Dean. Dean kissed the back of Cas's hand.

"Good, because I like holding your hand." Dean kissed Cas again. "And I like kissing you. And I like you."

"I like you too." Cas mumbled, kissing Dean again before they both decided to leave the studio and head home, holding hands until they got to the door.


	10. Dreaming

**Chapter Ten: Dreaming**

**Castiel: **

The next day Castiel woke up, and a sudden dread filled him. It had been a dream, all of it was a dream, he worried. It was much too good to be true, too good to happen to him. It couldn't be real. But then there was Dean, already up and changing his shirt and grinning at Castiel and leaning over his bed to kiss him sweetly on the forehead.

"Morning angel face." He told Castiel. So it hadn't been a dream then? Only then did the horror leave Castiel's body, and joy replaced it.

"Morning." Castiel replied sleepily, stretching his hands over his head and feeling at complete peace with the world.

"You should probably get up and get ready, you slept in." Dean told him. He nodded and got out of bed, letting his feet touch the cold floor, sending a shudder up his spine. He got ready as fast as possible, but truth be told, he was lost in a haze of slow, lazy happiness. Dean fluttered around him, getting himself ready, and then when he was done, helping Castiel get ready and then ushering him out the door and into the car. When they got to the studio Castiel did much better at practice, Tabitha commented on it frequently. Meg was smiling at him every chance she got as they danced.

"See? I told you you'd get the hang of it." Castiel smiled and nodded and thanked everyone for their support and praise. By the end of practice he was worn out and sweaty, but he felt triumphant. They moved to group practice. The dance this week was a face paced number to "Dreaming" by Smallpools. It was supposed to be about this group of people who found themselves in the Apocalypse and had to survive. A few number of them got to be zombies, affected by the virus that had spread and wiped out the population. They were all chosen for different roles. Dean was the leader of the humans, Castiel got the honor of being his right hand man. Meg, Alastair, Balthazar, Ed, Jess, Lilith, and Andrea, Delta and Ruby were the zombies, Kevin Chuck, Benny, Alfie, Jo, Delta, Charlie, Eve were on team human with Dean and Castiel. The routine was very fun to do, they would all be heavily costumed and Castiel found he enjoyed the message of the piece, that even when the world is ending, the had to retain hope.

After group practice Dean and Castiel decided to go to the studio and practice more on their own, only this time the dynamic was different between them. Before, they had both restrained themselves, both afraid that the other person would never return their feelings. Now as they danced, the sexual tension that was supposed to be present during the song was overwhelming, almost drowning Castiel. He really did feel like the pizza man now, wanting to reach out and grab Dean and pull him in for a scorching kiss. He felt his character's emotions. When the door got slammed in his face he was annoyed, wanting to see Dean's green eyes and his dimples right away. When Dean gave into him he felt as if he had won some great trophy. At one point Castiel surprised himself by actually growling in frustration. Suddenly the dance melted away and all he could think about were Dean's lips, and how much he wanted them on his own. He lurched towards Dean.

"Hey, where does that move-," Dean started, his head still in the game, Castiel practically tackled him and their lips collided again. "OOF!" Dean had the air knocked out of him as Castiel launched into him, grabbing fist fulls of Dean's shirt and yanking Dean towards him, slamming their lips together. Castiel kissed him hungrily, and only then did he realize he had been waiting all day to do so. Dean brought his hands up, cupping Castiel's face. For all Castiel's urgency, Dean was still soft and slow, kissing him lovingly, as if he had waited all his life to kiss Castiel like this. Castiel pulled back, breathing heavily.

"Sorry . . . I just couldn't . . . I needed you . . ." Dean laughed a little bit.

"It's okay. But we really should focus on your dance moves . . . I mean don't get me wrong, all the frustration is hot. But . . ."

"Well if you don't want to kiss me, you could have just said." Castiel retorted snarkily. Dean grabbed Castiel by his chin and tipped it up so he could press a loving soft kiss to Castiel's mouth.

"I will always want to kiss you angel." Dean promised him quietly.

"Always?" Castiel asked, looking up at Dean sheepishly. He didn't know what caused him to ask the question, he just felt like he had to be reassured for some reason. Dean kissed him again, this time holding on to Castiel's hips before pulling away a bit and whispering in his ear.

"For as long as I can dance, my heart will dance for you." Castiel was breath taken. He had never thought he would have someone in his life who would love him so quickly, so completely.

"That was so cheesy." Was all the response he could muster. Dean snorted.

"You loved it."

"I did. How do you know me so well already Dean?" Dean sat down and pulled Castiel along, he landed halfishly in Dean's lap.

"Alright, get ready for more cheesiness angel. But I believe in reincarnation. I believe that in past lives, we meet people, souls that stick with us in all of our cycles. Do you ever meet someone and think . . . 'wow, I feel like I know them already'?" Castiel nodded, wondering where Dean was going with this. "Well I felt like that and more when I met you."

"What do you mean?" The question spilled forth from Castiel's lips. With Dean everything was so easy, he wasn't second guessing every word he said. He simply said what he thought and knew Dean would accept him for it.

"Well, there are some people you have just known before. And then there are soul mates. People who contain the other half of you. When I saw you dancing on that stage in Austin . . . I think I knew right then. I think I was already in love with you. I think when I saw you dancing, I saw my heart unleashed on a stage and wearing a human body."

There were no words for what Castiel felt right at that moment. Was it awe? But no, it was stronger than that. Was it love? No, it was more powerful than that.

"Kiss me Dean." and so Dean did, and Castiel once again marveled at how well they fit together, like two puzzle pieces, like two halves of a heart. Warmth spread throughout Castiel, the kind of warmth of a hot shower that reminds you that you are cold, even when you didn't know you were before. Castiel realized his entire life had been cold. In black and white. His entire life had been nothing, and then he met Dean, and it was all in color. Dean pulled back.

"Are we . . . are we moving too fast? Because we can go slower if you . . ." Castiel ran a hand through the other man's sandy blond hair.

"I'll let you know when I feel like it's too fast." Castiel told him, leaning forward to kiss Dean again. "For now, this is perfect." They didn't practice dance anymore that night. They simply lay on the floor in their soft embrace until finally, they decided it was time to go home.

**Dean: **

It made perfect sense to Dean why they had agreed, unspoken, not to tell anyone they were dating. The first reason was the reaction. Dean himself cared only slightly if people knew he was gay. Really, he didn't even consider himself gay, just in love. He had never liked another guy like this before. Maybe he was only angelsexual, not gay. Whatever the case, he loved Cas, even though they hadn't officially said "I love you" . . . it had only been two days, and Cas wanted to take it slow. Dean was fine with slow. Dean needed slow in his life. For now he was contented just to wake up in the mornings and get to watch Cas slowly come to consciousness in the silver morning light. He was happy to share that smile with him, the one that said they shared a secret. He was ecstatic to kiss him where no one could see, and think of kissing him when he was away from him. Dean was truly happy, more happy than he had ever been. Another reason they decided not to tell anyone was the competition. Sure, it didn't effect anyone now, but if the public knew they were dating it would hugely effect their votes, and Dean didn't know if that would be for better or for worse (though he had a theory for better) and if that happened, all the other contestants would be upset at the unfair advantage. It had nothing to do with dance, and everything to do with who they were, and if Cas wasn't comfortable sharing his story with the world, Dean doubted he would be comfortable sharing this. _Their_ story.

The week went on in a blur of practicing, sore muscles, and soft kisses. Dean wished they had more time together, wished they could be like a normal couple and go on dates all the time and hold hands and make out, but they couldn't, and they both knew it. For now their version of dates were dance practices. They would go alone together at the studio and practice both dance styles. Cas helped him a little with Ballroom, even though it wasn't Cas's specialty, he seemed to grasp it better than Dean. And Dean helped Cas with his pizza man routine. Dean had to admit he liked that much better, the routine was inspired, hilarious and sexy all in one. He was almost jealous he wouldn't get to dance it for real, on the stage. But then he looked at Cas, trying his hardest not to fall over when he dropped it low, and realized he'd rather watch Cas dance it anyway.

They had just gotten home one night, silly happy from their time together, both laughing as they opened the door. Team evil was sitting on the couch watching some horror movie about ripping people apart.

"Fagots." Alistair said, as if in greeting. Dean didn't care much himself, he didn't like the word, had hated it ever since he discovered it. To Dean it was the equivalent to being racist. It was disgusting. But he wasn't about to get his knickers in a twist over it. However, as soon as he saw the hurt look in Cas's eyes, he was pissed off.

"Shut the fuck up asshat." Dean growled, moving towards Alistair. They had found themselves in this exact position before, Alistair taunting them, Dean moving to hurt him, Cas holding him back, as he did now. Dean knew he could push through Cas and beat the crap out of the leach sitting in front of him, but he let Cas hold him back.

"Aww did the wittle man get angry?" Alistair asked, chuckling darkly. He nudged Ruby with an elbow. "Did you hear that Rube? I made the little homo mad." Dean was seeing red as Cas looked down at the ground as if in defeat.

"Dean let's go upstairs." Cas begged him.

"Yeah, run back to your bedroom. But this time when you fuck, can you be more quiet about it?"

"Why you sonofabitch . . ." Dean's fists were clenched, every muscle tense and ready to pounce. Cas pulled on his arm and he looked down at him, at his pleading eyes.

"No Dean. Let's just ignore them and go upstairs."

"Cas . . ."

"They day they are actually worth beating up is the day I'll let you." Cas told him, casting a nasty glance over at team evil. "For now, they are bottom feeders who aren't worth getting in trouble over. Remember why you're here. Remember your brother. You belong here, much more than they do. And soon America will see that and vote them off. One by one they will fall, and go back to their homes, their tails between their legs like the low, scum of the earth that they are. For now though, they aren't worth it." Dean could feel himself smiling, and could feel how much he wanted to kiss Cas. He cast a glance back over to team evil. Lilith was glaring, Ruby just raised her eyebrow and gave them a look. Alistair was fuming. Dean realized Cas's words did so much more than Dean's fists ever could. Alistair wanted Dean to hit him, wanted to get Dean kicked out. He did not want to sit around and be insulted. Dean let Cas lead the way upstairs to their room. Once the door was shut Dean said,

"That was one of the hottest things I've ever seen." He cornered Cas up against a wall, his hands cupping Cas's face again. Cas rested his own hands on the backs of Dean's elbows, his head tilting to the side slightly.

"What do you mean?" Dean kissed him along his jaw and nibbled slightly at his pulse point.

"I mean," He breathed against Cas's skin, "You saw right through their intentions, and you squashed them like a bug. It was hot." He bit slightly harder and heard Cas struggle to contain a moan, biting his lips to hold it in. "I like it when you take control baby." Dean told him, licking over where he had just bit. Dean ran his hands underneath Cas's shirt, feeling the flat pane of his stomach, bumping his palms over the little muscles there, running them soothingly up and down Cas's back, scratching gently with his blunt nails. Cas arched into him, his pupils blown wide and his bottom lip caught fiercely in between his teeth. Dean kissed his way back up Cas's jaw and kissed his lips, stealing Cas's bottom lip and nibbling on it gently, holding his angel to him. Cas moaned into Dean's mouth and Dean thought there wasn't another sound in this universe that sounded nearly so delicious.

Finally, Cas pulled a way a little.

"I don't want you to misunderstand my intentions . . ." He started, nervously. Dean chuckled. Cas was going to take him apart bit by bit and completely undo him. Even his nerdy speech had Dean aching for him. "But I would like to . . . maybe sleep in the same bed tonight . . . if that's . . . I mean . . ." Cas couldn't meet Dean's eyes, he was too nervous, and blushing like crazy. "I mean if that's okay with you Dean . . ." Dean smiled at him and kissed his forehead.

"I would love to sleep in the same bed as you Cas. And don't worry, I won't pressure you." Cas nodded and Dean tilted Cas's chin up again. "Angel, you don't have to be nervous. It's just me. Breathe, remember?" Cas finally met his eyes and smiled. They both got ready for bed and when it was time, Cas pulled back the covers on his bed, motioning for Dean to slide in. He did, and Cas lay down next to him. Dean pulled the other man into his arms and for a moment they just lay facing each other, their eyes gleaming in the darkness. Dean kissed Cas again, slowly. He tasted like his toothpaste, fresh and minty with a hint of something else so uniquely Cas. Like a cinnamon/sugar sprinkled pie crust. Dean took deep breaths, moving against Cas deliberately, mapping out the other man like one would map out the stars. They fell asleep in each others arms, Dean wondering if it was possible to be one hundred percent in love after being together for such a short time, but he looked down at the sleeping blue eyed man in his arms, his hair all bushy with sleep and sticking out in a million different directions, and decided it was so very possible. _Love, _he thought, _I love him. _Before his dreams washed over him like waves washing over the beach, pulling him out to swim.


	11. Last Straws and First Meetings

**This is sooo super late and I am so very sorry about that. First off, the entire story turned out way longer than I wanted it to be originally. So if you've read this far, you're either insane or dedicated and I thank you and love you for both. :) Secondly, I got sick last week, and rescued a kitten (His name is Sherlock). The two combined just didn't make for good writing times, and I don't believe in forcing myself to write because that's how stories become strained and boring (which is exactly why I haven't finished up Rache yet . . . but I will) The story is just starting to get juicy and I didn't want to short change anyone. So here's the next chapter, expect more very soon. As always let me know what you think in the comments! **

**Chapter Eleven: Last Straws and First Meetings**

**Castiel: **

It was the night before the week two competition. They were getting ready for bed, Dean brushing his teeth in only boxers and a t-shirt, and Castiel taking out his contacts in his sweatpants and old ratty shirt. A pounding sounded at the door. Castiel had jumped so hard he almost poked out one of his eyes. He glared at the door and went to get it, but Dean brushed him aside gently and opened it instead.

"What is it? What do you want?" Dean demanded softly. Castiel was glad Dean had gotten the door, he hated when people pounded on doors like that and he would've been rude to whoever was on the other side, regardless of whom it was.

"Let me in let me in!" Kevin pushed his way past Dean and Dean stood back, stunned. Castiel finished messing with his contacts and slid on his glasses.

"What is it Kevin?" Castiel asked, noting the worried tone of Kevin's voice, the way his hands shook slightly and his eyes looked huge and panicked.

"I just . . . I need to hide from . . ." Ice chilled Castiel's veins.

"He didn't."

"He . . . no. He just . . . tried again." Dean looked back and forth between them, confused.

"What the hell is going on?" He asked gruffly, gravitating towards his bed where his pocket knife was. Castiel even wondered if Dean was conscious that he was reaching for the weapon, or if it was just second nature. Castiel neared him and put a hand gently on Dean's arm.

"Dean . . . no." Dean looked down at his hand in surprise, as if realizing the pocket knife had materialized there. He sat it down. He then looked up to Castiel, eyes questioning him. Castiel threw a glance at Kevin.

"Can I tell him? It would make things a lot easier." Kevin seemed to think about it and then finally nodded.

"Alistair has been-,"

"THE GUY IS A PHSYCO CREEP THAT KEEPS TRYING TO MAKE A MOVE ON ME!" Kevin exclaimed, hands still shaking a bit as he ran them through his hair. Dean went from concerned to murderous in about two seconds flat. He lurched towards the door and it actually took all of Castiel's strength to hold him back this time.

"I'M GOING TO KILL THAT SONOFABITCH!" Dean shouted. Castiel pushed at the other man's shoulders.

"NO YOU'RE NOT DEAN!" He command in his loudest voice ever. Dean seemed to stop and realize what he was doing, realize he was shoving against Castiel, the pocket knife back in his hand. "SIT DOWN!" Castiel's voice boomed. Dean glared at the door one more time before sitting down, sulking like a child who had been put in time out. His arms crossed over his chest.

"What are we going to do about this? We can't just let this slide!" He looked accusingly up at Castiel. "You _knew _about this and you did nothing!?" He asked, his voice slightly hurt sounding. Castiel clenched his fists.

"I knew about this and I did what Kevin asked me to do. Plus, I did save him from Alistair once. I haven't done nothing, I have been watching to ensure that Kevin didn't get close to him, that _you _didn't get close to him." Castiel knelt down and stared into Dean's eyes, almost menacingly. "So, Dean Winchester, don't you dare tell me I did nothing." Dean seemed to visibly relax, to slide back into the Dean that he knew.

"Okay. Okay . . . so what do we do?" Castiel glanced back at Kevin who now sat on the edge of Castiel's bed, looking for all the world like a lost little puppy.

"I . . . I don't know. Kevin, would you let us go the studio and tell them?"

"No." He shot up straight, determined.

"Why not?" Dean ordered gruffly. "Why not get that scum bag kicked out of here? Or at least warned that he'd better lay off . . ."

"Because. Because if word gets out . . . I just don't want to deal with this guys. I just came here to dance, I don't want my whole life jeopardized, I don't want to be remembered as 'that boy who almost got molested."

"But what if this happens again?" Dean asked, his hands in fists at his sides.

"Then . . . then I don't know." Kevin responded. Castiel couldn't stop the words that tumbled out of his mouth less.

"What if next time, you don't get away?" Kevin put his head in his hands.

"I don't know." He groaned. "You don't understand, my family can't know . . ."

"Kevin, it's not like it's your fault." Castiel explained, reaching a hand out to place reassuringly on Kevin's shoulder and then thinking better of it.

"I know but my family won't see it that way."

"I guess our only course of action, besides protecting Kevin is to hope he gets voted off?" Dean asked, seemingly very angry with the decision.

"He will." Castiel said, trying for a light tone. "Did you see his Hip Hop last week? It was awful." Kevin smiled a little.

"Thanks guys." He told them.

"What do you want to do for right now? We were just about to go to sleep," Castiel gestured to Dean's pantless legs, causing Dean to shrug. "But you're welcome to stay for as long as it takes for you to feel comfortable again."

"I . . . I think I'm okay . . . can I just join you guys for practice from now on? I don't want to be a burden . . ."

"You aren't a burden Kevin, you're our friend. Of course you can join us for practice." Castiel told him, thinking only slightly of how his time alone with Dean would be severely cut back. He knew this was the right thing to do though.

"C'mon Kev, I'm going to walk you to your room."

"Dean . . ."

"No buts, move it special K." Dean told him gruffly. When Dean returned and they lay in bed, he ran a hand along Castiel's spine, causing Castiel to shiver.

"You said you had pulled Alistair off of him before . . ." Dean started.

"Yes?"

"He could've hurt you." Castiel was touched at the concern in Dean's voice. He slid a hand up to Dean's cheek in the darkness, stroking the stubble covered skin there.

"I was fine. I'll be fine." He told Dean. He kissed him softly. "Seeing you with that knife tonight . . . it worried me. It was like you were a hunter or something." Castiel whispered, smiling. "Off to hunt the bad guys."

"Oh, you know how it is, saving people, hunting things . . . the family business." Castiel chuckled.

"You would make a fearsome hunter Dean."

"Well you would make a fearsome angel, Cas." Dean kissed him goodnight and fell asleep soon after. Castiel lay awake for a little bit longer, thinking about tomorrow and all the challenges it would bring. He almost started to get stressed out but then Dean's arm flung itself around him and pulled him to the hunter's chest, cradling him softly. Castiel relaxed against Dean's warmth. No, stress would not enter his mind. Not as long as he was with Dean.

**Dean: **

The beginning of the show went flawlessly, the only issue Dean had with it was that he had to dance on the same stage as Alistair. Dean had really hated the guy before he found out about what he had done to Kevin, but now every time Dean looked at Alistair he had to fight back the urge to kill him. He tried to let all of that slip from his mind as they preformed "Dreaming", choosing instead to focus mainly on Cas and how they got to dance very close during this piece, enjoying the feeling of Cas near him on stage. When they exited all the dancers cheered backstage, congratulating one another. Dean's routine was first tonight, his heart racing with excitement. Cas came up to him right before he went on, eyes raking over Dean and the suit he was wearing for his routine.

"You clean up nice Winchester." Cas told him, his blue eyes twinkling. Dean grinned and almost swore he felt himself blushing.

"Yeah well . . . if I had my way about it I wouldn't be in this monkey suit." Dean shifted uncomfortably, the fabric pulling at him in places he wasn't used to. Cas looked around, making sure no one was watching them, but still kept it platonic, clapping a hand on Dean's shoulder.

"You're going to do wonderful Dean." He said, his mouth pulled into that wonderful smile that made his eyes crinkle. Dean felt like his heart was beating too fast, he wasn't nervous. Cas just did this to him.

"Thanks angel face." He breathed, not trusting his voice. Cas winked at him.

"Any time, hunter." Then someone called Cas to go and change, and he was ushered away by adoring hair and makeup ladies already wiping off some of his apocalypse makeup. Dean watched him go and smiled a bit to himself, before he was ushered off as well in the opposite direction, towards the stage. Before he went on he watched the before dance reel, he hadn't seen it before now. The prompt this week was "tell us something about your dance partner that we don't know". Dean had told about how Jo could take down anyone, man or women. He had seen so himself several times when he angered her, how fierce she was. He ended it with "Just don't mess with her." And feigned a scared look at the camera. He watched Jo's grin spread across her face as she raised an eyebrow at him. He shrugged and then looked back up for Jo's bit.

"Something you don't already know about Dean is that he's actually best friends with Castiel." Footage showed of Dean and Cas listening to Fall Out Boy, their heads bent close together. Of Dean tapping on Cas's shoulder and having Cas turn around and Dean doubling over in laughter at Cas's annoyed expression. Of Dean and Cas practicing a bit of the group routine together and laughing some more. He hadn't even been aware there was a camera on them in most of those moments. "Like seriously, the only time they're not together is when we're practicing our routine for the week, every other moment they are inseparable." Footage of them hugging after Cas's routine last week showed in slow motion and Dean felt his stomach drop. Was this too much? Would Cas be upset? "It's adorable." Jo continued. The reel ended and the music started.

The dance went without a hitch. Dean was remembering all the times he had practiced these steps with Cas, feeling Cas in his arms instead of Jo. It really wasn't fair to her, he was paying her attention but only by pretending she was someone else. He whisked her around the floor and her skirt bellowed out in great lavender clouds. She was a wonderful dance partner, really. But Cas was better. He wished for a brief second that he was allowed to dance with Cas on the show. Really dance with him, like he was dancing with Jo now. But that was impossible, and there was no use dreaming about impossible things. The dance came to a close and Dean led Jo over to the judges who mostly praised them, wondered at how Dean, a hip hop dancer, could breeze so easily between styles. Dean accepted their compliments and they walked off stage together after advertising their vote numbers. Dean was excited, jittery because he would get to watch Cas do his pizza man routine. He stood by the monitors, ignoring the hair and makeup women that wanted to get him out of costume. He waved them away and stood by, hellbent on watching.

The door was placed on the stage, Cas in his pizza man outfit stood on the wings, Meg in her babysitter outfit on the opposite. The before dance reel played and Dean ignored most of it, watching Cas in the wings. The lights came on, Cas walked onto stage first, the doorbell rang. Meg danced onto the stage and opened the door. From there it only got better. Cas's acting was spot on as he discovered Meg, dancing with the pizza box, and then, when it came time for him to throw that away, with the hat he wore. He grinded on Meg like he had been doing it his whole life, like he was completely confident with himself. Dean grinned. He was doing perfect. The dance ended with the door slamming closed and Cas and Meg sitting down on the floor and Cas feeding her a slice (there was actually pizza in the box he was dancing with, it was impressive to say the least) They got a standing ovation from both the audience and the judge's panel and Dean grinned to himself, where no one could see him. Or at least, so he thought. Jo came up and put an arm around his shoulders, somehow managing the feat despite the fact that he was so much taller than her.

"You taught him well." She said, looking towards the monitors at Cas and Meg smiling, panting on stage and feeding Kat pizza.

"Yeah well. He didn't need too much help. He's incredible." Dean murmured.

"I hope you're not mad about the reel." Jo told him. Dean looked down at her and shrugged.

"Why would I be?" He tried to sound nonchalant but Jo just gave him a knowing look.

"I think we both know why." She said. She didn't sound threatening, and Dean had grown close to her lately dancing, so he knew she wouldn't betray him. But he felt himself stiffen either way.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Jo just shrugged.

"I don't care Dean. I think it's sweet. You two are good for each other." Dean was about to respond, to be honest, he couldn't think of what to say. Jo just winked at him and flounced off, and finally he let the hair and makeup ladies drag him away to get him changed into his regular clothes.

Later that night when they were in their room, all was quiet. Dean was worried that Cas was mad about the before dance reel. He looked over and saw Cas staring off into space while sitting on his bed, massaging his sore feet. Dean bounced onto the bed and stole Cas's foot from him, rubbing it for him. Cas's blue eyes bore into his.

"What are you thinkin' about?" Dean asked him, rubbing along the bottom of Cas's foot. Cas relaxed back into the bed.

"Nothing." He answered. Dean could tell he was lying. He dug into Cas's foot a little harder.

"C'mon Cas, don't do this. Don't keep secrets from me man. You're not mad about the reel are you?" Cas looked startled.

"The . . . reel? Oh. No. It just said we were friends. Anyone could've seen that just by looking. And it wasn't your fault Dean. You didn't know she was going to say that." Dean felt relief wash over him.

"Good." Dean responded, cracking Cas's toes. "So then what are you thinking about?" Cas pulled his foot out of Dean's hand and leaned towards him, putting a hand to Dean's cheek.

"You." The word made Dean's heart flutter.

"If you're thinking about me, why do you look so sad angel?" He placed his hand over Cas's and lowered his eyelids a fraction.

"Because I don't think I'm good enough for you, Dean." Cas told him earnestly. "I don't think I will ever deserve you." Dean kissed him rapidly, moving so that he lay over Cas, balancing his weight on his elbows. When he finally let up he looked down at the beautiful man beneath him. Men weren't supposed to be beautiful, they were supposed to be handsome. But no word described Cas better. His depth-filled blue eyes, fringed by long lashes, his wonderful kiss-swollen lips, his bushy dark hair. Cas was beautiful.

"I think it's the other way around Cas. I don't deserve you." Dean kissed down Cas's neck and nibbled a little bit, Cas gasped and dug his nails lightly into Dean's back.

"Dean I think-," They were interrupted by the sound of Dean's ring tone.

_Carry on my wayward son _

_there will be peace when you are done_

_lay your weary head to rest_

_don't you cry no more_

Dean growled and flipped off of Cas, grabbing his phone from the bathroom counter.

"What's up Sammy?" Dean asked, holding the phone up to his ear. "Yeah yeah. Thanks. . . voted a million and two times I know . . . did you put in the votes for Cas like I asked too? . . . good. Anything else? . . ." Dean's whole form seemed to tense up, as if he were preparing to leap into the air. His eyes grew large and excited, his mouth open in astonishment. "NO WAY!" He screamed excitedly. "When?! Tomorrow?! Hell yeah I'll have tickets for ya! I can't wait! When do you get in? . . . noon? I'll be busy all day but after the show I'm free! Of course I'm not getting voted off asshat. Okay. I'll see ya then Sammy." Dean hung up the phone. Cas lay on the bed looking at him like he was crazy.

"What's going on?" Cas asked him. Dean sat the phone down on the counter slowly, and then bounded across the room to jump on top of Cas once again. "OOF!" Was the noise Cas made as all the air whizzed out of his lungs. Dean kissed him even more breathless until Cas had to push him away a bit to catch up. "What . . .?"

"Sammy is coming tomorrow, he's going to be here for the rest of the competition, go to every show he says. He got off work." Dean kissed Cas again, biting at his bottom lip and causing Cas to moan into his mouth. "He's going to get to meet you." Dean whispered nuzzling into Cas's neck.

"Oh no."

"You don't want to meet Sammy?" Dean looked down at Cas.

"No of course I do. I'm just . . . what if he doesn't like me?" That was it. Dean was sure right then that he was in love with Cas. That Cas should even be concerned about whether or not Sammy liked him melted Dean's heart. Dean ran his hands underneath Cas's shirt, feeling along the muscles there.

"He'll love you." Dean told him, kissing Cas's forehead. Cas started to squirm when Dean's fingers skirted over his abdomen. "Cas? Are you . . . are you ticklish?"

"NO!" Cas answered all too quickly. Dean shot him a mischievous grin as he started to run his fingers even faster along the other man's stomach, watching him squirm more. A chuckle escaped Cas's lips.

"You are ticklish!" Dean spent a good ten minutes making the other man even more breathless by taunting him, until finally the ended up with Cas straddling Dean's hips and holding his hands and looking down at him for all the world like he would smite Dean if Dean continued on.

"Stop it!" He demanded. Dean smiled up at his angel.

"You're kinda hot when you're all serious Cas." Cas rolled his eyes and Dean flipped them and kissed Cas again. Cas sighed and fell into the embrace, holding Dean close until they fell asleep.

**Castiel: **

Dean and Castiel stood on the wings of the stage with most of the other dancers. Four dancers were on the stage. Ed, Alistair, Andrea, and Lilith. They were not particularly close to any of them, but Castiel had his fingers crossed that Alistair would get voted off.

"Ed and Andrea, we're going to have to ask you to leave." Nigel said. Castiel's heart sunk. Another week of putting up with Alistair. Dean must've noticed the look on his face because he just shrugged and nodded to the crowd, where his brother sat near the front, saying, _forget that at least Sammy's here. _Castiel nodded and smiled but truth be told he was terrified to meet the other Winchester. Sam meant everything to Dean. Castiel knew if Sam didn't approve of him . . . well . . . things might go south with Dean. After the show they got changed and met Sammy outside the studio. Dean was walking beside Castiel and then he saw the taller man standing there and broke into a run, a big joyful smile slapped across his face. He pulled his bigger little brother into a hug and clapped his back. Castiel approached cautiously.

"Sammy man! It's great to see ya! What'd you think of the show?"

"It was alright." Sam said, smiling politely. "I'll be excited to see the dance portion of it next week. Can't wait to see you in spandex." Sam punched his shoulder gently. Dean rolled his eyes.

"Whatever." Then Dean seemed to come back down to earth and realize Castiel was there. He stepped back from his brother and gestured Castiel to come over, he did, stepping wearily, like he was afraid he would spook Sam. "Sam this is Castiel, he's my best friend in the show. He's a great guy and probably the best dancer here." Sam took his hand and shook it with a firm handshake.

"Yeah, I know you've told me. I've heard a lot about you Castiel." Sam told him, smiling. He had a warm inviting smile that made Castiel feel like there was no where else on earth Sam would rather be than in a dingy street shaking hands with him. In that way Sam was nothing like Dean. When Castiel first met Dean he considered himself lucky Dean didn't decide to beat him up every time he laid eyes on him. With Sam he felt at ease, comfortable, besides being a little nervous.

"I've heard a lot about you as well." Castiel told him smiling back. Dean was looking between them giddily, smiling to himself.

"Hey how about we go catch some dinner before we call it a night huh? We've got a busy day tomorrow!" Sam and Castiel agreed and they went out to a local hamburger joint, Dean had a beer, Sam had several, and Castiel drank water religiously. The night went smoothly, Castiel's nervousness quickly faded as Sam talked to him over his salad. Sam was incredibly easy to get along with. They talked about the show, about Sam's favorite dancers (he'd been keeping up brilliantly) About how Sam wanted to go to law school and was just finishing up his basics at community college. By the end of the night Castiel felt more or less charmed by the younger Winchester. He felt like he had gained another friend, possibly even a brother. Sam gave off this weird aura . . . even though he was much taller than Castiel was, Castiel felt the overwhelming need to protect him. They parted ways, Castiel and Dean headed back to the house. When they got in the car Castiel smiled at Dean.

"I like your brother Dean." He told him. "He's a good kid." Dean grinned as if Castiel had just given him a present.

"He liked you too Cas. I'm so glad. I mean not that he could not like you," Dean elbowed Castiel a little. "You're just everyone's favorite little angel. But I'm glad it worked out anyway."

"Me too." They went home and prepared themselves for another week of dance.


	12. Your Guardian Angel

**I did a speed upload tonight, meaning this is freshly written, meaning there may or may not be more mistakes than usual. Don't judge me. And by the way, I love you.**

**Chapter Twelve: Your Guardian Angel**

** Castiel: **

The days started to rush together into one big blur of dance. Dean and Castiel stayed average, neither in the top nor the bottom. They worked harder, if that was even possible, going to the studio to practice whenever they had free time. As soon as Kevin decided to join them, Jess came too, and then Meg and Jo and Balthazar. Sammy sometimes came to watch. Castiel would catch Dean out of the corner of his eye grinning brighter than normal when Sam was around, and the idea of a happier Dean appealed to Castiel so he made sure to ask if Sam wanted to come often. Castiel also caught Sam looking at Jess often, his big puppy dog eyes would follow her around the room as if he were in a trance. Once while Dean Cas and Sam were at dinner and Dean got up to go to the bathroom, Castiel asked Sam about it.

"So I see you've been . . . erm . . . looking at Jess." Oh yeah, he realized. He wasn't good at this kind of conversation. Sam fumbled with his fork and looked up at Castiel.

"Is it that obvious?" Castiel grinned a little bit.

"Well . . . I don't know about _obvious._ She is beautiful. I think if you tried talking to her you'd have a shot." Sam's mouth dropped open.

"Really?" Castiel was confused. Typically people like Sam knew they were gorgeous, thought they'd have a shot at any girl.

"Really." Castiel told him. Dean came back from the bathroom, wiping his hands on his jeans.

"What'd I miss?" He asked. Castiel looked up at Sam through his lashes, and caught the look Sam gave him. The look that begged, _please don't tell Dean. _So Castiel shrugged.

"Nothing really . . . Sam was explaining baseball too me."

"Again? Sam he'll never understand it." Dean groaned, sliding into the booth beside Castiel and bumping his shoulder. Sam laughed.

"I know he won't, it's a lost cause."

"I just don't understand . . . is short stop required to be shorter than everyone else? Could I be short stop if I were on a team?" Dean laughed and shook his head.

"You have got to be kidding."

"I know I'm not that short," Castiel rambled on, "But compared to you Winchesters I feel like a dwarf. I mean dear God Samsquatch over here is six four! How is anyone supposed to stand up to that?"

"You're not supposed to stand up to that." Sam said, throwing Castiel a bitch face. "You're supposed to _look_ up to that." Dean and Castiel laughed and Castiel was forced into concession.

The third week Alfie and Delta got voted off, Delta threw a raging fit and stormed off the stage. Neither Dean nor Castiel were sad to see her go, but Alfie they would miss. They said their farewells to him and clung tighter to each other in the confines of their room.

Sometimes Castiel wished he could just tell the world about him and Dean. That when he felt stressed at rehearsal he could just take Dean's hand. That he could kiss Dean whenever, and rub his hand reassuringly on Dean's back like he had seen other couples doing. Dean had told Castiel that Jo seemed to know about them, but he swore to hell and back that he hadn't told her and that she wouldn't tell anyone. He liked the feeling of having someone else know their secret. It was like they had a confident, not that they ever told her anything. Just shared looks. Sometimes Castiel would catch himself smiling at Dean and then catch Jo looking and he would kind of think, _I love him._ And she would nod, _I know. _And smile. She made it clear she thought their relationship was precious which helped a lot when Dean had to do the sexy hip hop dance with her the next week. Dean shined during that routine, and Jo did as well, both of them originating from the hip hop genre. Castiel watched it on repeat sometimes.

The next week Sam finally asked Jess out on a date, and she accepted (Castiel suspected to Kevin's dismay) and they had a great time. They started dating regularly. Garth was in the audience that week, much to Castiel's joy and horror. Joy because of course he was excited to see Garth, and horror because that week was the unicorn routine. It was contemporary so of course Castiel was excited. They had Sonya, so that upped his excitement. Then the word unicorn came out of her mouth and he felt doomed.

"Unicorn?" He had asked her. "Really?" Sonya clapped her hands like an excited little gir.

"Oh yes, really. It is going to be magical!" She told them. Castiel felt doomed, the situation was made worse when Meg started referring to him as "her unicorn" Castiel groaned and put a hand to his face, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Can we please go back to Angel face? Please?" Meg winked at him.

"Not a chance unicorn." Causing Castiel to look up at the ceiling as if praying, _why God, why?!_

The routine was actually quite good and got a big applause, it was memorable, Castiel had to give Sonya that. He actually had to wear a horn on his forehead and dance without knocking it off. As Dean held him in his arms that night he kissed where the horn had been.

"So . . . do you get to keep it?"

"Keep what?" Castiel asked, not liking where this conversation was going.

"The horn!"

"NO."

"But it's so sexy-,"

"No absolutely not."

"It makes me . . . horny."

"Oh my God _shut up!_" Castiel demanded, shoving Dean away from him. Dean chuckled and kissed Castiel again.

They had been getting closer and closer lately. Dean had respected Castiel's wishes to take it slow, but sometimes Castiel wished he didn't. Sometimes Castiel wanted so badly to just rip off all of Dean's clothes and not care if everyone in the mansion could hear them screaming through the walls. He forced himself to stay restrained, but his reasons were beginning to chip away like ice. Why didn't he want to have sex right away again? Why not just go for it? He couldn't seem to remember at all.

That was the week Castiel had decided to surprise Dean with a date. He went to the store and packed a picnic lunch, complete with champagne, grapes, cheese, and a loaf of bread. He then went back by the house and grabbed a blanket and told Dean to come with him. They didn't tell anyone else where they were going, they didn't tell Kevin or anyone, Castiel made it clear he wanted to be alone with Dean. They got to the studio and Dean grinned.

"So what's up angel face? What're we doing here? And what's in the basket?" Castiel sat the basket and blanket aside, and went to plug in his ipod.

"I heard this song the other day, and it made me think of us. I was trying to think of ways to surprise you, to treat you, and as always dance came to my mind." Castiel walked across the room, bringing himself breathtakingly close to Dean and taking Dean's hand in his. He didn't miss the way his heart skipped a beat when their skin made contact. He realized something right then. He loved Dean. He loved the way Dean smiled when he saw him. He loved the way he looked so peaceful when he was sleeping, the way he ate nothing but cheeseburgers and pie and still looked like a God. He loved the way Dean loved Sam, how loyal he was. He loved the way Dean danced, how he filled Castiel with confidence.

_I will never let you fall_

_I'll stand up with you forever_

_I'll be there for you through it all_

_Even if saving you sends me to heaven_

The song rang out as they floated through the studio. "Dean I think I am in great danger of being in love with you." Castiel whispered, unable to find his voice. He looked up at Dean, waiting for rejection, but was only met with the shining love he had come to know so well in return.

"Oh Cas . . . I love you too." Dean picked him up and spun him, causing his heart to leap into his throat. "I love you and I love this and I never want to stop dancing with you." Castiel kissed him and their movement stalled, but to Castiel it felt like all the movement in the room just picked up faster. Their bodies and souls seemed to flow into one being and dance all around them. When finally, they pulled apart, Castiel led Dean over to the discarded picnic basket and set up their picnic. "You are so romantic babe! What was that song called by the way?" Dean asked, sitting beside him on the blanket and opening the champagne with a loud pop.

"It was called 'Your Guardian Angel' by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus." Castiel told him, smiling. The look on Dean's face made Castiel's heart jump for joy. He looked completely and totally in love, that was the only way Castiel could describe it.

"Cas c'mere, I need to kiss you now." Castiel laughed and made his way over to Dean, feeding him a grape and then kissing him in turn. He tasted like bubbles and sweet grape juice.

"I just want you to know . . . I'm here for you now. Forever. Like you're always here for me. I love you. And by the way, I might be saying that too much, stop me if-," Dean kissed him again, carding his fingers through Castiel's hair.

"You could never say that enough my angel." They sat on the blanket and talked and ate until it was the wee hours of the morning and they had to rush home to get a little bit of sleep before Dean was cranky all the next day and they were both chugging coffee like air.


	13. So This is Love

**Chapter Thirteen: So This is Love**

**Castiel: **

The next week was difficult. Bennie and Jess got voted off and both Dean and Castiel were torn up about it. They hugged them both goodbye, Castiel with tears in his eyes as he hugged Jess. He squeezed her tight and heard her whisper,

"You win this thing, Cas."

"I'll try." He told her, as she squeezed him again before releasing him.

"I'll be watching." She left. She was happier though, never bitter for a moment. This just meant more time to explore her new-found relationship with Sam. She joined Sam and Garth in the audience every week from that point out. Bennie just hugged Dean and clapped him on the shoulder.

"Good luck brother." He told him in his Louisianan accent.

"Thanks man. I'm sorry to see you go." Dean said, looking emotional.

"Everyone has a time to go, Dean." Bennie told him, seriously. Dean nodded and watched Bennie go as well. Castiel had sunk lower in the rankings himself, starting to edge near the bottom even though his dancing was spot on.

"I'm telling you man, it's the lack of story, people know you're a great dancer but they don't see your personality." Castiel still stubbornly refused.

"I've already told you Dean, that stuff is only for you." Dean nodded in agreement but Castiel could tell he was unsatisfied with the entire thing. They practiced more, went on a few dates when they had time. Most of the time their dates consisted of cuddling up in bed and reading together, sometimes they would go back to the studio, just the two of them, and dance. Every once and a while they went out dancing at the country club again with some of the dancers, Sam and Jess would come along. The thing Castiel hated most about going out to dance though was the fact that he could only dance so many dances with Dean before it started to look like something more, not that his friends cared but they were still attempting to keep it a secret, and now that they were becoming more famous, people started to recognize them and take pictures when they danced.

Castiel could feel himself slipping further and further into the heat that was love. He felt like he was changing, becoming a new person. He was no longer just Castiel, he was Castiel _with _Dean. He finally decided he was ready to take their relationship to the next level. He was ready to give Dean the most intimate thing he could give him. It was unceremonious, just like Castiel preferred it. They lay in bed one night, about to fall asleep, when Castiel decided he was ready. He leaned up and pressed his lips to Dean's. Dean kissed him back but was clearly surprised by Castiel's passion.

"Mmm . . . babe, not that I mind, but what's with the intensity?"

"Dean I . . . I think I'm ready . . . if you want to . . . you know . . ." Dean's eyes seemed to grow larger in the darkness.

"You're ready to . . .?" He asked. It was as if both of them were skirting around saying the actual words, like maybe if they didn't say what they intended to do, it wouldn't feel so big, so dramatic suffocating. It was just sex. Castiel kissed him in response, sliding his tongue into Dean's mouth, and flipping over so he straddled Dean's hips in the darkness. He leaned down again and kissed Dean, whose hands came up to rest on Castiel's hips. He kissed hungrily into Castiel's mouth and moved against Castiel in a way that drove him crazy. Castiel reached down to take off his shirt, and Dean stopped his hands at the hem. "Are you sure, Cas?" Dean asked him. Castiel could tell Dean wanted to go on, could feel that Dean was enjoying this, but the man beneath him loved him enough to ask anyway. Castiel took off his shirt and leaned back down to kiss along Dean's throat.

"I'm positive." He said against Dean's skin, his voice lower than usual. A thought occurred to him and he sat up. "Unless you don't want to . . . I don't want to pressure you or anyth-," Dean yanked Castiel back down and smashed his lips into Castiel's.

"No, I want to." Castiel smiled and rolled his hips down onto Dean, who moaned. "You're gonna kill me Cas." Castiel grinned at the new-found power but only got to revel in it for two seconds before Dean had them flipped over, Castiel pinned to the bed by Dean's hips, Dean reached up to remove his own shirt and then knelt back down, his hands running cautiously over Castiel, like little moths flitting over him. Dean kissed him again, gently. Castiel could feel the love poured into every touch..

"Dean, I'm not going to break." He told the other man, who was moving so carefully it nearly drove Castiel insane.

"I know . . . I just . . ."

**Dean: **

He knew Cas wouldn't break, but something in him told him to be careful, to take this slow, not to hurt him. He wanted this to be good for Cas. This was more important than anyone he had ever been with before. So yes, he was going slow, treating Cas like he would break, even though his original intention had been to speed things up, he found himself lingering over certain patches of skin, listening to Cas's small noises of pleasure, and really feeling every sensation, the way one savors a small piece of chocolate after having nothing for a very long time. He dipped his fingers below the hem of Cas's sweat pants and pushed them off his lean dancer's legs, lost within the site before him. Cas was truly beautiful. He had thin, toned muscles, pale skin that seemed to glow in the moonlight coming in from the window, and his large blue eyes . . . well the blue was almost completely gone, eaten up by the lust in his eyes, but the expression almost caused Dean to come undone right then.

"I love you." Cas told him. Dean kissed him, their lips moving together like a dance the both knew the choreography to oh so well by now.

"I love you too." Cas reached for his hand and intertwined their fingers. "Cas . . . you're beautiful." Dean whispered, lost in awe. Dean could've sworn that even in the moonlight he could see Castiel's blush.

"Dean I . . . thank you." Castiel sounded unsure, like he didn't know how to accept the compliment. Dean kissed down his chest, lingering in certain places, letting all his love pour forth with every touch.

"I mean it. I've never seen someone so attractive." Dean said, enjoying the sound of Cas's breath hitching when he reached his boxer briefs. His eyes flicked up to Cas's. "Are you still sure you want to . . .?" He asked, the question killing him but leaving his lips anyway.

"Yes Dean. Please." That was enough for Dean. He hooked his fingers in the material and pulled the boxers down and off Cas's legs.

**Castiel:**

Castiel didn't think he'd ever seen anything as downright sexy as Dean looking up at him like that. He threw his head back on the pillows when Dean's hot mouth enveloped him, his hands turning to fists, gripping the sheets. He was trying to keep the noises escaping his mouth quiet, so no one could hear them, but when Dean hollowed out his cheeks Castiel lost it, and sounds started pouring out of his mouth that he was sure everyone could hear. He stopped caring. He stopped caring about everything. He bucked his hips up on accident, and Dean's warm hand came down to cover his hip and hold him in place. Castiel lost the ability to think straight. He felt like he was getting close, and he stopped everything, and pulled Dean up gently by the hair.

"Not . . . like this . . ." He panted, his words feeling treacherous to him. Dean nodded in understanding and reached towards the nightstand to grasp a bottle of lube from the drawer. He coated his fingers with it and then reached back down.

Castiel felt very odd at first at the intrusion, but he ignored it as Dean's mouth came back and wrapped him up in bliss. Dean was moving slow again, trying not to break him, and Castiel was sure that in that moment he loved Dean like he would never love anyone else again. He knew it like he knew the sky was blue, like he knew how to dance to his favorite song. He knew this was it. This was him giving away his heart for good. Dean added another finger, causing more noises to spill forth from Castiel's mouth.

**Dean: **

Cas writhed underneath him and Dean looked on lovingly. He had never been one for blow jobs, never thought they were as pleasurable for one side as they were for the other, but he had been told when you were with someone you really loved, they were equally pleasurable for both sides. So this must be love, because Dean found himself surprisingly enjoying it. He was careful-, oh so careful with Cas. Whispering sweet nothings as Cas's body adjusted to his fingers, crooning to him, kissing his hip bones which stuck out. Dean felt as if he were swimming amongst the noises pouring out of Cas's wonderful, kiss swollen mouth. He felt like they were a drug and he needed his next hit. He found Cas's sweet spot, he could tell because Cas was so loud that he had to whisper,

"Shh . . . everyone will hear you angel." And Cas nodded quickly. Dean kept going until finally Cas looked him in the eyes and said the words Dean was sure would be his undoing.

"Dean . . . please . . ." He said, his voice sounding absolutely _wrecked. _Dean knew exactly what Cas wanted, and knew he didn't need to be asked twice.

"Okay baby. Okay." He climbed back up Cas's body and placed another kiss on him, Cas arching up into their kiss. It was only then Dean realized he still had his boxers on, and moved with the haste he had been waiting to encompass him the entire time to take them off. He poured more lube on himself, and aligned himself with Cas.

"Cas this is gonna hurt . . ."

"Then hurt me." Cas told him, his hands around Dean's neck, nails digging into Dean's back a little bit.

"I'm going to try not to." Dean whispered, trying not to accept Cas's invitation and plunge in.

"It's okay Dean." Cas gave him a small smile and that was it. Dean moved forward slowly.

**Castiel: **

Dean moved within him and he felt more complete than he ever had in his entire life. Complete, and happy.

"Move." He whispered, not trusting his voice anymore. Dean moved. Castiel was sure he was seeing stars. Maybe he had been an angel all along, maybe he had been flying high, wrapped up in himself. Maybe this was falling. He bucked up into Dean and Dean groaned, his face dropping to the crook of Castiel's neck. "Faster . . . please." Castiel begged. Dean chuckled a little bit.

"Only you would say please like that." He thrust again.

"Please." Castiel told him, fingers digging into flesh. Dean kissed him.

"Okay."

**Dean: **

He thrust harder and faster now, sure he wouldn't hurt Cas. When Cas had said please Dean felt such love burst forth from him as he was sure he'd never felt before. Every time he thought he couldn't love Cas any more, his angel proved him wrong. He would always love Cas more and more and

"More!" Cas demanded.

"Let's not . . . get greedy now . . ." Dean said, speeding up. It only took a few more pumps before they were both done. Dean blacked out it was so intense, he'd never had that happen before. Cas lay beneath him when he came to, his arms wrapped around Dean, one hand in his hair stroking it soothingly, the other one rubbing idle circles on his back.

"Let's do that again soon." He told Dean. Dean just smiled.

"I love you Cas." He told his angel.

"I love you too Dean. More and more every second." He told his hunter.

The next day the world was euphoric. Nothing hurt and everything was happier, Dean couldn't resist the urge to place his hand on Cas's back sometimes, as if saying, _this is mine _and _I love you. _Cas didn't seem to mind and didn't tell him to stop, so he continued, his entire world lighting up when Cas entered the room all day. It was week five of the competition and Cas was in the bottom four that week. Dean stood at the side of the stage feeling conflicted. Cas couldn't get voted off, he couldn't. Dean was still convinced he deserved to win. Cas was the best dancer here. This was happening for no reason other than the fact Cas wouldn't spill his guts to those vultures.

"Cas, in all honesty I don't know why you're here, your routine this week was brilliant. Balthazar, we're going to have to ask you to leave." Cas looked torn apart. He was friends with Balthazar, very close friends. He hugged Balthazar and pat him on the back, his face looking drawn in agony. The dancers rushed the stage and hugged him, everyone loved Balthazar and was terribly sad to see him go. Balthazar was a little bitter, but not towards the dancers, towards the voters.

"Fucking idiots."

"Ass clowns, the lot of em." Dean said, patting Balthazar on the back. "You're a great dancer man. This doesn't mean anything, keep on dancing." Balthazar nodded but his gaze was far off. Eve also got voted off but no one was very sad to see her go. They all pretended to be for the cameras but she showed no emotion, just stared off at the audience quietly, as if plotting all of their deaths. It made Dean shudder and move immediately closer to Cas. They went home and were very quiet that night, until Cas broke the silence.

"Bottom two." He said.

"Babe, you're still going to win. Don't let it get you down." Cas looked at Dean as if he hadn't realized he had spoken aloud before.

"I don't know how. I've been sinking lower and lower. It makes no sense, I'm getting better. I'm adapting to new dance styles in no time at all. I'm not bottom two material. And frankly, Balthazar shouldn't have gone home this week. Alastair should have." Cas's words started to get more rushed as he spoke. Dean brushed Cas's hair back from his forehead, loving the fact that he could do so.

"I know. It's not fair, but it's a popularity contest as well as a dance contest. Maybe . . . maybe tomorrow when we're filming the reels you should-,"

"Dean you know I won't do it." Dean sighed.

"I know. I know you won't Cas, but it would help you a lot."

"It's too late at this point anyway. No one wants to hear a story, they just want to apply what they already know to us."

"And for you that's nothing."

"If this really is a popularity contest . . . maybe I don't want to win. Not like that." Dean frowned.

"I want you to win, Cas. Win it for me." Cas's blue eyes found his, and Cas squeezed his hand.

"Why do you say such things, Dean Winchester?" Cas kissed him and they battled for dominance. Dean eventually let Cas win.

"Because I love you." Dean said, like that explained the universe. "I love you and I will do anything to see you win."

"What about you?" Cas asked him, tears in his eyes. "We can't both win."

"I'm not as good a dancer as you."

"I think you are."

"That's because you love me too, Cas." They kissed again and Dean ran his hand up Cas's bare back, messaging lightly. Cas arched into him and hummed.

"I do love you." Cas nibbled at his earlobe. "Very much." Dean thought about just how much he would do to make sure that Cas won, and wasn't sure he liked the answer.

The next day during the filming for the before-dance reel, Dean felt like his heart was lead. He knew what he had to do,but he couldn't shake the feeling that he was betraying Cas to do it. The prompt that week was something to do with hometowns, but Dean found a way to make it work.

"My hometown is Lawrence, Kansas, a little country town in the middle of nowhere. But-," He continued, shocking the camera man who thought he was done, "I'm not sure if I'll return there when this is over. I might go back to Austin with my new boyfriend, Castiel." Kat's mouth dropped open and her eyes bugged out. The camera man stared at him like he was crazy.

"Dean . . ." Kat started, her polite British tone pleasant to the ear, "Are you sure you want to do this? We can re-shoot that bit if you want to, we don't have to have it in . . ."

"No, I'm sure."

"Is it true?" She asked him, her eyelids lowering a little, accusatory.

"Yes, of course it's true. We're together now and I love him with all that I am." Kat's eyes went back to normal, understanding even.

"Does he . . . does he know you were planning on doing this?"

"It's because of him that I'm doing this. I'll have to find a way to tell him . . . but it's for his own good." Kat bit her lip.

"I hope you know what you're doing." She told him, squeezing his arm and then walking off.

"I hope I do too." Dean responded forlornly. He hoped Cas wouldn't hate him. He hoped this would all work out for the best and end up boosting Cas's votes. He hoped beyond hope, but he couldn't help the feeling that he had just torn the world apart until it was bloody, and all that blood ran rivers down his hands.

**Mwahaha just when you thought it was super happy and everything was alright! I'll let you in on a tiny secret: I hate writing sex scenes. But sometimes, I feel they are necessary to the story. I cringe to ask, how do you think I did? Oh and I have a surprise for you . . . **


	14. I Don't Wanna Love Somebody Else

**That's right! It's another double upload Friday! As always let me know what you think by leaving me a little review! Seriously, anything makes my day. :) I hope y'all like this chapter, this song is one of my favorites right now (I Don't Wanna Love Somebody Else by A Great Big World) give it a listen! **

**Chapter Fourteen: I Don't Wanna Love Somebody Else**

**Dean:**

All that week, Dean knew he should tell Cas what he'd done. He knew without a doubt that Cas would respond better to hearing it from Dean's mouth in person, than hearing it from Dean's mouth on the screen. But every time he went to tell Cas, something silenced him. It might have been the way the sunlight hit Cas's hair, highlighting the undertone of red in it. It might've been the way Cas looked at him, as if he hung the moon. It might've been the way Cas kissed him, as if Dean was air and Cas was drowning, or the sweet words he whispered to Dean after they were done making love. Dean couldn't figure out how to tell Cas. Eventually he told Jo.

"Jo, I told the world about me and Cas."

"YOU DID WHAT?" She asked, stretching before their rehearsal. They had gotten contemporary that week, which meant Cas and Dean and the other dancers were in the studio more than ever trying to help him out.

"I told them, on the reel for this week." Dean told her, each word coming out of his mouth sounding more and more like a damnation.

"Does he know?"

"No." Dean mumbled, looking down in guilt.

"Oh Dean . . . he's not going to be happy."

"I know. I don't even know how to tell him, I need your help." Jo sighed in response.

"Well . . . you might want to start with why . . ."

"He was sinking lower in votes, and he's only getting better as a dancer. This is a popularity contest too, and he hasn't shared any sort of personal story. The world likes romance, this will boost his votes without sharing his personal life too much."

"Dean this is as personal as it gets." Jo told him, her eyes looking large and sad. "I understand why you did it, you just have to make Cas understand. And hopefully it turns out okay."

"Do you think it will?" Dean asked, terrified of the answer. Jo bit her lip.

"Honestly? If someone did that to me . . . it probably wouldn't." Dean sat on the floor and put his head in his hands. Jo patted his back. "Hey . . . Cas isn't me, we don't know how he'll take it . . . maybe it won't be that bad!"

It was bad. Dean couldn't tell Cas. He tried and tried and even brought up how maybe sharing their relationship might not be that bad an idea. Cas laughed him off.

"No, I think that would ruin our friendships with the other dancers, and it might not even boost our votes." This just made everything worse of course. The night before the show, Dean made love to Cas slowly, taking his time as if memorizing every inch of him. He hadn't realized he was crying until Cas's delicate fingers were brushing away the tears.

"Why are you crying my hunter?" Cas asked him, looking worried. "Are you hurt?"

"No . . . no . . . you're just so beautiful Cas. And I love you so much." Cas looked as if he only half-believed him, but kissed him anyway. On the day of the show Cas ended up dancing before Dean, he went on, danced a brilliant Samba with Meg, and then got off stage and stood by the cameras, watching the other contestants. The last thing on Dean's mind was contemporary as the reel started up.

_"I'm not sure if I'll return there when this is over. I might go back to Austin with my new boyfriend, Castiel." _Dean had been pondering all week if this had been a good decision, but as soon as he heard the words leave his own mouth, he knew. He looked out at the audience. Faces of shock, faces of rage, faces of adoration. Nigel's mouth was dropped open much like Kat's had, Mary looked like she would scream in joy, and Lil C just looked worried. Dean preformed his routine and messed up quite a lot, despite having nailed the moves in practice. When they were through they went over to the judges table.

"That was quite a confession you made there Dean." Nigel started. Dean smiled and tried to play off the panic in his heart.

"I know, I just couldn't keep it a secret any longer." Dean said, his arm still wrapped around Jo.

"Well I think it's just adorable!" Mary shrilled. Lil C nodded, going along with her, but the look on his face was still worried.

"Well So You Think You Can Dance has always brought people together. We wish you the best of luck. Your dance tonight . . . your lines weren't straight, you missed a step, you nearly dropped Jo at one point . . . what was going on?" Dean felt disappointment seep through him at Nigel's words.

"I know sir. I think I was just a bit distracted."

"It happens to everyone at some point, I just hope it isn't your undoing on this show." Nigel told him.

"I agree with Nigel, we have seen much better from you. Focus next week!" Mary told him.

"I hope your new relationship isn't distracting you too much." Lil C added. Dean nodded and took the harsh criticism that he knew he deserved. Jo squeezed his hand, they promoted their vote numbers, and walked off stage. Dean almost didn't want to see Cas. He almost wanted to run back on stage and stay there, like maybe that would make it so that he wouldn't know Cas's reaction. As soon as he got back stage, everyone cleared the way for him like they already knew what would happen, shooting him sad glances, or sometimes a shocked expression. Everyone except one person.

"I always knew you were a fagot." Alistair said, his voice slow and drawling, as if he were enjoying the moment too much.

"Get away." Dean warned him, his voice dark and dangerous.

"I don't take orders from homos." Alistair sneered, getting in Dean's personal space.

"Alistair, don't mess with me, seriously." He wanted to get to Cas, to make sure Cas was okay. He wanted to get this over with, but Alistair was preventing him. He tried to side step him, but Alistair just got in his way again.

"Why not, homo boy? Are you going to rape me too?" Dean finally gave in, finally leaned in close to Alistair, so only he and Alistair could hear his next words.

"You're really one to talk about rape you disgusting creature." Dean told him, his voice dripping poison.

"What do you-,"

"I mean I know what you tried to do to Kevin, and if you lay a hand on him again, I swear, I'll kick your ass." Alistair looked angered for a moment, before his sly grin crossed his face.

"Maybe," he whispered dangerously, "I won't go for Kevin next time, maybe I'll go for that little slice you've been rutting against."

"Try touching a hair on his head and I'll send you back to hell where you came from." Dean gritted through his teeth, a hand clamped on his shoulder and pulled him away. He was expecting Cas, but he turned to see Jo.

"Not now Dean." She told him. He shrugged her off and finally walked around Alistair, walked towards Cas.

Cas stood in the back, his hands clenched into fists at his sides. He looked destroyed. Dean's heart sank.

"Cas-, I had to . . ." Dean told him, reaching out for him. "I'm sorry. I tried to find a way to tell you but . . ."

"That's why you cried." Cas said, not looking at him. "Because you knew."

"Cas-," Dean wanted his eyes, wanted Cas to look at him, instead of past him. But as soon as he wished for that he regretted it, because finally the cold blue eyes were upon him, pinning him down.

"You knew I would never be with you again after that." Dean felt the world shattering around him.

"Cas no . . . we can find a way . . ."

"A way to what Dean? You knew I wouldn't like that. I specifically told you not to." The thing that was scary about angry Cas, was that he didn't yell, Cas growled, and whispered, but he didn't yell. He stayed almost deadly calm, but his hands shook a little. "You know what's ironic about that little message, Dean? There was no point in making it, because as soon as it was said that you had a boyfriend, you wouldn't anymore." Cas turned and walked away, and Dean was left feeling empty. He didn't care that there were eyes on him, he didn't care that everyone could see him, he stood there, feeling for all the world like he had just lost a chunk of his soul.

When he got back to the house, all of Cas's things were gone from the room. He was bunking with Kevin now, Kevin's room empty after Balthazar left. They were over. They were really over. Dean fell onto the bed and lay there, willing tears to come but they never did. Eventually he walked over to the fridge and grabbed a beer and drank it. Then another, then another. His ring tone stopped him for a moment.

"Sammy?" He answered, dreading this conversation. He had thought briefly about what his brother would think, about what Bobby would think, but he knew Bobby wouldn't care . . . Sam . . .

"Are you okay?" Sam asked him.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean how'd Cas take it?" Dean decided to use his tactic to change the subject.

"How'd you take it?" there was a snort through the line.

"Dean I already knew, and I didn't give a crap."

"You . . . knew?" Dean asked, surprised.

"Yeah, it was obvious to anyone who was around you for more than five minutes. You two are disgustingly in love." Dean closed his eyes, taking in the words. _In love. _

"Yeah well. Maybe not anymore."

"Uh oh . . . that bad huh?"

"Bad." Dean didn't feel like he was capable of saying anything more.

"He'll come around, just wait."

"I don't think so Sammy."

"He will." Sammy told him. Dean sighed and had a bit more of conversation before hanging up, leaving him alone with his beer and his broken heart.

**Castiel: **

He couldn't believe Dean. He had told him so many times that he didn't want to share himself with the world. When he went on stage that night for the results show, he danced his heart out, trying to lose himself in the moves and not think about the pain in his heart. Kevin had heard what happened and let them bunk together easily enough, he hadn't even said anything about the situation, except for one time, he had shook his head and said softly,

"That was a douche bag move of Dean." Castiel just nodded quietly. In all honesty, he didn't want to talk about it. He already felt exposed enough, and now that Dean was the one that had exposed him he had no one to talk to about it. He could probably talk to Kevin, or Meg, but he didn't want to. The only person he wanted to talk to was the one that had betrayed him. He sat quietly, reading a book, and when he wasn't doing that he was dancing.

The results went unexpected. Castiel ended up in the top, with Dean. He stood there next to Dean, trying not to let his body language or face give away the truth. The reason that they were in the top was the reason they weren't together. He tried to be a good actor, and as soon as he walked off stage his face crumpled and Meg was there, hugging him and rubbing his back soothingly.

"I know, unicorn. I know it hurts. You did good though, don't let them see you cry." He just held her quietly and didn't say anything.

That week Chuck got voted off with Jo. Dean looked upset, and Castiel's first reaction was to go to him, but he held his hands quietly by his side. When Jo came over to hug him she squeezed him tightly.

"I'm sorry about everything." She told him.

"It wasn't your fault. I'm sorry to see you go." Jo laughed through her tears.

"We'll see each other again, Cas."

"Of course we will Jo." She patted his back.

"See you on the other side." And then she was gone. Castiel and Kevin went back to the house, and Castiel couldn't even bring himself to read. He found himself staring off into space. They didn't have any dances to practice until tomorrow, but he felt the need to move.

"Have you eaten anything today?"

"Hmm? Oh. I guess I forgot." Castiel told Kevin, who had broke his trance.

"You need to eat food bro." Kevin told him, worriedly.

"I'm fine Kevin. I think I'm going to head to the studio and dance a bit."

"We don't have anything to practice!" Kevin said.

"There's always something to dance to." Castiel got changed, got his gym bag, and left. "I'll be back later, I hope I don't wake you up." Kevin shrugged.

"You probably won't. Just get some food while you're out." Castiel nodded in agreement but felt like he could do no such thing. Eating seemed to repulse him.

When he got to the studio he played the song that had been running around his head all day, and let himself go to the music.

**Dean: **

He had to talk to Cas. He couldn't stand beside him on stage, acting for all the world like he was happy, like he was okay, when they were both really falling apart. He had to know Cas would be alright, he had to win him back somehow. He knocked on Kevin's door. Kevin answered it, rubbing his eyes.

"Ugh. What are you waking me up for?" Kevin groaned, leaning against the door frame.

"I have to talk to Cas, where is he?!"

"Dean he probably doesn't want to talk to you."

"Kevin," He let the desperation he had been holding in all day finally show in his eyes, "I have to talk to him." Kevin groaned again.

"If he gets mad at me, I'm coming after you."

"Fine, where is he?"

"He went to the studio to dance."

"We don't have anything to practice." Dean said, staring off into space. The night of the results show they never danced, they took it as their resting night.

"That's what I said but he just gave me some bullshit like, 'there's always something to dance to." Dean couldn't help the small smile that played across his face.

"That sounds like him. Okay, thanks Kev." He turned and tried not to run down the hallway.

When he got to the studio, music was pouring from their favorite room. He walked towards the door cautiously, realizing now that he was here that he had no idea what to say. When he got to the room, he stood and watched Cas, his breath caught in his throat. Cas's eyes were closed, he was moving like Dean had never seen him move before. He was telling a story. The beat of the song and the words, combined with his movements told the story of a broken heart.

_Oh I built a world around you_

_Oh you had me in a dream I lived in _

_every word you said_

_the stars had aligned I thought that I found you_

_but I don't wanna love somebody else_

Dean's eyes started to burn with tears, and he couldn't think of anything to do. He watched as Cas moved across the floor, spinning, jumping into the air, looking broken. His face was thinner looking, and when Dean did catch a glimpse of his beautiful eyes, they were red with tears. Dean felt a tear slide down his own cheek. The song was slow and beautiful and he had never heard anything more sad in his entire existence.

_Oh we left it all unspoken_

_oh we buried it alive and now it's screaming in my head_

_oh I shouldn't go on hopin' _

_oh that you would change your mind and one day we could start again_

_well I don't care if loneliness kills me,_

_I don't wanna love somebody else_

Dean knew the words of this song were directed solely at him. Suddenly, he could see the entire thing from Cas's perspective, he could feel the hurt, the betrayal that he knew Cas was experiencing. He knew he had hurt Cas, but he didn't know unto what degree until he saw Cas moving across the floor, until he heard the destroyed voice of the singer that he knew would haunt him for days to come.

_Oh I thought that I could change you_

_oh I thought that we would be the greatest story that I tell_

_I know that it's time to tell you it's over_

_but I don't wanna love somebody else_

This was it then. This was Cas breaking up with him. He would've broken up with himself at this point. He wanted to crumple to the floor and cry until his tears ran dry, he wanted to run to Cas and beg his forgiveness, and hold him until he wasn't broken anymore, but the only word that escaped his mouth was a choked,

"Cas . . ." Cas whipped around to face Dean, his eyes full of heartbreak.

"Dean, you're not supposed to be here." He said, his voice hoarse. Now that he wasn't moving, Dean could see that Cas's tears were fresh, his cheeks wet.

"Cas I had to talk to you . . . I . . . is that how you feel?" He gestured towards the dance floor.

"Yes." Cas told him, looking down.

"I am so sorry." Dean said, his hands were shaking and he balled them up into fists to stop it.

"That doesn't matter, the damage has been done." Cas said, still not looking at him.

"Cas . . . if I could do anything to take it back-,"

"Well you can't." Cas looked up and his eyes burned into Dean's. "It's over Dean." Cas went to pick up his iPod, and grabbed his bag, and pushed past Dean to leave. Dean held onto his shoulder and pushed him back, so they were facing each other. Looking at Cas this close hurt Dean worse, he could see how utterly destroyed the man was. Dean pulled him into a kiss by the base of his neck, one hand scrunching up in Cas's shirt. Cas kissed him back with a finality. This was going to be their last kiss. Dean tried to make it last, but finally Cas seemed to gather his wits and push Dean away, his breath coming out in strangled sobs.

"I love you Cas." Dean said, his voice coming out even more broken.

"I love you too. Goodbye Dean." and then he was gone, leaving Dean alone in the studio, wishing he could somehow fix it all.


	15. Break Your Plans

**First off, I'm very excited about this chapter because of the song in it (Break Your Plans by The Fray) is the song that inspired me to write this fic in the first place, it took me forever to find it, but eventually I did and I was so happy. Secondly, there is a bit of creepiness happening in this chapter, nothing I would condone or agree with . . . I just wrote it in because it seemed to go well with the story, but I'm just warning you. Creepiness. And also a lot of awful awful things said about gay people which I obviously do not agree with. Once again I said them to be realistic. Because if someone came out as gay on national TV, even with something like dance, there is still bound to be those asshats that say awful things and send death threats, which is wrong, and I hate those people, but I'm attempting realism. So now that I've bored you to death, here's the next chapter! **

**Chapter Fifteen: Break Your Plans **

**Castiel: **

Of all the bad weeks Castiel had ever had, this might have topped them. The week started with threats and disgusting posts on E news about him and Dean that he tried to ignore. He got hate mail, something he knew might happen if he was on this show, but he hadn't expected like this. Things like

"_We hope you go to hell fagot" _and "_All sinners will pay." _Castiel's hands shook while he read them, the emails, the texts. He didn't know how his personal information was leaked like his, but he supposed if people were desperate enough, anything was available. Kevin eventually had to come up and take his phone from him, and switch off the TV.

"It doesn't matter dude. You're a great dancer, and a great person. Just ignore them. You're not going to hell for being in love." Castiel shakily nodded but still said nothing. Kevin sighed. "You've been quiet for days now, and you need to eat food. Stop this . . . this Bella Swan depression, it's disgusting. C'mon, we're going out!"

"But I don't want-,"

"I don't care! Put on pants and shoes and lets go!" Castiel grudgingly agreed. They didn't have a good time, Castiel was still mopey, but he did realize how hungry he was and ate plenty. Kevin talked enough for the both of them and it wasn't awful. Castiel just wished Dean was there. He wished Dean had never let it slip about them so that Dean could be there. Reporters came up and started snapping pictures of them, paparazzi asked questions,

"Is Kevin your new boyfriend?"

"Where's Dean?"

"How long have you known you were gay?" Castiel couldn't find it in himself to do anything but stare, and Kevin fended them off.

"No we're just friends, he's wherever he wants to be, mind your own damn business!" Kevin paid the waitress and they left in a hurry to escape the paparazzi. They got back to the house and settled down for bed. They were comfortable with each other. Kevin wasn't under the delusion that Castiel would try and sleep with any man around, plus he knew Castiel was heartbroken, and Castiel knew Kevin was straight, and young. They weren't attracted to each other at all. Once they were both already laying down, Castiel decided he was thirsty and got up for a glass of water. He padded down the dark hall alone. He looked longingly at the door that used to be his, knowing Dean was on the other side. For a moment he almost knocked, but he realized he had nothing to say. He lowered his hand. It was better this way, he knew. He continued down the hall. When he got downstairs he stood in the empty kitchen by himself, leaning up against the counter and drinking from his glass. He was staring off into space, thinking about Dean, when he could swear he saw one of the shadows move.

"Is anybody there?" He asked, gripping the glass tighter. No, surely it was his imagination. There was no one there. Then, a body knocked into his, causing him to drop the glass and have it shatter, some of the pieces painfully landing in his foot. Someone pinned him up against the counter, knocking his breath out of him. He wanted to scream, but a hand covered his mouth. A large, calloused hand.

"Don't say a word." A husky, low voice whispered. "Shh . . . just be quiet and this will all be over quickly." Alistair. Castiel kicked out, thrashed, but the strong arms held him still. This was it. He couldn't escape. "I figured you two were homos, but I didn't know for sure until Dean's little announcement." Alistair told him, licking Castiel's neck, his stubble rubbing against Castiel's skin painfully. Castiel made a noise, and Alistair stepped on his bloodied foot. Tears streamed in Castiel's eyes as white hot pain wrapped up his leg. He tried to bite at Alistair's hand, but nothing seemed to work. He was trapped. "I'm going to do such things to you, pretty boy."

"HEY!" A voice rang out. Something jerked Alistair back off of him and threw him against the sink. Dean was like a swift shadow, thrashing Alistair, punching his face once, twice, kneeing him hard in the groin, and throwing him onto the floor. "I TOLD YOU IF YOU TOUCHED A HAIR ON HIS HEAD, I WOULD KILL YOU, YOU BASTARD!" Castiel stood in terror and watched for a moment, unable to move. He was afraid of both men in the room. He had never seen Dean so angry. Finally, he lurched forward and grabbed onto Dean's elbow.

"Dean . . ." Dean stilled, allowing himself to be pulled back. "If you hurt him, you'll be kicked out too." Dean turned on him.

"Are you okay?" He asked, his voice all concern, he leaned close to Castiel and put a hand on his cheek. Castiel couldn't help but lean into it a bit.

"My foot is hurt and my back might be bruised, but he didn't hurt me too bad."

"I'm calling the police. You're not Kevin, we're telling." Castiel didn't argue, this had gotten out of hand. The police came, arrested Alistair for assault, and let Dean go for defending Castiel. The ambulance bandaged up Castiel's foot, he escaped having to get stitches but he did have to get all the glass picked out, and it hurt to walk for a bit. Dean stood by and watched the entire time, not leaving him until he was safe in Kevin's room. By this time the other dancers had heard about it, and all of them had gathered around. Meg held his hand as they picked the glass out, Ruby and Lilith stood by and glared at everyone, Kevin sat by Castiel, looking up wearily at Dean, but somehow looking relieved as well. Charlie and Dean stood together and talked in low voices. When the night was finally over, Castiel slept heavily, with nightmares of Alistair grabbing at him in the dark. He wanted nothing more than to limp down the hall and press himself into Dean's arms, but he knew he couldn't. He just lay awake in bed, shuddering into the night.

**Dean: **

"You know it's not fair right?" Dean looked up from the floor in the kitchen, he had been staring at the place the broken glass had been the night before. Someone had cleaned it up. Ruby stood there, her arms crossed.

"What's not fair?" Dean grunted, peeling his apple with a knife.

"You sharing that little tidbit placed you two at the top. That's not fair. You didn't even dance well last week! Your partner went home because of you!" Ruby accused him. Dean closed his eyes, wishing he has paired up with anyone else but Ruby. He'd even take Lilith.

"Sorry sweetheart, that's just the way things are."

"The other dancers are mad too!" She came around the counter and he moved away.

"Really? No one's complained to me so far."

"They are. Everyone knows you gave Castiel and yourself an unfair advantage."

"If my advantage is love, I don't really see that being unfair." Dean bit into his apple and escaped the kitchen, Ruby called out after him,

"See you in practice, _partner._" Dean groaned into his apple and took the stairs two at a time, trying to avoid her. He hadn't seen Cas today. He seemed pretty shaken up last night, and Dean had tried to go to him, but Charlie had stopped him, saying he'd done enough. He looked at his angel, sitting with his foot bandaged and his eyes red and downcast, and known that Cas had needed him, but there was nothing he could do.

Dean went to practice that day and group practice, where he saw Cas. They were a small group now, only seven dancers. The group number this week was about everyone having an inner demon, they danced to "Demons" by Imagine Dragons. Dean couldn't help but feeling like the plot hit a little close to home, but he danced it anyway. Castiel danced a little differently, clearly favoring one foot, and the Travis Wall, the choreographer asked if he was okay to dance at all. The room stopped and everyone looked at Cas.

"I'm fine. This should heal in a day or two and I'll be back on track." Cas answered, but his bandages were red where the wounds had opened up again. Travis nodded his consent and then told Cas to go see to his foot and take it easy for the next few days. There was a replacement all-star sent in to dance with Lilith, as Alistair would not be returning to the competition. She danced with Neil. Dean couldn't help but think that was a little unfair. Dean's dance was a foxtrot with Ruby, and while Ruby was a good dancer, she was a bitch. Dean hated being around her for more than a few seconds at a time, let alone hours. She was constantly picking on him, pressing his buttons. Dean tried to ignore it the best he could but she was always in his face. After all the practice for the day was done, Dean and Charlie went to go get something to eat, and then headed back to the studio to do more practice. Kevin and Meg were there, but Cas was nowhere to be seen.

He didn't show up for their practices for the rest of the week. He still came to group practice, and did his routine practice with Meg, but that was all Dean saw of him. By the time the show rolled around for that week, Dean was going crazy.

"Meg," He said, pulling her aside, "Please talk to him for me. Please let him know I'm sorry." Meg bit her lip.

"I'll try Dean. But not for you." She said, pulling away from him. "For him. He's only happy when he's with you. This is killing him." Dean took what he could get and let her go.

**Castiel: **

It was the day of the week seven competition, Castiel and Meg were warming up. Meg was stretching her legs, and abruptly stopped, walked over to him, and sat down beside him.

"Unicorn, you have to let this go." She told him, smiling her small little smile at him. Castiel was taken aback.

"What are you talking about?" Meg put a hand on his arm.

"I'm talking about Dean. He only did this because he wanted to help you. He was stupid about it, and he shouldn't have done it. But his heart was in the right place." Castiel sighed and relaxed his body.

"I know they were. I just . . . I can't help but feel betrayed." Castiel told her. It felt good to finally talked to someone, and he only realized right then that he should have done it earlier.

"That's understandable. But he didn't betray you, in the end he helped you." Castiel looked down at his foot, the scars were still red and puffy, but they were healing. He thought about all the damage this had caused in his life already, besides just his broken heart. But then he thought about the fact that he was in the top last week, and he had to decide for himself which one was more important. "I texted Luci you know." Castiel looked up quizzically.

"You what?"

"I texted him, and told him how I felt." Meg was looking away, her cheeks stained red with blush.

"How did it go?" She blinked, a tear sliding down her cheek.

"He said He could never be with me, that he deserved to be here instead of me, and that I was just scum he was using to climb to the top." Castiel gasped.

"That assbutt!" He said seriously. "You deserve to be here a million times more than he does! You're incredible Meg!" Castiel told her. She looked up at him and smiled again.

"Thanks. My point is, don't let him go. I had a crush, and he turned out to be a bad guy. Dean isn't a bad guy, he's a good guy to his core. Don't let him go." Meg squeezed his hand and then got up and started stretching again like nothing had ever happen. Castiel felt like a weight had been lifted off of him.

The show went well as it always did. The next day the results were out. Castiel was still in the top, Meg and Dean were in the bottom, next to Lilith and Kevin. The judges decided they were only sending one person home this week, and Lilith, Dean, Meg, and Kevin all had to solo. Castiel stood at the foot of the stage, watching. Meg soloed perfectly, her dance was enticing, she walked off the stage with confidence. Kevin's solo was brilliant as well, entertaining, the kid was really coming out of his shell. He left the entire audience smiling and clapping. Lilith's solo was alright, Castiel was hoping she'd get voted off this week. And then there was Dean. He had picked to dance to "Break Your Plans" by the Fray. The song was beautiful, and unlike Dean's regular routines, it was not in his genre, it was actually contemporary. Dean stepped out onto the stage and looked directly at Castiel. Castiel felt his breath catch in his throat as the song started up.

_What if you don't . . ._

_What if you stay_

_and break your plans tonight_

_lay your hand in mine_

_There's no guarantee we'll make it_

_or make this thing right_

_break your plans for me tonight_

The solo only lasted thirty seconds, but as soon as it was over, Dean's eyes met Castiel's again. Castiel gulped and nodded, and Dean grinned on stage and ran off, leaping into the audience and grabbing Castiel's face in his and kissing him. For once, Castiel didn't care. He wrapped his arms around Dean and kissed him back with all the passion he had been missing the past week. The audience was in an uproar, clapping rang out around them, Kat and Mary and even Nigel were all clapping and making exclamations of adorableness, Mary's was really closer to a squee. When they broke away they grinned at each other for a moment before looking around them, seeing that their friends were clapping and smiling too, a few people were brushing away tears. Castiel pulled Dean in for a quick kiss and then the show moved on. Lilith was the only person that went home that week, and only Ruby was even slightly sad to see her go. Castiel and Dean stood back stage, their hands twined together.

"I'm so sorry, Cas." Dean told him. His eyes looked like he hadn't been sleeping much either.

"I forgive you Dean. But you can't go making big decisions like that anymore." He leaned in and kissed him again. "Not by yourself. We're a couple now. We're in this together." Dean smiled at him and ran a hand through his hair.

"Okay angel. Deal."


	16. Turning Page

**Chapter Sixteen: Turning Page**

**Castiel: **

That night when they got home, Dean helped Castiel move all his things back into their room. Dean had actually cleaned, the room was neat and tidy, just how Castiel preferred it. When they were done moving everything they went downstairs and Castiel cooked dinner for Dean, Meg, Kevin, and Charlie. He made herb roasted chicken with mashed potatoes and baked vegetables. They drank a bottle of wine and laughed and had a good time, Castiel and Dean sitting close together and even sharing a few kisses in front of their friends, who crooned over the adorableness of it all. When they were done with dinner everyone retired to their rooms for bedtime.

As soon as the door was closed Dean jumped Castiel, pushing him up against it and kissing him heavily. Castiel let out a little noise of surprise but allowed it, kissing him back. Dean ran his hand underneath Castiel's shirt and ripped it off of him, running his hands over Castiel's abdomen and kissing him almost violently. When Dean broke away to attack Castiel's neck, Castiel gasped loudly, Dean started to undo his pants. He squeezed Dean gently around the shoulders.

"Missed you so much angel." Dean murmured against his skin.

"I'm here now." Castiel told him as Dean began to rut against him, pulling off his own shirt, unwrapping them both in an inpatient manner.

"Bed. Now." Dean said, pulling off his pants and pushing Castiel onto the bed. Dean climbed on top of Castiel and bit down on his earlobe. Castiel arched up and moaned in protest.

"Dean you're being kinda . . ." Dean bit him again and Castiel squeaked, "rough." He finished. Dean slammed their mouths together again in response, clearly not caring. Castiel decided maybe it was best to let him ride it out. It's not like he wasn't enjoying himself, but Dean was just moving so fast, almost animal-like in his movements. Castiel's thoughts were confirmed when Dean actually _growled. _Castiel had to admit it was kind of hot. He sat back and let Dean do whatever he wanted to him. He ran his hands up Dean's chest, and Dean pinned his wrists above his head with one hand, grinding down onto Castiel. Castiel moaned lewdly and arched up into Dean again. Dean had somewhere along the way taken off both of their underwear, and now they lay naked against each other, skin sliding on skin. Dean had him prepared fast, and soon thrust into Castiel like he belonged there. In some ways, Castiel knew he did. Dean pounded into him hard, fast, relentlessly. It was unlike any time they had ever made love before, because this wasn't making love, this was sex. Pure and basic angry sex.

Suddenly, Dean was gone, grinning wolfishly down at him. "Dean." Castiel said, demanding.

"What is it angel?"

"What are you doing?" Dean was all of a sudden slow and sweet, licking up Castiel's neck.

"Hmm? What do you mean?"

"I need you." Castiel told him, carding his fingers through Dean's hair. He had been so close and then Dean had pulled out.

"I'm sorry, I don't understand that reference."

"Dean."

"I guess you'll have to tell me what it is you want." Dean said, sweetly. Castiel could've killed him.

"Dean-," He had never been one for dirty talking himself, but that was obviously what Dean was getting at.

"Yes angel?"

"Dean I need you to fuck me right this instant or so help me God I will-," Dean thrust back into him and the rest of Castiel's threat was swallowed up by a loud moan that escaped his mouth. Castiel's hands were knotted up in the sheets at his sides, his toes curled, his back arched. He was lost. He was lost in a sea of green that was Dean's eyes. He was lost in the fact that this was so much different than any time they had had sex before. This time it was like they knew each other for real. Looking into each others eyes it was like a silent understanding passed between them. This time when Dean thrust into him, they both knew. They knew there was no going back, not for real. Before it had been sweet, romantic, puppy love. This time, after they had been apart, they knew. They knew they belong together. So this time when Dean rutted into Castiel, one hand on his hip to keep him steady, and the other intertwined with Castiel's, they knew they would never separate, not really. Castiel was lost. Lost to the rest of the world forever. A sort of melancholy filled him for all of two seconds. He could've done great things, been with other people. He was remind of the quote from _The Great Gatsby,_

"_He knew that when he kissed this girl, and forever wed his unutterable visions of her perishable breath, his mind would never romp again like the mind of God. So he waited, listening for a moment longer to the turning fork that had been struck upon a star. Then he kissed her," (Fitzgerald, 117)._

And then Dean let out a desperate growl of satisfaction and Castiel looked up at the man, his lips parted in ecstasy, and realized, no. This was okay. Wherever he went from here on out, he wouldn't be alone. He had given his soul for Dean Winchester. They were. And always would be, one.

With a few more thrusts Castiel was seeing stars inside Dean's green eyes, and Dean followed along after him, and then collapsed against him. Castiel rubbed Dean's back soothingly as Dean kissed Castiel's chest. "I'm here now." He told Dean again, feeling like maybe Dean just needed to hear the words said again.

"Can we never do the whole 'break up' thing again? Because it was only a week and every second of it felt like I was dying." Castiel thought about it. Was it realistic to say they would _never _break up? Castiel thought of the way he felt now, changed, branded with Dean's imprint on his heart. His soul knew to never break up made perfect sense, but his head still ruled. Then Castiel realized something.

"You know, we never officially decided on being boyfriends."

"Are you asking me out?"

"Officially? Yes."

"Good, I accept." Dean said, chuckling and kissing him lazily. "So no more breaking up?"

"I can't promise you forever, Dean. Not yet."

"Well I can. I can promise you I've never felt this way about anyone before, and I never will again, and I love you with all that I am. But if you need time to decide the same thing, that's okay. We can take it slow, remember? But just know that someday, I plan to put a ring on your finger mister." Castiel looked up at Dean lovingly.

"Did you just propose?" He asked, awe-struck.

"No, I told you of my intention to someday propose. We're supposed to be taking it slow Cas, damn." Castiel laughed and pulled Dean in for another kiss.

That week went by quickly now that they were back together, not at all like the slow, dragging torture that was the week before. There was one more week before the finale and everyone had upped their game even more so. Their hours were spent at the gym or sleeping, there wasn't time for much else. Ruby had even calmed her hostilities due to the fact she was concentrating so hard on her dancing. Dean told Castiel that he hated dancing with her, and that if he had to do a romantic piece with her, he would absolutely die. Luckily for him, their piece was about Dean trying to expose how evil she was, and then kill her. Dean was pleased. Castiel and Meg's routine for this week was about two people who were destined to be together, but right when they realized it, she died. It honestly broke Castiel's heart to hold "dead" Meg in his arms. Even though he was obviously in love with Dean, Castiel did love Meg in a friendship kind of way, and even acting like she was dead destroyed him.

The day of the show came around and Castiel thought their dance was perfection. He actually shed a tear, holding Meg at the end of the dance, and as soon as it was over Meg reached up and wiped it away.

"It's okay unicorn." She whispered as they hugged, and the audience let out a huge applause. They went back stage and watched the rest of the show, getting good reviews from the judges.

The next day came as a shock to Castiel. He and Dean scored in the top, and Meg and Kevin were sent home. Castiel couldn't help feeling like he had let Meg down, like he had done something wrong. He stood beside the stage feeling for all the world gobsmacked. He stared at her as she cried, and hugged Kevin. Then it was time for the dancers to rush the stage and hug everyone goodbye. Castiel was the first one to Meg, he didn't even realize he had been running. He lifted her up in his arms and squeezed her tightly. She cried into his shoulder.

"I'm so sorry, Meg." He told her, "I'm so sorry this is all my fault." She laughed a little.

"Castiel this is a competition, you shouldn't be apologizing. What did you think would happen? We would all win?" Castiel let her go and shook his head.

"Of course not . . . but you were my partner . . . I could've . . ." She put a hand on his cheek.

"No, Cas. There was nothing you could've done. You were the best partner imaginable. Thank you." Castiel nodded, numbly. Dean came up and hugged Meg and she nodded towards Castiel.

"Save my unicorn" She told him. Castiel let out a chuckle and shook his head, and then hugged Kevin goodbye.

"I'm sorry to see you go, special K." He told him. Kevin shrugged.

"It sucks that I got this close to the end, and then I got cut. But it was an amazing journey." Dean hugged Kevin and then the two walked out of their lives, to return next week for the final top twenty group number, well, the top nineteen since Alistair wouldn't be allowed to return.

That night when they lay in bed, Meg's words struck Castiel. _What did you think would happen? We would all win? _He turned to Dean, who was half asleep.

"Dean . . . one of us is going to lose." He had known all along that this was true, but he hadn't thought about it much until now.

"That's the idea of it." Dean mumbled, rubbing his eyes.

"What happens if . . . if one of us wins?"

"Yaayyy." Dean said, clearly wanting to fall asleep and have this conversation tomorrow, but Castiel wasn't having it.

"We're going to be okay right? If one of us loses? We won't be like Luci and Meg . . . you know she texted him and told him how she felt and he said he could never be with her because she advanced further in the competition than him?"

"Asshat." Dean mumbled, his eyes closed. Castiel nudged him and saw Dean's eyes snap open.

"Dean, I mean it. I don't want us to fall apart. Not again. Not so soon." Dean gathered Castiel into his arms and kissed his forehead.

"Angel I promised you forever, didn't I?"

"Yes but-,"

"So what if one of us wins this stupid competition? We've both been working towards it for months, we both deserve it enough. It'll just mean we'll both win. We will both celebrate together, and then go off and live in a mansion somewhere. Sammy will just have to get through school on scholarships if it's you, and that's fine, the kid's damn smart enough. I can promise you, at least on my end, there will be absolutely no hard feelings." Castiel nodded.

"I would never harbor any resentments towards you either."

"Is that nerd talk for 'I love you'?" Castiel laughed a little and kissed Dean.

"I love you." Castiel told him.

"I love you too. Now go to sleep, and quit worrying about everything." Castiel tried, he really did, but he couldn't escape his worry. He wasn't afraid of Dean winning, he knew he himself would never be mad about that. He was worried about winning. Dean might say forever now . . . but Dean had shown in the past he was extremely competitive. Even if he didn't show it right away, would this put a damper on their relationship in the time to come? Castiel drifted off to sleep with the worry on his mind.

**Dean: **

Dean wasn't worried at all about one of them winning. He was excited. He hoped beyond hope that Castiel would win, God knows he deserved it. The next day when they entered the studio, there was a surprise waiting for them. It was Mia Michaels. Her hands were clasped in front of her mouth and she was grinning excitedly.

"What's going on? Dean asked, Charlie and Ruby were nowhere to be seen.

"You two . . ." Mia took a big dramatic breath, milking it for the camera that was beside her. "You two are going to dance a routine together." Dean didn't think he had ever felt more excitement in his life.

"NO WAY!" He screamed, latching onto Cas's hand. Cas looked just as excited.

"This is wonderful!" He exclaimed. Mia nodded.

"Are you ready to hear what it's about?"

"Hell yes!" Dean answered for both of them.

"We can change it if you're uncomfortable with it . . . but at this point it's kind of late to pick another routine."

"We'll dance to anything you want us to." Dean told her quickly, Castiel shot him a look as if asking, _anything? Really? _And Dean let himself imagine the horrific possibilities. "Well. Almost anything."

"This routine is about a book that tells a story. You two are pages in the book, and you come alive to tell it. The story is your story. The story of Dean and Castiel." Dean's mind was blown. The idea was amazing, it was revolutionary. It was . . . very personal. Dean looked over at Cas.

"What do you think?" He asked, not wanting to make decisions for both of them. Cas smiled.

"I think . . . I think it's about time I shared some of my story." Cas looked at Dean lovingly. "Of our story."

They still each had a routine to do with their partner. Charlie was a talented dancer, but it took Castiel a while to adjust to her. Then there was the group routines, there was to be one with the final four, and one with the top nineteen. By the end of the week Dean was exhausted. His head swam with choreography and different instructor's voices. He had nightmares about the judges flipping over their table and screaming at him. But Castiel's nightmares were worse still, they were of himself winning. He held tighter to Dean now, like Dean did to him before he revealed they were together, as if committing every precious moment to memory before they were all snatched away. Dean reassured him constantly that they would be okay, but he could tell Castiel didn't quite believe him.

Still the best part of the week for Dean was practicing their routine together. It would be set to "Turning Pages" by Sleeping At Last, and it was a contemporary routine. Cas danced it like one would breathe, natural and effortlessly. Dean struggled a little bit but Cas helped him through it, encouraging him the entire time.

"You're amazing Dean." Cas told him constantly, kissing him sweetly in between moves. Dean was just glad his dance with Ruby would be hip hop so he would have a moment to shine during the finale. Not shining for a minute was okay with him though, because Cas was shining bright enough for both of them.

Dean stood back stage in his costume, he wore lose fitting white pants and a white shirt with words printed all over them. The words also covered his skin, on top of the paint. He was covered head to toe in white paint and words, to look like he was popping out of a book. There was a giant book laid out behind the stage with two cut outs in each side, one for him and one for Cas. Dean looked down at his arms and read the words there. They would be too small for the audience to see, but they were important nonetheless. Cas and him had picked them out. Mia had asked them both to write each other, both of them telling their story to each other. The letters had been transcribed on their skin. Dean wore Cas's letter, and Cas wore his. His arms read,

"_I saw you dancing and I was in awe. You were brilliant. I wanted nothing more than to befriend you. When we met for group week I was so distraught that you didn't seem to like me very much." _His chest read "_I love your green eyes, the way they smile, the way they laugh. I love the way your freckles dust over your skin. I love the way you are always here for me . . ." _Dean smiled down at himself, literally a portrait of Cas's love. Cas came up to him in the same costume, but with Dean's words across his skin. He squeezed his hand, not smearing any of the paint as it had already dried and was designed to be touched without rubbing off.

"Are you ready?" Cas asked, tilting his head to one side. Dean smiled at him.

"You know, I might be just a tad bit nervous." Dean told him. Cas turned around and pointed at his back. Dean's words were written there.

"_And if you ever get nervous, remember, just breathe." _Dean's eyes teared up.

"I feel like I've been waiting my entire life to do this dance with you." Cas smiled at him, his blue eyes looking more intense with the white paint surrounding them.

"As soon as I can I'm going to kiss you. I just wanted you to be prepared. I know this kind of paint isn't supposed to rub off . . . but with the kissing I plan to do . . ."

"No complaints here angel face." Dean said, reaching out and stroking over the words on Cas's cheekbone.

"_My angel" _

"Dean, Cas, get in place!" Cas squeezed his hand again.

"I'll see you soon, my hunter."

"Very soon." The lights were out, they both got in their sides of the book and were wheeled out onto stage while the reel sounded behind them. It was a reel of them practicing the entire week, of them spending time together behind the scenes, of them kissing the week before when Dean had jumped off stage. Dean smiled as he heard their voices, and then took a deep breath as he got into character. _Be the book. Be the page. _He had to resist the urge to laugh again. The music started and they both sat up, out of the book at different times, until the lyrics came on and they both jumped out of the book.

_I've waited a hundred years_

_I'd wait a million more_

_for you _

_Nothing prepared me for_

_What the privilege of being yours would do_

The beginning of their story: Of seeing each other preform in Austin, of meeting at Vegas week and Dean pushing him away.

_If I had only felt the warmth within your touch_

_if I had only seen how you smile when you blush_

_or how you curl your lip when you concentrate enough_

_I would've known what I was living for all along_

_what I've been living for _

Dean pushed him down and then helped him back up, they started to become friends, Dean shared himself with Cas a little bit.

_Your love is my turning page, _

_only the sweetest words remain_

_every kiss is a cursive line_

_every touch is a redefining phrase_

They practiced dancing together, they started to slowly come to terms with their feelings for each other.

_I surrender who I've been_

_for who you are_

_nothing makes me stronger than your fragile heart_

_if I had only felt how it feels to be yours _

_I would've known what I've been living for all along_

They finally came together, dancing and moving as one. Dean spun Cas around on stage and brought him down slowly, they came in for a near kiss, and then broke away dancing across the stage together. They broke up after Dean confessed too much, and then finally came back together, this time it was Dean that got lifted, Cas held him up with one hand, and then they both ran to opposite sides of the stage, spun around slowly, and ran back to each other, Cas launching himself into Dean's arms for the finale, and then putting his hands on the sides of Dean's face and kissing him passionately. For a moment Dean forgot this was supposed to be a dance, he forgot he was on stage. All he knew was Cas's lips. He kissed him back sweetly, wrapping his arms around Castiel's waist. Only Kat's voice stopped them.

"That was so so beautiful!" She screamed, rushing towards them. They broke apart and looked out over the audience. Many people were crying, most people were crying and standing up and screaming. The judges were standing and clapping, Mary's face wet with tears.

"I don't even think that needs to be judged!" Nigel said. "I think my coworker can properly describe how we all feel about that!" Mary screamed shrilly and Cas and Dean both laughed, their arms around each other. "That was amazing, the best I've seen from either of you. And wonderful choreography Mia! Probably my favorite routine of the season!" Nigel said.

"Your story was beautiful boys!" Mary finished up for him. They ran off stage and got all their paint washed off of them. They did the group numbers, Dean was happy to be on stage with all of his friends again, and then did their other routines with their partners. Dean enjoyed killing Ruby, even if it was fake. The entire night was a success, in Dean's mind. That night they went home and geared up for the last results show they would ever have. They held each other, Dean totally confident that they would be okay, and Cas terrified they would never be the same.

**Yep, apart from quoting almost an ENTIRE song in this chapter (I'm sorry I just felt like the entire thing applied) I added a last minute quote from another one of my favorite books, The Great Gatsby. I was trying to think of a way to say what I meant, and nothing can beat the pure poetry of Fitzgerald's words, that is one of my favorite quotes from the book, besides "And so we beat on, boats against the current, borne back, ceaselessly into the past" (Which I will probably get tattooed soon) If you didn't understand the reason for the quote, what the quote means, or just want to talk some Gatsby with me, let me know in a review. I hope y'all liked this chapter, sadly the LAST one is up tomorrow, it breaks my heart.**


	17. It Ends on a Breath

**Chapter Seventeen: It Ends On a Breath**

** Castiel: **

"I can't do this. I can't do this." He chanted to no one as he stood backstage, his hands gripping his hair. He hadn't even realized Dean had come up behind him until a hand was on the center of his back.

"Yes you can." Dean wrapped his arms around Castiel from behind and hugged him, rocking them both a little bit. "Deep breaths angel."

"Dean . . ." Castiel was tearing up now. "What if I win?"

"Then I'll be there right beside you, just like we promised." Castiel forced himself to take deep breaths. The show was built up. There was one more group number to preform, and then musical guests. After the musical guests, two people would be eliminated. They were dancing the fan favorites of the season as a recap, and then the results would be announced.

The group number went smoothly, the top four moved together like a well oiled machine. They had been working together so long now it was as if all of them had some sort of ESP, they each knew where the other would be and when, especially Dean and Castiel. Castiel discovered it was genuinely more fun when he danced with people he had worked with for a long time. More than anything he wished Meg were here to dance with them. The musical guests went on while the dancers got changed in the back. They all four stood together, looking at each other silently for a moment. Charlie's eyes were large and worried, Ruby retained her cold glare, and Dean was smiling.

"No matter what happens-,"

"Save the bullshit." Ruby snapped.

"We kill her first." Dean finished, smirking in Ruby's direction, "Oh wait, I already did once this week."

"BOOM bitch!" Charlie screamed, waving her hands in the air erratically.

"Shut the fuck up." Ruby sneered at her. Castiel rolled his eyes and put a hand on Dean's back, just a silent reassurance. He was here. They were called on stage.

The lights dimmed, Nigel's voice started to speak, but Castiel zoned out his words. There was a reel of all of them dancing in turn going on behind them, and Castiel could see it in the camera's reflection. Turning page was on last, Castiel smiled fondly at the screen. That had been his favorite dance in the entire show. No matter what happened tonight, he would always carry that with him.

"Charlie and Ruby, I'm sorry, but you are eliminated from the competition." Nigel said. Castiel looked up in horror. _No. _This means he was automatically pitted against Dean. No matter what, one of them would win and one of them would lose. There was a moment of stillness, a moment of silence. Castiel hugged Charlie, who was closest to him. And then Ruby was stamping and screaming.

"ARE YOU FUC-," Dean swooped in and picked her up, hugging her tightly to himself, causing her to silence.

"It's okay Ruby. We'll miss you. I know you're excited for us." Ruby started to swing at him but Castiel and Charlie caught on and did a giant group hug, forcing Ruby to be still. They shuffled her off stage and finally Dean sat her down. She slapped him instantly, the crack sounding across the backstage. Dean glared at her but it was Castiel who jumped on her, getting in her personal bubble.

"You idiot, he saved you from being in big trouble with the studio, and looking like a moron for the rest of your life. The least you could do is thank him, but since that won't be happening, get out of my sight. _Now." _Ruby opened her mouth to speak but Charlie beat her to it,

"Peace out, bitch!" She yelled. She turned to them. "That's my cue to leave as well. Bye guys, it was nice working with ya." She hugged them both and walked off.

"Are you okay?" Castiel asked Dean, pressing a hand to Dean's cheek. Dean smiled at him, leaning into Castiel's palm.

"I'm fine. It's not the first time I've been slapped by a girl before." He said. Castiel chuckled.

"You'll have to tell me about that sometime." Dean leaned in close, so they shared breath.

"Are you okay? We're the top two . . ."

"I'm fine. Still worried as ever but . . ."

"I love you." Dean told him, kissing him harshly. Castiel held him and kissed him back.

"GUYS! LET'S GO! INTO COSTUME!" Someone yelled. They broke apart.

"I love you too." Castiel said, before they were whisked away.

**Dean: **

Dean wasn't nervous for a second. He didn't care who won, as long as they would be together. He knew Cas wouldn't resent him if he won, and he was almost hurt that Cas didn't have more faith in him to believe the same. As he was whisked away he caught Cas's deep blue eyes one last time. No, he couldn't be hurt about that. Cas wasn't afraid about Dean, Cas was just afraid because he thought that's how people worked. Dean was going to prove him wrong, if it came to that. They preformed Turning Page one last time, because even though they preformed it only the night before, it was the number one favorite routine of the season. Dean was happy to be all painted again with Cas's love, even though the paint was uncomfortable and itchy. He was happy to be doing the exact same dance, because it was his favorite as well. When they finished Cas kissed him differently, with desperation. His kisses spoke volumes. _I love you. _Kiss. _Please let this work out. _Kiss. _I don't want to win if I'm going to lose you. _Kiss. Dean tried to reassure him that nothing bad would happen, but it got to a point where there was nothing that he could do. They stayed up on stage after Turning Page, still covered in paint, while Kat came on. She held the envelope in her hand. More reels of them dancing played behind them.

Dean grasped Cas's hand. How fitting they stayed in their costumes for this moment. He looked out in the audience and saw Sam and Jess and Garth and Meg, Kevin, Jo, and Balthazar. All the friends and family that had helped them get this far. They all looked on eagerly, supporting.

"And the winner of the title 'America's Favorite Dancer' and the cash prize is . . ." Time seemed to freeze and Dean looked sideways at Cas. They didn't say anything, but Cas communicated it all. _This is it. This is the last moment before everything changes. _Dean took his own advice. He breathed, imagining light coming in, and smoke flowing out. "CASTIEL!" The world erupted around them, all the sound flooded back into their ears, confetti sprayed down from the ceiling and Dean cheered, lifting Cas up off his feet and spinning him around,happily. Cas just looked shell-shocked. Dean set him down and kissed him hard. Cas's hands grasped Dean's shoulders as if he needed them to support himself, as if he would drown without Dean standing there, holding him. Dean shouted over the applause,

"CAS YOU DID IT! YOU WON!" He laughed and kissed Cas again, not for a second feeling any sort of resentment. "I'M SO PROUD OF YOU BABE!" Cas finally seemed to come to, his eyes shone brighter and his cheeks were red with blush. Dean brushed a hand along his cheek. "YOU WON! I LOVE YOU!" Dean told him.

"I LOVE YOU TOO DEAN!" They kissed again, before their friends rushed the stage and lifted Castiel up on their shoulders, cheering. Dean looked up at his love, riding the waves of glory he deserved, and felt like he was right there with them, that they shared everything now. They were one.

**One Year Later **

**Castiel: **

"Did you hear? The auditions for the new season started, you're about to be dethroned, unicorn!" Meg told him, handing him a caramel frappe that actually said "Unicorn" on it, and licking a bit of whipped cream off her finger. Castiel took the drink gratefully.

"Of course I heard, it's all anyone is talking about!" They walked through the small streets of Lawrence Kansas together, stopping at a glass door.

"Angel Dance studio. You really took that name seriously, huh?" Meg asked, smirking at the sign on the door.

"It sounded better than Unicorn Dance, honestly."

"I don't know, that horn was pretty attractive." Castiel shuddered.

"You have odd fetishes madam." Meg laughed.

"Always. Anyway, show me around! I'm going to need to know the place if I'm going to be working with you." Castiel smiled and opened the door for her. She walked inside and he gave her a tour of the studio. "Where's Dean?" Meg asked, sitting down on one of the couches in Castiel's office. Castiel tensed up.

"We broke up." He said, looking down.

"YOU WHAT?!" Castiel bit his lip.

"It just wasn't working out-,"

"You're bullshitting." Meg said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, which it probably was. Castiel burst out laughing.

"Yeah okay, I am. He's working right now. We bought a house together, after we helped Sam out with college, we had just enough left over."

"You mean you helped put _his_ brother through college?" Meg asked, twirling the straw around her own frappe.

"I did." Castiel said, looking at her seriously. "I love Dean and Sam both, although in much different ways. Sam is going to do great things, and help people. He deserves a quality education. Besides, I had a little money to spare." Meg rolled her eyes.

"Don't remind me, I was going to have the shopping trip of the century." Castiel smiled at her.

"So did you get called back to allstar too?" Meg grinned.

"I did. I'm excited to be back again!"

"I'm excited to even grace the same stage as you." Castiel said, bowing to her. She flipped her hair.

"The privilege is all yours." She announced. Castiel chuckled and introduced her to some of his dancers when they came in.

**Dean: **

"I can't do this!" The kid announced, clearly pissed off. Dean knelt down to his height.

"What'd we talk about Ben?" Dean asked the juvenile delinquent.

"Breathe." Ben responded, rolling his eyes.

"That's right, breathe." Dean stood up and wiped his hands off on his pants, facing the room of underprivileged children in orange. "Dancing is a perfect release of all that pent up anger and frustration you feel. It's the perfect expression of any emotion. You feel pissed? Dance it. You feel happy? Dance it! That's why you're all here today. You're going to express emotion through dance." One of the kids in the back snickered.

"Isn't that a little . . . gay?" Dean raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, so you don't have emotions?" Dean asked him, getting real close to the kid. "Aren't you in here for assault? It takes a lot of anger to hit someone." The kid shrugged, and wouldn't meet Dean's eyes. "Besides, being gay isn't a bad thing. Now dance kid." Dean ruffled his hair and the kid looked like he would bite Dean, but Dean just danced smoothly out of his reach.

He was happy to have started this program, it was sorely needed in this community, and he felt like he was giving back. He liked the feeling.

** Castiel:**

Castiel stood in front of a mirror, his tuxedo black and shining, straightening his bow tie. His hands shook and he fought the urge to laugh at himself. He hadn't been nervous in so long, he had almost forgotten what it felt like. His body seemed to vibrate with a nervous tension. A hand pressed up to the small of his back, causing him to jump, and then Dean appeared in the mirror beside him.

"Are you nervous?" Dean asked him, wearing a matching tuxedo and a sweet smile, his eyes crinkling around the edges.

"A little bit." Castiel admitted. It wasn't every day you got married. Sam and Jess, newlyweds themselves were there, all their friends from the competition had come, and Dean had tracked down Balthazar, Gabriel, and Anna as a surprise to Castiel. Castiel hadn't seen them in years, and today he would greet them as Mr. Castiel Winchester. They had decided Castiel would take Dean's last name since he had no ties to his own. Dean spun Castiel around to face him and held his waist gently.

"Why are you nervous, angel?" Dean asked softly.

"Because . . . everyone is out there . . . my family . . ." Dean silenced him with a gentle kiss and when he pulled away, he uttered the words Castiel had come to know and love.

"Just breathe."

**The End**

**First off I want to thank anyone and everyone that has read this, and everyone that has been leaving me reviews along the way! It was such a blessing to know that someone was at all interested in my writing! It has made writing this so much more fun! So thank you all, I really love you, my unicorns. Secondly, if anyone is interested, here is a link to my Tumblr post, The Ultimate Destiel playlist, which includes a very long, tedious list I wrote out of all my favorite Destiel songs, and reasons why they work. I used a lot of them in this story, and some of them I will probably be using later (And before I posted it I forgot to delete some notes that I wrote for this fanfiction) I hope you enjoy them! **

** post/89918397995/the-ultimate-destiel-play-list**

**Bye for now! I will be writing more stories soon, but I think it was time this one was closed. I'll leave you with one of my favorite lines of the story (is that selfish? . . . oh well.)**

"_And if you're ever nervous, just breathe"_


End file.
